Loading ...Okay, so we don’t actually have any Tahitimas songs yet, but we’re working on it. Our propagandist can double as our official Tahitimas songwriter. Bas?
But since we don’t yet have any Tahitimas music, I suppose I’ll have to do the top ten christmas songs. I utterly despise christmas music. Next to Unitarian Hymns (how boring are they?) and boy bands, Christmas music is some of the worst on the planet. But sometimes, someone rises above the usual tripe to gleam like the star of Bethlehem.
10. Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, as sung by Brenda Lee. Its Brenda Lee, folks, and you gotta love that spunky, nasal little voice of hers, even when she’s singing about christmas.
9. Fairytale of New York, by the Pogues. You either love it or you hate it, but in my book, its a damn sight better’n fucking Jingle Bells.
8. Little Drummer Boy, as sung by Joan Jett. Yeah, she really belts it out, ay?
7. Blue Christmas, as sung by Elvis. Its Elvis! Do we need another reason to put it on this list?
6. Merry Christmas, War is Over, by John Lennon. If only.
5. Solstice Carole, by the Wyrd Sisters. Finally, someone sings about the true meaning of Christmas.
4. Red Water(Christmas Mourning), by Type O Negative. Wake up, it’s Christmas mourn;Those loved have long since gone; The stocking are hung but who cares; preserved for those no longer there; six feet beneath me sleep. Need I say more?
3. O Holy Night, as sung by Tiny Tim. If you buy one xmas album this year, buy his.
2. Crowleymass, by Current 93. While not exactly an xmas song, it still has a certain over-the-top xmassy charm.
1. Christmas is Now Drawing Near, by Coil. Perfect.
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I’d like to add “Silent Night” by Stevie Nicks. She makes it sound like it is a dirge sung by a dying drunk.
A dirge sung by a dying drunk - didn’t all her music sound that way?
And that is what made her music ROCK!
You’re gay, aren’t you?
It has been remarked upon.
Okay then, Stevie Nicks gets an honourable mention for fine x-mas music (can’t be any more dirge-like than TON after all). Anyone else have any christmas musical offerings?
Good songs, all. Well, the ones I have heard at least, and I can assume the rest are good.
Since it has been remarked upon that R the P is gay, it may also be remarked upon that I too am a gay. Not the only gay in the village, but a gay nevertheless. I say that only because I may be showing my hand with these musical choices, so I want readers to be informed in advance:
* 25th December - Everything but the Girl
* Just for Now - Imogen Heap
* Merry Christmas From The Family - Jill Sobule
* You Ain’t Gettin’ Shit for Christmas - Red Peters [a bit daft, but oddly funny]
* Christmas with the Devil - Spinal Tap
And, last but not least, the obligatory
* Homo Christmas - Pansy Division
When singing along to these cheerful tunes, be sure to insert the word “Tahitimas” in place of “Christmas”. They’re much more fun that way!
Have a Terrific Tahitimas!
Tahitimas has to be the finest idea for a holiday ever. Of course, if you live in Tahiti, every day is Tahitimas! Imagine that - land of eternal Tahitimas.
Mojo, after that list of music, announcing that you’re gay is just redundant and unnecessary. But hooray - more music added to the list!
Now I have to add one song, which, though not Tahitian, is Hawaiian. Close enough, I reckon. Here’s Mele Kalikimaka, the Hawaiian Christmas song:
Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day
That’s the island greeting that we send to you
From the land where palm trees sway
Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii’s way
To say “Merry Christmas to you.”
Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day
That’s the island greeting that we send to you
From the land where palm trees sway
Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii’s way
To say “Merry Christmas to you.”
The Mele Kalikimaka song fits Tahitimas perfectly. Here’s to wishing for a Tahitirific Holiday Season. Fit THAT on a greeting card!
I suggest that when you come down for tahitimas, we have a luau. Or at least go out for a pineapple pizza or somat. Tropical drinks with big umbrellas. Doughnuts. I realise doughnuts aren’t very tropical, but… but they’re doughnuts. They’re kind of like poi, but deep fried in lard and covered in sugar. Tropical enough.
Good points. Not sure about the luau, but we can certainly manage the rest. Truly, one drawback of the tropics is all the fish. Fish interests me when dipped in batter and fried all to hell. With chips on the side and vinegar to drip all over. Now THAT’S fish. The rest of it tends to taste, well, too fishy.
So, here’s to having only fried fish with chips on, and substituting doughnuts for fish wherever possible. Doughnut tacos, grilled doughnut caesar salad, blackened (with chocolate) doughnuts over rice pilaf, pan seared deep sea doughnuts over new potatoes with fresh salsa on top. OK, maybe that’s going a bit overboard (eh?, eh?), but you get the picture.
Bojangles has yellow in their signs and on their boxes; does that count as tropical? It is so heavy that it makes you sick. That’s sort of tropical.
Pineapple pizza (sometimes called a Hawaian Pizza or summat here), is something I find simultaneously attractive and repellant. Not sure what to do about it except keep eating it to see if I can decide for certain.
Doughnut sushi! Oh wait… that actually IS poi, isn’t it?
I agree with you about the Hawaiian pizzas being an ambivilant experience at best. Maybe they’d be better with doughnuts on them, or perhaps we’d be more inclined to eat them if we were promised doughnuts afterward.
Hmmm… what if we just eat pepperoni pizza and then have doughnuts? Skip the sushi, fish, and pineapple-on-pizza experience. It’s best to be parsimonious in foodie situations.
BTW, on the topic of food, I am reading the Che-recommended book _Liquor_ by Poppy Z Brite and I have to say… I spend half of my reading time hungry! What a great foodie book, especially for N.O. gourmet-type cuisine. It’s quite compelling reading too.
‘Liquor’ and ‘Prime’ had me positively drooling. Prime is even worse than liquor for the food descriptions, but both very good books. Don’t read them when you’re hungry!
Yeah, pepperoni then doughnuts might be more our style. I wonder if Ron still has that little pizza place where he makes the sauce according to his Italian grandmother’s recipe. There are a few hidden delights in this town, if you know where to look.
Yeah, I picked up Prime as well. I had better read those before I go on a diet in January!
Never heard of Ron or his homemade pizza sauce, but that is no surprise given that I’m not a local person; I presume it is a LOCAL shop for LOCAL people! Regardless of the eatery, we can go just about anywhere and have a good time, as we showed last time we all got together…
Yes its a simple equation:
Us + roadtrip + margaritas = fun.
And
Us + roadtrip + doughnuts = diet in January
Sometimes I just hate math.
My goodness! I take one plane trip and all Tahitimas breaks loose! And all this talk of doughnuts has awakened the fatty in me! Thank goodness there is a beignet shop right here in the New Orleans airport!
HEY! Don’t rub it in that we’re sans beignets! :-(
Me too! The shop is closed.
What a world!
I guess it’s for breakfast only? Wouldn’t we all love some beignets right now… :-( >-( ;-(
closed! I was hoping at least one of us would get some beignets!
I would prefer it was me, but can’t have everything.
Hey, R the P, buy us some beignet mix! Then eventually I could have some inferior beignets. That’s something.
AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!
You’ve got me wantin’ beignets now.
But I can’t buy the mix either! The store is closed! It has never been closed! Never!
It is obviously a conspiracy against Tahitimas. I can think of no other reason to close the Beignet store. I had to get a much inferior lemon bar. I guess citrus is tropical and Tahiti is tropical, but it isn’t the same as a traditional Tahitimas beignet!
I was just thinking that maybe I could make my own. Then I found a recipe online. I guess not…
http://frenchfood.about.com/od/cajuncreolecuisine/r/beignet.htm
bleh… :-(
There have to be some mix for sell somewhere.
In fact, I think we have some in our pantry from when we went to New Orleans a while ago. I don’t know how well it keeps, but we never made it once we got home.
Hey Mojo! I went to Amazon.com to read a review of a book I was thinking of getting in the airport (good thing I did too, it had TERRIBLE reviews) and what pops up when I open Amazon?
An add for Mojo Balls! Mojo II Golf Balls that is!
HEY… I didn’t license that! I certainly wouldn’t sell on Amazon. I find the personal touch is best in such matters.
And I don’t remember seeing that mix in a very long time. It would be older than dirt if we still have it. Was it from 2002?
It is nice that you can look up a book review right in the bookstore. Hurrah Amazon! Except for selling those Mojo Balls. That’s not right!
The internet coffee shop just closed! My coworker’s plane better arrive soon so I can get out of Bizarro New Orleans Airport.
Us Bizarros do opposite things! We am hate delicious beignets! We am hate internet cafes. We am hate direct flights from New York to New Orleans!
Denise Richards destroy what Denise Richards do not understand!
Just what the F is going on with NO airport? Why are they CLOSING the internet café at 4:30 PM? That is weird! At least it’s weird to us, but I guess 50% of all businesses here are open until at least 10 PM, but I don’t think it’s like that in NO.
Oh, well. At least you have a Blackberry!
Us Bizarros love Denise Richards. She am air traffic controller at Bizarro New Orleans airport. If blinking light no go where Denise Richards want it am go, Denise Richards throw computer out Bizarro window.
And speaking of Bizarro, why is the airport abbreviation for the New Orleans Louis Armstrong International Airport “MSY”? Two of those letters appear nowhere in the name! Is it supposed to stand for “Mississippi’s over Yonder”?
There are loads of airports with bizarro abbreviations. The hubs tend to make sense, but not so many others. The key is to look it up on the internet (good ol’ internet!):
“Two good examples from Louisiana are MSY and ESF—Moisant Field in New Orleans”. The M and the s are part of MS and the Y was added to make it three letters (there was already an MSF, it seems). Here is a link to the rest of the story:
http://www.skygod.com/asstd/abc.html
Now we know… Uh, methinks we have gone astray from the original Tahitimas Songs list.
I nominate one additional song, despite the fact that it is annoyingly catchy, if bizarre (or bizarro, if you wish): Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey. For those in the northeast, this plays on the radio quite a lot, but for those of you in the rest of the world, I bet you have never heard it.
Here’s a link (hee-haw!): http://tinyurl.com/yysg55
Download the MP3 and sing along! I particularly like that all the products noted were “made in Broo-ka-lyn”. Oh, and BTW, this is not safe for work, because your coworkers will kill you for listening to it over and over.
Yes, your coworkers will kill you, and you deserve a fate worse than death if you listen to it more than once. I listened to the mp3 and the song got stuck in my head. I had to listen to Laibach to get it unstuck (they shot Dominick and marched over his bloody corpse in jackboots).
Ahhhhhhh, the relief.
That airport thing… too complicated for this time of the morning. I’ll tackle it when I’ve had my second cup of coffee.
I only listen to it once, then wait a while until the memory rebuilds in my head; then I listen again. But I close my office door so as not to elicit coworker wrath. Bloody donkey.
No need to read about the airport thing. It’s rather boring even for nerds like me and R the P. Spare yourself the agony. Have the coffee; ignore the airports.
Well I have to vote for Dominic the Donkey anyway - he has the same name as one of my WH40K characters. And he’s a donkey. My first toy as a child was a stuffed donkey. Named ‘Donkey’. I used to carry him around by the ears. He eventually lost his clothes, an eye, and most of his fur, but I still loved him.
Coffee is definitely better’n airports. But if you’re in an airport, and the coffee shops (and beignet shops) are closed, thats just a little too much like hell. I hope R the P finally found his beignets.
Agreed. We will include the donkey. What’s not to like about donkeys? They’re ornery, churlish, and sometimes mean, but cuddly and cute as stuffed toys. I would pay cash-money to see a photo of you, age 4, with raggedy Donkey in hand. Priceless.
Coffee is way better than airports. But airports without coffee and with tempting but unattainable beignets? Pure Evil. And not the good kind.
Well this post is two comments short of being the most commented, so I feel honour bound to make a post to tie it for first place.
Go Tahitimas!
Why tie when you can surpass?! Tahitimas songs are the best!!!
I’d give anything to be in the New Orleans airport now but I’m stuck in some desolate place in the backwaters of the city, lost, missed my flight, and not being able to get anywhere! There was a huge accident that closed I-10 and I-610 and they forced us to leave the interstate and hope we find our way back. Not one of my too 10 favorite New Orleans moments.
R the P, have you gotten to the airport?
I did, but no more flights tonight.
What’re you gonna do? Have you got a room for the night?
Also, most people phone home to say ‘my flight’s delayed, see you tomorrow’…. but you do so on my blog. I’m honoured.
Yes. I did get a room. And the crash that delayed us is all over the news.
And i figured if Shattered Prayer is the repository of my airport musings, it should know about my airport delays!
Finally at the airport! My plane should take off soon. In fact, I just saw it pull up to the gate!
Yay!!!!
Can you use blackberries on a plain? Noted!
Just hit me.. beignets are what we call ‘oliebollen’! Which translates as ‘oilballs’. The one dish my father gets to cook every year on new year’s eve. And they are brilliant!!!
With sucade and currents in them.. NO eggs.. (My father is allergic. But it tastes way, way better also.) Lots of yeast. Icing sugar on top.
We could open a beignet store in NO, couldn’t we?
The Tahitimas Beignet & Disasterini Bar.
I’ll call my people.. You call your people.. and tell them they’ll be contacted by my people. And when we have all our people calling eachother we’ll get back in touch on this one!
Tahitimas B&D Bar.. TBD Bar..
Do we have a J for a drink? TBJ Bar?
It’s got to have broadband internet as well.
No BlackBerries on a plane, unless the plane is on the ground and has already landed. It’s just that I am spending A LOT of time in the New Orleans airport. A LOT.
Too much!
And I am all for the Tahitimas Beignet and Disasterini Bar. And in New Orleans it would make a mint!
It think, however, if it is call Tahitimas Oil Balls and Disasterini Bar, it would attract an entirely different crowd.
Or maybe not in New Orleans.
I just looked up “oliebollen” on the Dutch Wikipedia. Not speaking a word of dutch, I’m not sure that it took me where I wanted to go. This is where I finally got, and it is isn’t quite a beignet as I know it from New Orleans.
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berliner_Ballen
From the picture, I think we’d call that a jelly donut (i.e. JFK telling Berlin that he was a jelly donut.)
This is the beignet that I know and love.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beignet
Notice it has enough powdered sugar (or icing sugar) to cover 23 beignet instead of 3.
I do see that the beignet can be made with two types of pastry. I think the yeast one must be the oliebollen. They don’t serve those at Cafe Du Monde. There is nothing inside except pastry and more pastry. And air.
And how sweet of Wikipedia to take the picture of the beignet at the Cafe Du Monde!
I mean, the picture is not the same quality as blender (whatever happened to blender?) but it still is a fine picture.
Berliner Ballen are German.. and indeed a different ballpark. For dutch oil balls go to:
http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliebol
And i’m sure they’re a bit more sturdy then the delicate beignets.
And i forgot to mention we at times also put some beer in the batter. And we generally don’t have jelly in our sturdy beer balls
Awww… That beignet entry in wiki looks so tasty!! We’ve got to do that shop..
From oil balls to jelly free sturdy beer balls. You make it sound so tempting! What ball treat will come next.
And if you have a good way to combine beer and beignets, you’ve made a friend forever in Mojo!
Che, you have the best blog!
Bas, R the P is right: If you find a way to make beer-infused beignets, you will officially be included on my friend list! That is the perfect combination of two of my favorite things - pastries and beer. Mmmmm… beery pastry… [drooling]
Che, you DO have the best blog! None of us want to have a blog now, because ours will pale in comparison. Plus, R the P and I know nothing about coding, so that is a further hindrance.
Can you believe we’ll be seeing you soon, Che? Bas, if you want to join in, feel free to book a flight! If you do decide to fly over, please do bring those jelly-free sturdy beer balls! I am very intrigued.
Well when the conversation turns to sturdy beer balls, you know its a blog like no other.
Mojo, every day I find something new to admire in you. I have to concur with the beer/pastry combination. It has beer! It has pastry! Its even better than poi-pizza!
We could make a sturdy beer ball Tahitimas carol!
I’m dreaming of a sturdy beer ball Tahitimas
Oiled up and jelly free for all!
Ah, the classics! It sounds like a carol Che’s grandmother would love!
The most popular post EVER!
Ahh.. Just found another local song variety on a Xmas song. One from the Catalan:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tio_de_Nadal
I love the Catalan.
And on a more modest note.. I got a new Tahitimas song up online. It is called the Tahitimas EP. And i think from there any relevance is lost. (www.myspace.com/poesboes)
If only someone could write me some funky lyrics…
That was a hint
Bas, the Tahitimas EP is awsome!
*Dancing around in a grass skirt and a lei*