(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)
Loading ...Yes thats right, I’ve been showing my mother how to use eBay to buy christmas presents. Maybe that should be my new career move - helping old ladies shop online.
“Oh look at that pink-ice ring”, she says, while I fight to hold on to my lunch, “ain’t that nice. This is better than QVC.”
And what, pray tell, isn’t better than QVC? I’d prefer an hour of being flayed alive to an hour of QVC. And is there any atrocity greater than the bright pink pseudo-gemstone known as pink-ice?
“See if you can find some diamonique”, she says, “or maybe some black hills gold.”
Shall I look for a spitoon and some blocks for the pick-up truck while I’m at it?
But my mother won’t let me set her up a paypal account. “That just ain’t safe”, she says. But then, she refuses to use or even own a debit card. She still writes cheques. Who writes cheques anymore?
“I’ll just use my paypal account”, I say, “and you can pay me back.”
“I’ll write you a cheque”, she says.
“What the hell am I going to do with a cheque?”, I ask.
I suppose it could be worse - she could keep her money buried in a jar in the back yard, “I’ll pay you back as soon as Don gits in the back yard and digs up the money-jar.”
Needless to say that, while surfing with mom, I won’t be showing her my blog.
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Thursday, December 14th, 2006 at 1:18 pm and is filed under criminal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I love EBay!!! Love it, love it!
Where else can you get issues of Captain Marvel, Jr from the 1940s? Where?
No where, that’s where!
Where else can you get “Who Killed Teddy Bear” starring Sal Mineo?
No where, that’s where!
It’s heaven to a collector who wastes all his money on dead gay movie stars and funny books from the 40s!
Heaven.
But I do have a PayPal account.
Actually i did find Che on eBay…
Hah, before you know Mom is a Powerseller. And you’d be writing here cheques.
Bas and Che met on EBay?
That is a story worth hearing.
Who was selling? Who was buygin? Did you leave each other good feedback?
Bas and I did meet on eBay. He bought some CDs from me and we never stopped talking. And yes, we left each other glorious feedback. I suppose eBay is good for all kinds of things! Not just dead gay movie stars.
But not good for my mother. I mean… pink ice? I swear, if anyone ever sees pink ice on my fingers, you have my permission to lop off my hands.
Maybe I’ll try taking off the ring first, but if you want me to go directly to hand lopping, I guess it is my best friend duty to oblige!
And it is true, not only can you find dead gay movie stars and CDs sold by witty disaster displaced women, you can also buy lots and lots and lots of tacky crap.
Hey, how about that ‘The Velvet Underground’ acetate pressing that just went for $155.000?
eBay has it’s highs and lows… In any case, you always wonder who’s behind all those things.
I was not disaster displaced at the time I met Bas - I was still in NOLA.
Nope, can’t say I keep an eye on ebay these days like I used to. But it does have its highs and its lows, just like everyone I reckon.
And i was in NOLA for a work visit. But that was before Che arrived…
We are all swirling in circles around that place, aren’t we?
I’ve been in New Orleans with Che and I’ve also been with Mojo, but all three of us have never been there together. Looks like I’ll have to go there with Bas to round it out.
And then we’ll keep running combinations and permutations until everyone’s been there with everyone else!
I’ve been in New Orleans with R the P (and Ho-Kim), where I beat up a Christian on Bourbon St. I’ve also been in nola with the other Richard - the one who posted on my blog a few times, thus causing R the P to add “the Previous” to his name to differentiate himself from Bahamas Richard. When Bahamas Richard came to visit, I got so drunk on tequila shots I found myself in Congo Square explaining to a crack dealer why he shouldn’t sell crack in Congo Square, then on my way home fell and busted my knee, which took damn near 3 weeks to heal. I’ve also been in New Orleans with Pi. He didn’t want to do anything while there. But he never wants to do anything.
I do agree we must all visit together, and in various combinations. Though frankly I’d rather just move back there, and have people visit me, rather than just visit.
I would definitely visit you if you move back there. For crying out loud, I’m there every single week as it is now! We could hang out as much as we used to when we both lived in Macon.
Just expect to spend HOURS and HOURS and HOURS at the New Orleans airport.
I vote for your return to Nola! If another hurricane came up, we’d buy you a plane ticket out of there if need be.
Yay for Big Easy Che!
Yeah, totally concur! Nola is the place to be.. Then again.. I’m a little pissed at the moment! Had a little too much seasonal beer called ‘Silent night’. (Stille Nacht 12%)
Aaarghhww, woy, waaayy tooooo good!
Love you guys..
Mojo and I are in the South visiting our families for Christmas. They live out in the country with limited access (even my BlackBerry struggles for A signal) so we will have a harder time responding to the wonderful Shattered Prayer. But we will see Che next week (Yay!)
And Bas it took me two readings to understand what you meant. In the states, pissed means angry. I thought ‘why is he so angry?’ Then I realized you meant drunk! Mojo is interested in your Silent Night! I’m more interested in those sturdy beer balls!
Yay for the South, yay for visiting me, yay! Boo for limited online access. Boo!
I too am interested in the Silent Night. Stille Nacht sounds so much cooler than “Silent Night”, don’t it?
And Richard has been interested in sturdy beer balls for as long as I’ve known him. Some things never change.
And having lived in England, I knew what the hell ‘pissed’ meant, though I was rarely ‘pissed’ when living in England. I was usually on GHB, (which was legal over there at the time so I wasn’t breaking the law, kay?) and since it don’t mix too well with alchohol, I rarely drank. Alrighty then.
I can’t wait to see R the P, Mojo, and A the girl. Much Tahitimassy love goes out to Bas and the Shattered Prayer gang.
Stille Nacht does sound much better than Silent Night.
And a big boo for limited internet usage!
I was embarrassed that I didn’t immediately think ‘drunk’ for pissed, especially since it makes so much sense in context.
Love in temporary abstentia for the Shattered Prayer gang!
Hey great! All visiting Che?
Duhh… That’s not ‘pissed off’? Or is that too close to ‘piss off’.. Or is that UKenglish again..
I was well inebriated.
And Stille Nacht is a beautiful Belgian triple beer which we found in cafe Belgie here.. Figures. It’s supposed to be quite rare too.
(They have a great web site at http://www.oerbier.be)
Well.. I think Macon is in for a Tahitimas to remember! Make it a good one.
Macon may be in for a Tahitimas to remember, but I say that we all set our goals for spending Tahitimas the right way next year - in Tahiti?
who’s with me?
In the Tahiti wet season… That’ll bring back some memories!