Loading ...…and other Tahitimas traditions.
I was thinking about traditions that we should keep for Tahitimas. We have our new traditions, like luaus and drive-by shootings of plaster wise-men in nativity scenes, but what about some of the time-honoured traditions of the holiday season?
I’m good with the Yule-log. Rolling a burning log down a hill is one good way to spend an evening, especially if you’re drunk. “Hey, look at it go!” we’d say, and take a swig of beer. And speaking of drunkenness, we should definitely keep the tradition of wassailing.
So what is wassailing, exactly? Well, its caroling, but its caroling with a twist. The carolers go from door to door singing, and asking for wassail, which is a spiced wine. In other words, its kind of like musical trick-or-treating for booze. Count me in. I’ve done far worse things for a drink than sing dumb-ass music.
Other traditions we should keep: The Festivus tradition of Feats of Strength. Because I’ll win. I also like the Airing of Grievances, but since I do that all year long, I’m not sure it would feel too special on Tahitimas.
The Saturnalia tradition of gambling is one we should keep, to make my mother happy. She loves gambling.
I also enjoy the Unitarian Universalist tradition of cheesecake, fudge, pies, cakes, cookies and copious amounts of booze. If I remember correctly, R the P enjoys that one too.
Now, I know I’m leaving out many traditions from a variety of religions, so I’m going to be honest. Those of you who spend the winter holidays praying to one god or another - thats just dull. We can’t have that. No praying at Tahitimas, unless its to some Polynesian god.
For those of you who are helping me institute Tahitimas as a new winter festival, please submit ideas for Tahitimas customs, new and old.
Buy me a beer!
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Comments
This entry was posted on Thursday, December 21st, 2006 at 9:29 pm and is filed under fanatical, mystical. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I say we keep the tradition of stealing other people’s traditions and calling them our own. Isn’t that how Christmas started?
In that spirit, I say we take the Polynesian tradition of being really fat for no real reason. I’ve already got started on that one.
I’d suggest the wassailing to be conducted in the nude and on pogo sticks!
Maybe we need a more modern twist? Ritual burning of last years’ phonebooks? Then again, who uses phonebooks anymore..
Mmm.. Difficult! It’s got to be something you don’t do all year, yet anybody has to be able to enjoy and take part in.
It would be difficult drinking the wassail while pogoing. Maybe that is where the nude comes in, in case you spill it. Won’t mess up your clothes.
I’m imagining spilling wassail all over myself while nude pogo-caroling, and the wassail freezing to my chest. I’d end up doing my wassailing with wassailcicles hanging from my tits. Hmmmm…. wassailcicles. Might be tasty, actually.
I was thinking it would be a great group activity to have to lick up any wassail spilled on your fellow pogo carollers. That would bring the group closer, and isn’t that the true purpose of Tahitimas?
He, he.. Richard you..
My imagination stopped at communal embarrassment; that seems to be a point in many celebrations.
Mmm.. We need a goal. Place of ultimate worship. Well, we got that. Tahiti, i guess. Is there anything we could focus on on Tahiti? An old stone.. Old building with a lot of history?
A very, very old and respected bar?