Loading ...The season of baby Jesus being officially over, I find myself missing him a little. So today, instead of surfing for Japanese porn, (as one does on a lazy Sunday afternoon), I went surfing for the Lord.
One site I found was just too good to be true. I especially love the page that declares “Feminism is Evil! Beware of Feminists, many are lesbians!”. As a feminist, I can say that there is no element of feminism that is a bigger turn-off than the rampant lesbianism. Oh, the lesbians would be fine if they’d go away after having sex with me, but no, there they are, bags packed, ready to move in after the first date.
Of course, during our Tahitimas celebration, R the P and Mojo did point out that one good way for me to get a new home would be to have a lesbian affair. I could move in the next day!
There’s another page that covers the devil’s music, and they include such bands as the Backstreet Boyz and N’Sync in this category. I couldn’t agree more!
And of course, this site also covers the evils of homosexshuls, Pagans, and George Bush. Wait… George Bush? Yep - obviously he’s a part of some huge Satanic conspiracy. I guess the christians can be right about some things.
For those of you who grew up with those wonderful Chick Publications tracts (I know I did), Jack Chick has a website. A few of their comics are online there.
And then there’s the Exposing Satanism site. For those of you who read this evil blog on a regular basis(and I know who you are), then you definitely need to repent of your wicked ways.
Well, I smell barbeque, so thats my cue to quit writing, and start eating.
Buy me a beer!
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Comments
This entry was posted on Sunday, January 7th, 2007 at 4:46 pm and is filed under fanatical. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
OMG, I cannot believe you located the so-called author of those abominations! Jack Chick, huh? I remember that melodramatic crap totally scaring me to death when I was 10 years old! Gee thanks you ol’ nutter, Jack. What complexity of thought! What clever diction!
Of course, my church warn’t much on the reedin’ nor ritin’ so we only got those brilliant tract publications. I think they were worse than the comics. At least the tracts were free.
Of course, I’m looking at all of them now. I like the one called “The Beast”. Apparently, if we don’t refuse the mark of the Beast to become martyrs for god, then the world will turn into a cheaper version of the Thriller video. And preachers will be given “the business”. Don’t they have enough business already?
Wow. Just… wow.
If you haven’t looked at the tracts section of Chick’s website, you must, must, must! Even the titles and descriptions are just outrageous. I like how they had to ‘adapt’ the Jesus is my Best Friend tract for black audiences (!!!).
For English:
http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp
Oh, and Bas, you will LOVE this… they have these atrocities in DUTCH (and many other languages)! I really hope they’re just as ridiculous in Dutch, or perhaps the Dutch language cannot even contain that much dumb-assery:
http://www.chick.com/catalog/TractLookUp.asp?Language=Dutch
Sorry that last URL was too long…
The important point here is that Mr Chick is trying to infringe on our cookbook/mixers book idea. He has a tract called “The Death Cookie”! Let’s focus on that right away and come up with a similar but slightly different cookie… perhaps, the Rather Highly Painful Linzer Torte. Or, perhaps, Razor Wire Moon Pie?
What the hell is going on with my header? Why does THIS blog and only this blog alway get strange things appearing out of nowhere.
Anyway, yes, Jack Chick. I remember being terrified of his tracts too. How could they give those things to children? I mean, they’re cartoons, but they’re SCARY cartoons.
And the Death Cookie? I do believe that refers to the host. And lets be honest. Those hosts do taste pretty bad. Maybe not deadly, but close.
Still - how about the Blunt Force Trauma Gateaux? Triple Bypass Boston Creme Pie.
I don’t know - seems to me Death by Chocolate is still the way to go.
Don’t know… your header looks fine to me. But I bet you hear that from all the guys.
Good lord, those churches were just plain irresponsible, giving out those horrid little tracts. Hmph, but why should they care so long as they keep forcing it down everyone’s throat, consolidating their social power base. Do not get me started…
Yes, the Death Cookie is indeed the body of the lord via transubstantiation. This Chick guy has so many enemies he just attacks them all through his brilliant art form: tracts. What an amazing artist!!!
Oh, my favorite is the BFT Gateaux, though the TBBCP is also a fan favorite. How will I decide which ones to choose?! Burn Unit Bananas Foster or Arsenic Apple Cider or even Pound Yer Brains Out Cake. For that last one, I do know you substitute powdered lead for the sugar. Not as tasty, but very effective.
No there’s an extra grey header space up there that shouldn’t be there. I know whats causing, just piddling around trying to rectify it.
Hi, hi! Well… Mojo, they offer to run a series in Dutch, but you got to order 1 0 . 0 0 0 copies!
Love the menu item ‘Statements of Faith’ being followed by ‘Discounts’.
Showing this to kids is really sick. Then again the bible has not much good to say on children; quite the opposite as far as i understand.
Make mine a Bible Bashed Dougnut.. host in the hole.
Let’s send Mr. Chick a Happy Tahitimas card! Better still, a Tahimas tract!
(bas 10:32)
On a slightly unrelated note, Che, I love the Blog Honor Member link! Good stuff.