Jan 18 - On Velveeta

By Che-Rex| Category: edible |

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Between discussing the storms in the Netherlands on the comments in the Moving Day post, some mention was made of the taste treat, Velveeta.  Bas asked if Velveeta was like that flavoured cheese that comes in tubes. No… no it is not.

Velveeta is approximately brick-shaped and brick sized, and only slightly lighter. Wikipedia gives Velveeta’s ingredients as follows:

Its the alginate that scares me.

Here in the south, Velveeta is a staple in every white trash household. It has a soft, rubbery texture and a slightly sweetish flavour, like cheese-flavoured candy. And speaking of candy, many southerners make fudge with the stuff.

I swear.

Here’s a recipe:

Velveeta Fudge

  • 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
  • 8 ounces pasteurized process cheese, Velveeta, cubed
  • 1 1/2 pounds confectioners’ sugar, about 5 cups unsifted
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
  • 1/2 cup non-fat dry milk
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 2 cups coarsely chopped pecans or walnuts
In
a large saucepan over medium heat butter and cheese cubes together,
stirring frequently; remove from heat. Sift together confectioners’
sugar and cocoa; add to cheese, mixing well. Stir in non-fat dry milk,
vanilla and nuts.
Turn into a 9×9x2-inch pan; chill until firm and cut into squares.

Add a little curare, and you’ve got “Velveeta Fudge of the Undead”. But I digress.

My mother still makes Mac and Cheese with Velveeta. I have to say, I prefer it to the pissy, fancy mac and cheese that’s made with real cheese. The way the velveeta sort of clings gently to the noodles, filling the little noodle orifices with creamy, velveety goodness. Mmmmm….. alginate.

And one word about Bas’ new website. Um… I’ve noticed that you go there, click on the logo, where it takes you to a page with the same logo, which you then click on, and it takes you to another page which - as you may have guessed - has the same logo. Then if you click on THAT logo, it will take you back to the front page, where, if you click on the logo, will take you to another page with the same logo, where, if you click on…. well…. you get the picture.

Very symbolic, Bas. Circle of life an’all.

And Bas, you know we love you and hope you’re weathering the storm. Keep safe and check in when you can.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, January 18th, 2007 at 5:02 pm and is filed under edible. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

9 Comments so far


  1. Richard the Previous on January 18, 2007 6:26 pm

    I too noticed the Bas-go-round that was on his website! I never got to the pictures except the one he linked to the Shattered Prayer.

    Velveeta also is an important ingredient in that holiday staple “Sausage and cheese dip.” It is made by melting Velveeta and putting sausage in. For those who don’t like to live on the wild side, there is “Cheese and hamburger dip.” I’ll let you guess how it is made.

    By the way, my BlackBerry seems to think it should be “duo” and not “dip” just like it thinks I should be nuding my time instead of biding it. The best, however, is the fact that instead of Richard the Previous, it feels I should be Richard the Precious.

  2. Bas on January 18, 2007 7:13 pm

    Velveeta. Well it sounds very much like cheese by it’s ingredients. But it seems like a lot of work to make something like that! It’s not like a simple tit-of-the-cow kind of way.

    I think if you don’t add the alginate you’ll end up with IKEA danish tube.

    Ohh yes.. my homepage. The quintessential essence of life! (BlackBerry that!) Stuck in a rut with a marginally changing background.
    I’ll let you know when it’s out of the loop

    Thanks for the great Valveeta explanation!
    I’m getting really infatuated by the American Cuisine!

  3. Mojo on January 18, 2007 8:05 pm

    Oh, you do not even know, my friend. So much fat and chemicals and calories in US “food”, that your head would be spinning with high blood sugar. They actually sell treats called Ho-Hos and Ring-Dings and Devil Dogs and … the list goes on. Most are quite strange, but clearly they do a good business. Has anyone told you about Moon Pies? Or Pecan Logs? What about fatback or pork rinds? You have so much to learn and so little time.

  4. Richard the Previous on January 18, 2007 8:08 pm

    The best thing about Velveeta is that when you unwrapped it (take it out of the box and then out of the space age foil wrapped around it) you can actually see the indentations in the cheese brick made by the foil! It is just completely unnatural.

    Here is a link with a picture of the cheese unwrapped.

    http://www.foodsubs.com/Cheprocessed.html

    The best thing about the link is that it is “Cheprocessed.” Che Processed.

  5. che on January 18, 2007 8:14 pm

    Richard the Precious and Che the Processed. Thats it, I have a title now!

    Velveeta is an unnatural foodstuff. Like me, Keith Richards, and cockroaches, it will likely survive the apocalypse.

    American food? Is there such a thing? I thought we just stole everyone elses food then mass produced it. Then again - from whom did we steal the Twinkies?

    In England, I developed a taste for the white stilton with the apricots in it. Yum.

  6. Richard the Previous on January 18, 2007 8:21 pm

    I love that title! I’d buy that book.

  7. Bas on January 19, 2007 9:23 pm

    I slowly begin to understand why my friend Wendy is so busy with importing cheese to the US… She does cheese for Zabars: http://www.zabars.com

    Cheprocessed also mentions La Vache qui Rit; now that’s familiar! It’s kind of a soft spead though, but it tastes like Swiss cheese; very nice!

    Oh Twinkies.. Very much US! http://www.twinkies.com/aboutus.asp

    I got some stuff up on http://www.poesboes.com! That was a lot of HTML; it’s all getting back again

    I could do with some of your food suggestions right now Mojo! I have visited the States a couple of times and every time i gained a fair bit of weight every visit; and i can’t say i’ve really eaten that much.. It’s just so well packaged!

    Say Cheese!

  8. che on January 19, 2007 9:36 pm

    Hey, the site’s looking good, Bas! And I love the fact that the carrot-grater song is on your first release, not to mention my song. I love having a song. I’m still working on my new site. Well… I got this one done, everything moved but the other one is even more work. Hopefully I’ll have it all up and running this weekend.

    Zabars - I wonder if Mojo and R the P have ever been there.

  9. Bas on January 20, 2007 5:33 am

    I’ll have your song up asap Che! But like with you, it’s.. just.. so much handy work!
    I found the web-based uploader can’t handle larger files.. Or at least it very alarmingly bumped all my MP3’s. Switched to real ftp and that worked fine though. And then you realize you’ve coded all song lofi.. And handcoding a clickable map…

    More and more respect to how snazzy your site is looking

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