Loading ...I’ve been on a food-spree lately, a bad-food spree, and may as well continue the trend. We’ve covered velveeta, spam and pickle, now its time to confront a little-known taste treat which my friends in England referred to as ‘vegetable matter’.
Vegetable Matter was the accidental invention of my ex-husband, a foul concoction of potatoes and tinned vegetables, stewed to a slop and then stored in plastic containers for light-years until is became a greenish amalgam of… well… vegetable matter.
I learned that this concoction came about when Pi’s housemate, Ross, tried to teach him to make spaghetti bolognaise. How the hell spaghetti bolognaise managed to morph into the slurry known as vegetable matter is beyond my comprehension. My ex could not cook - this is a well-known fact. I remember the time he tried to make french-fries (chips, as they call them). In luke-warm grease. Yeah… get the picture?
My first meal when I arrived in England was vegetable matter, served to me by a loving future husband with great pride and affection.
“And you ate it?”, Adam asked, when told the story of my arrival, “thats true love.”
No, that’s jet lag. I was too weak to fend off the vegetable matter attack. I became ill soon after arriving, and remained sick for several weeks. I have no idea if the vegetable matter contributed to my sickness, but thats pretty much all I ate in my first weeks there. I was too sick to get up and get my own food.
As soon as I was able to do so, I arose from my misery to cook chicken parmesan and fetuccini alfredo. (and by the way, I make the best fetuccini alfredo on earth - its my specialty. Even Italian grandmothers flush with shame when they taste my alfredo).
“What are you doing up so early?”
The answer to that question, these days, seems always to be “Cleto”.
Technorati Tags: vegetable matter, Cleto, true love, jet lag
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Comments
This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007 at 7:19 am and is filed under edible. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I also fail to see how Vegetable Matter resulted from attemped spaghetti bolognese. Regardless of the intent, I’m sorry to hear that you were greeted with VM, instead of proper food. Still, I guess it was an effort. Some people just cannot cook. Perhaps it’s genetic.
With your boast about fettuccini alfredo, I’m tempted to request evidence of said ability. Well, sometime when we’re not hundreds of miles from each other. I suspect FA would not make it through the US Postal Service intact. It would probably become Pasta Matter.
Good ol’ Cleto. Our kitty also has a clear timeline for our waking to feed, pet, or entertain her. Or just to meow at us for no known reason.
When I think of vegetable matter, I think of detritus littering the forest floor. Not something I care to eat.
And because I am a comic book geek, I also think of Tenzil Kem, a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes whose super-hero name was Matter Eater Lad! He came from the planet Bismol (I guess of the Pepto kind) and his super power was, um, eating matter. I’m not making this up.
You gotta love the 60s.
Yes R the P, thats why we called it ‘vegetable matter’. It was a joke - a jocular reference to the detritus littering the forest floor. Haha… gerrit? See, despite their many culinary faults, at least the british have a sense of humour.
And good lord, thats the most useless super-hero I’ve ever heard of. Well… almost. If he’d been around, at least he could have done away with Pi’s vegetable matter.
And Mojo - I’d be happy to make FA for you anytime you are less than a thousand miles away.
Absolutely stupid power but it led to many great panels of Matter Eater Lad eating the other Legionnaires out of jail. Once he even ate them through the ground, tunneling them to freedom. Never mind Superboy was a member who could dig them out. Never mind gay old Element Lad could turn the earth into air. “We gotta get out. Tenzil, get to eating.”
And in the cruelest of all ironies, he was kicked out of the Legion for getting to fat. That’ll learn him to eat the others out of a bind.
Oh they don’t write ‘em like that any more.
And just so EVERYONE can enjoy Matter Eater Lad (who was honored with a song by Guided by Voices), here he is, in all his eating glory.
http://www.comicvine.com/matter-eater-lad/3598/costumes/&c=336
And here he is again, on one of my favorite comic related websites which tells us what we’ve always known, that Superman is a dick.
ME Lad is in the Stupid Powers Section.
http://www.superdickery.com/stupor/42.html
The only defense against Matter Eater Lad is not to be made of matter. Or to stand a few feet away from him.
Ha, ha!!! Well with Matter Eaters’ diet i think even he would have avoided vegetable matter!
Brilliant character that! I used to collect some newer Marvel Comics, but this is great!
I got to have a taste of that alfredo one day, Che.. Yum!!!
I’d give Cleto a tin of Spam.. that will keep him busy. He might even like it. It does look a bit like catfood, doesn’t it?
Bas, R the P is THE comic collector with all sorts of esoteric knowledge about them. If you ever have any questions, feel free to ask. He’ll have the answer or will know where to get it, no doubt.
Cleto, despite his bad behavior does not deserve to eat Spam. It’s just awful. For about a year when I was a kid, folks where I lived thought Spam would be great, so I had it several times before I realized it was rather bad. I think cat food looks better and is likely more nutritious. Go for some Fancy Feast next time you are hungry - not Spam!
Where has the Shattered Pope gone? Has Matter Eater Lad chased you away from your own blog? There are worse people associated with the Legion. Be thankful I didn’t mention Porcupine Pete (shoots quills from anywhere on his body), Eyeful Ethel (has lots of Eyes), Infectious Lass (makes people ill), or Arm Fall Off Boy (um, his arms fall off).
Shattered Prayerians miss you.
Hey Bas, I saw in the News that Dutch TV is producing a show called “Love at Second Sight” about dating among the visibly disfigured. People with disfigurementa are encouraged to apply. Apparently it was originally called “Monster Love” but the Dutch public objected.
I just thought you would like to know that this is the type of news we get in the States about European countries.
Oh my gosh, Bas. Two Dutch news stories in the US in one day! That recent storm made some US journalist aware of the Netherlands again. And they promptly searched for the silliest stories they could find.
And this one is tangentially related to the Legion (in that they are produced by DC Comics which also produces stories featuring the Joker!)
Apparently a 35 year old man in Hellevoetsluis applied for his Dutch ID using the name “The Joker.” He then painted his face white and donned a purple hat for his ID photo.
He claimed he was doing it to show the laxness of the ID system, but I think he just really loved the Joker.
Or really hated Batman.
Yeah Che.. where art thou!? URL please
Hey! Didn’t hear that Richard! Great thinking… Mmm, if i could choose? Wolverin.. Logan Wolverin for sure! With an ID photo of me just short of destroying the camera for taking too long! Yek, yek, yek!
Ahhh.. Hey, did you get to hear about the ‘Farmer looking for wife’ show over there?
Big succes!! I haven’t seen it, but as i understand the most beautiful women sign up for a blind date with a farmer… and let nature take it’s course. Farmers have very little time to find a wife and there’s a drain to the cities.
Oew.. Got to run. Concert tonight. Bye!
Well, you know what happens when the farmer takes a wife. . .
The cheese stands alone.
Seriously, though, folks. No one was harmed in the making of that joke.
I beg to differ, RtP, I was quite harmed by it.
Enjoy your concert Bas!
While I miss Che on the SP, I cannot complain because she is being very helpful re technical and spiritual matters.
Perhaps she is fighting The Government Agency Which Must Not Be Named. Poor Che!
Interesting stuff going on in the Netherlands. Sounds similar to the US… Enjoy your concert, Bas!
Now looky here, believe it or not, I actually have (sort of) a life outside the shattered prayer. Today I’ve been doing something spiritual that I can’t talk about on this blog, because obviously such things are a thread-killer. I’ve also been doing some techie stuff for moje. I’m late doing his back end (hehe)
Ah Bas, he goes to a concert every other night. I envy his concert-friendly locale.
Bas would be Wolverine, we all know R the P would be Rogue. (He actually said it at the Tahitimas celebration - “I look just like Rogue”…. uh… yeah). I suppose I’d be the chick who changes shape, since it sort of suits my gemini personality. Who would you be, Mojo?
Anyway, I’ll try to update the Prayer tonight. And finish up Mojo’s back-end. Bas, enjoy your concert; the rest of you, just enjoy.
Mojo would want to be Dark Pheonix! He’d want to do mutant and human ass kicking!
And just to clarify, I said my hair looked like Rogue’s. Not my body, Sugah! (For some reason that is what Rogue calls everyone in the comics. Took me forever to realice it was just the Yankee writer’s trying to mimic a Southern accect!)
Just back.. Great evening. Experimental film with experimental music it was. With some of the makers present! Really special.
So OK.. We have one, maybe two Dark Phoenixes.. brilliant! Wolverine.. that’s me..
And Just Rogues Hair?
Do you have a doodle feature on this blog Che? That way we could add little cartoons in turn!
And ehh Che.. I like your spiritual entries.
We all like your spiritual entries. Just wasn’t much to say about sea slugs.
The Rogue’s hair comment came from the fact I am finally getting grey hair. But it is just coming in in the center near the part. Hence Rogue hair. It really isn’t that noticeable, but I figured Rogue’s hair was in my future!