Loading ...I don’t practice Magick to entertain R the P. And the fact that he finds one of the most powerful of the Voodoo powers amusing is somewhat bothersome. But mostly I find R the P’s skepticism as amusing as he finds spiritual matters.
I was married to a skeptic for five years, and not the fun kind of skeptic like R the P. Pi had a way of sucking the joy, the life, the meaning out of anything. He was a psychic black-hole - anything mysterious, magickal or esoteric got pulled into that psychic void. Including me.
It was more than an intellectual stranglehold. I’m a Gemini, I think fast and argue faster and I can out-intellectual some of the most adamant skeptics. No, Pi had a dampening aura, and I found myself drained of all desire and ability to practice magick. In one of the most magickal places on earth, just up the street from stonehenge, I was spiritually impotent.
I tried very hard to make up for it in various ways. Overeating was one, but I couldn’t fill that void. He took the joy out of eating though - he hated restaurants (I love them) and would rarely go out to one. And his appreciation of food was limited and unsubtle. He was, after all, the inventor of Vegetable Matter.
After I got the cushy job and the good credit, I began collecting tarot cards. Another attempt to fill the spiritual void. But tarot had gone from being a living, fluid method of divination to a collection of cardboard that sat on my shelf. I would get a rush from a new acquisition (the rarer the better), but the rush didn’t last long.
5 years being sucked dry by a psychic leech takes a lot of effort to overcome. As a result I suppose I am more sensitive to skepticism these days. When skepticism becomes extreme, it is an unpleasant force to live with, takes on a potent life of its own.
I am recovering. Slowly. Sometimes I think all the stuff that has happened to me since my divorce is the universe’s attempt to shake me out of that energyless state of being. Its working.
But all that said, here’s a list of spiritual stuff that R the P can mock without risking making me irritable (or, if he wants to make me irritable, he can mock other stuff). The list is by no means extensive, but it will at least give him an idea of what sort of things are mockable:
1. American Fundamentalist Christians: What the fuck has happened to the former dignity of courageous Christians facing persecution and death by Lion? There is nothing dignified and courageous in the behavior of these rapid dumbasses these days. Christians in Burma are facing abuse, being driven from their homes. This is persecution, people. Persecution is NOT being told “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”. I say we start tossing these bastards to the Lions again and let them see what ‘persecution’ is all about.
2. Wiccans: I’m going to take some heat for this one, but talk about a bunch of squabbling little cunts. Squabble squabble squabble. Don’t believe me? Go to any Wiccan forum or chatroom and spend ten minutes there. These people cannot agree on anything. And the thing is, Wicca is supposedly a religion that is not organised and has no central body of authority, therefore they aren’t supposed to agree on anything. They should agree to disagree. But they can’t even do that. I used to be wiccan - coven, initiation, whole nine yards. It wasn’t just the squabbling that drove me away, but the karmic soap operas (you did such and such to me in a past life, and now I’m gonna….), the clothes (some men just shouldn’t wear kilts) and frankly, the whole earth-mother thing just leaves me cold. I’m not sure about this new trend of the ‘Wiccan next door’ thing either, where Wiccans are trying to gain mainstream acceptance by watering down their message for public consumption.
3. New Agers: Dear gods, where do I start? Why does one need to attend a 1200 dollar seminar to learn gratitude. Can’t you just fucking be grateful and get on with it, and use the money for a wide-screen TV or something? Now, I realise you can’t lump New Agers all together any more than you can lump Wiccans all together, but most of the New Age movements are about appropriating teachings from other cultures, watering it down and simplifying it, and selling it at an exhorbitant price. A new ager will sell you a lump of glass for 40 bucks. At least with the wiccans you can get taught for free, and the tools and ingredients cost little, if anything. A newage friend of mine once talked me into attending a channelling session by a relatively well-known channeller. I paid a ridiculous price to be told, “Buy a hoola-hoop.”. Thanks.
4. Discordians: They expect to be made fun of, and welcome your mockery. They’ll even make you a pope.
5. Scientologists: Mock them, but expect a law suit.
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Sunday, January 28th, 2007 at 10:29 am and is filed under mystical, noumenal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Whoa, Che. That was a heavy post. I actually had to think a little. As a (way)former christian, that doesn’t come easily to me. I appreciate the self-insight and honesty. Your description of your journey with Pi is not that uncommon, at least not in the generalities. In fact, the ‘dampener’ doesn’t even have to be a partner, it can be a job or a career choice, or grad school. I know that R the P and I have both suffered for some of our choices. Time will tell if the choices were worth the pain. Regardless, regrets don’t seem to help anyway.
R the P has many talents and one of them is mockery. I have known few people in my life with his level of mocking talent. Of course, I was instantly smitten. I had searched for years for someone who was cute, smart, and had (as I call it) The Talent. Along with the talent, though, this Aquarian also had the Skeptical Dogma. That was ok with me, cuz I had a bit of that myself after the let down that was christianity (and that is putting it very, very mildly).
Nowadays, I have reconnected somewhat with spirituality, though I cannot imagine ever reconnecting with religion. The Mockable Five you mentioned above, are definitely at the top of my list as well. In fact, one of the things reconnecting me is that I listen to NPR in the mornings on my long commute to work (stay with me here), and their science reporting has increasingly shown that our very best efforts have failed to explain many, many things about our universe. One report went so far as to say that some physicists believe that everything cannot BE knowable (as in, science knowable). That is merely to say that there are phenomena in the universe for which we have no explanation and no way of even understanding all the questions. So, I would prefer to think that maybe there is something to this spirituality thing. I don’t claim to know what it is, nor do I claim what I do is what anybody else should do. That’s something religions do to consolidate social power, which is kind of nasty and decidedly dull (if perhaps practical in a pedestrian sort of way).
Well, all that is just my long way of saying that I can understand both sides of the equation, from skeptical science types to spiritualists, though I do think one can be somewhere in the middle, if the whole skeptical part can be reigned in a bit.
Spoiled, whiney ‘christians’ and new agers, however, you will feel our wrath!!! (I just know they’re cowering under their $3,000 mahogany tables right now…
.
Oh my goodness! I am currently working (on a Sunday!! Christians everywhere will know I’m damned!) on a stupid survey for my job. I told myself that I would do it for 4 hours with no interruptions and at the end of the 4 hours, I would assess the need for more work today. I answered many work e-mails, and before I began the arduous trek that is survey construction, I decided to check the Shattered Prayer for a quick pick me up before I began my work.
And then I saw this post. I am taking a quick break in my survey construction (but added lost time on the end! I must make my self imposed deadline) to respond.
I am skeptical. And I do mock. I think that my mockery of things is something that drew both Che and Mojo to me. Christianity left me skeptical. Being a Southerner left me skeptical. All my life I was confronted with things that did not make sense. I saw people taking religion establishing power over other people. They were using it to bolster their own self-esteem and belittle others. To damn others.
I lived with a religion that said daily I was going to hell. I lived with people who talked about about the “goodness” in others — good people who I knew were racist to the core, who only valued the lives of white people. These dichotomies were horrifying and made me angry.
So I researched. I read their sacred texts cover to cover. I questioned them about the things inside that did not make sense. I started searching out other texts and traditions as well. I needed what I feel I always need — information. For heaven’s sake, my chosen profession is researcher! My knowledge bolstered my questioning and my anger and I cut all ties with religion. Religions of all types.
They just didn’t make sense to me. And that made me angry.
Angry is a state I seem to be in too much. I get angry quick and often. And I know that it is not a good place to be, and I know it is not healthy. So I turn my anger around into mockery, to comedy. To take the piss out of something is to take the power out of something.
But here is the thing. One of the things that drew me to both Che and Mojo was their spirituality. Not their religion, religion of ANY type leaves me cold, but their spirituality. They both seemed to have a deep connection to something larger than themselves. And I don’t mean god, I mean a connection to something that connects us to one another. They both are people who seek something beyond the immediate earth boundliness.
But, uncommonly, they do not seek to gain power over other people through that search. They don’t do it to become local popes.
I do mock, because it is what I do. But that mockery comes from a respect that is deepseated. My analytical and spiritual sides do fight it out, but I have both sides. I would never want to smother anyone else’s spiritual journey, if that journey is grounded in a sense of social justice and connectivity. Otherwise, sure, I will smother.
But my mockery could never smother Che and Mojo’s journey. I hope they know I respect them too much for that. And secretly think they may be right about the spiritual side of things. But I remain, as ever, skeptical.
Even having said that, Che and Mojo are, without doubt, the best two people on this planet. At least in my eyes.
Awww! How sweet, R the P…
I’m sorry to have written something that made you have to think, Mojo. I try not to do that. But I wanted to examine both sides of mockery.
Tis true, Richard’s capacity for mockery was one of the things that most attracted me in the beginning. Mainly because I have such a capacity for mockery. Especially toward the aforementioned groups.
The Trickster is an important archetype to me, and in this sense, jokes, amusement, mockery, laughter are all sacred. The Trickster’s jokes can be cruel at times. But I did want to explain that my “Journey from Pi” has and is a difficult one at times.
And don’t derive from this that Pi is a terrible person. He isn’t. Its not like he’s a psychic leech on purpose and I don’t hate him for it. I just think its better that he remain a thousand or so miles away.
Like Mojo, I find science very important and inspiring. I once read something, i think in a science magazine, and I wish I could reference it and I know I’m going to misquote, but it said that the universe is something like 3% knowable, 6% unknowable and 91% unimaginable. Something to that effect. Whatever the percentages, it really drove home just how mysterious and wonderful this universe is, despite such spoilsports and Jehovah and George Bush. Everything that science will ever be able to explain, is always going to be a tiny fraction of what is. Which is as it should be. I love science, and I don’t see science and spirituality in any way at odds, as long as science realises it doesn’t know everything, and never will.
Science is so annoying, always preaching at the big soirees on Mt Olympus. I mean, all I want to do is ogle the young hotties and have a few drinks and a maybe a nice chat with some of the older gods, but in marches Science with his white coat and bloody half-baked solutions to “”world problem”. Ugh - he’s such a bore. Of course, the party really gets started when Jehovah and his twin brother All*h show up, bossing everyone around, chiding Science, and talking about their “rules” and “true believers”. (Note that I can’t even spell out All*h’s name because he has his cronies so enthralled that merely implying something negative about that guy could result in serious problems for my readers. What a bunch of nutters!). At least Science seems to be a little less judgmental, but he’s so dull, you couldn’t care less.
Anyway, Zeus and the rest of the Old Ones now have to show up early to get a seat, what with all those newcomers taking up the VIP section and commanding all the attention. I keep telling them that their 15 minutes will be up soon, but they just brush me aside calling me a “crazy old baggage”. Of all the bloody cheek. Well, I can’t just sit here grousing; I have some galaxies to manage. Seems like Jehovah and All*h and all the rest of the New Ones are too busy working in customer service these days to bother with the really big issues. I guess I could put it off for another hour. I think it’s time for my tea.
-Marduk
You consider Zeus an \’old one\’?
Hahahahahaha…
-Cthulhu
WHAT’S THAT? YOU HAVE TO SPEAK UP A BIT; I’M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING ON MY HUMAN SIDE!
Woe.. Grr.. ZEUS
Well, I knew it was only a matter of time before we evoked the gods to the shattered prayer.
You’re right, Che. We should have known… And Zeus even has a website, and it’s the same as Bas’s! Bas, are YOU the mortal incarnation of Zeus?! Admit it, you are. That crane didn’t dare fall on you… Your wrath is to be feared!!! You can create full-grown women from your head! Oddly, you can become a farm animal to seduce women? Odd, but who am I to say?
Did I mention that the Netherlands is my favorite country and that Dutch men are the best?
(You can’t blame me for brown nosing; he’s a god)
He, he.. And the only dutch gods apperently seem to be involved in playing soccer; or so they think.
But thanks Mojo! You’re on my Tahitimas list!
By the way, it seems that almost any deity i could think of has DOT COM’med itself? For all your church surfing needs…
I’ve just deleted a serious comment i started to enter here..
It had a great line of thought. Depicting various sides to the idea of ‘belief’. With powerful imagery and analogies. Numerous leads to fruitful discussion and exchange of ideas.
It was DEAD boring. Thank the Gods for the Almighty Delete Button!!!!
My favorite myth about Zeus is the one in which there was an argument against discrimination against women. The women said that they were better than the men and the men said that they were better than the women. (no one said they were equal.)
The women almost won the argument because it was pointed out that they could give birth and men could not. But then, some guy (I forget who) said that the women did not win that point. Was it not true that Athena sprang full grown from the head of Zeus? Zeus, was, in fact, her mother. Therefore men could do everything that women could, and better — for was not Athena the greatest woman every born?
So, it was decided women should get back in the kitchen and quit their yapping, and that men would continue to hold all the power in Greece.
Gee, thanks, Greece. Beautiful climate and scenery and all, but really: They could have done better.
Bas, I know what you mean about that delete button. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and use it more often… I’m just glad I made your Tahitmas list. You may not be a soccer god (the US is one of the few major countries that has NO soccer/futbol gods), but we think you’re great anyway :-)
Like many gods, soccer gods are overrated, particularly when they’re self-appointed.
Ahh… Female/male democracy.. Always difficult with a 50/50 vote in a democracy.
And please enjoy the fact you are safe from soccer mania in the US Mojo. From work to home i often have to pass the crowds at the FC Utrecht stadium.. Not a nice sight. Drunken mayhem, police. I once had to argue my way through a heated skirmish line to get home.
(Key is to switch allegiance near the police post in the middle.. and smile a lot. That last ploy confuses the hell out of any supporter.)
Good heavens, Bas. All that soccer mania is just silly. We do something similar here with American Football, but it’s not a fully sampled group. It’s a select group of nutters primarily. Frankly, these people need to get a grip on reality, IMHO. That said, I like your tactics of switching allegiances when convenient. Are you related to a politician?
Hi, hi!! Now you mention it… I made that sound like the politicians way..
Mmm.. My uncle is one.. Fantastic inside gossip you get from him!!
I’ve had to punch my way through a bunch o’ footie fans in England on occasion. Ugh. Talk about the lowest, most crass element of society. Anyone who thinks England is a polite, civilised country hasn’t been in the streets after a football (read: soccer) game.
My Uncle is a politician too! He’s the mayor of a one-horse town in the middle of kaolin-land. When I say ‘one horse town’, I really mean thats all it has in it. One horse. The horse doesn’t even have a stable. It sort of just stands around, waiting for something to happen.
My favourite myth about Zeus was the one where he fell from the heavens and crashed into the South Pacific, somewhere near Easter Island, to lie slumbering for thousands of years before he one day rose to menace humankind with his enormous tentacles…. oh wait… no, thats Cthulhu.
I hate to say it, but Cthulhu has always sounded like a quaint old timey board game to me.
“Yes, dears, I had the absolute most smashing time today. First it was a round of Mah Jong, followed by a ripping game of Morelles, and then on to Chthulhu before tea. Mind you, I always trip over the tentacles!”
“I know what you mean, Dearie! Now how about quick games of Aunt Sally and Bagatelle before we shove off home from the pub?”
Don’t mean to make fun of Old Cthulhu, but it is always what I think about when I hear the word.