Loading ...I found out today it would take near-bouts 3000 Reese’s Cups to kill me. This is a theory I would like to test one day.
I am supposed to die in a horrible ceiling-fan accident, but since the Nightstalker decided to steal my modus mortui, I might opt for something more original. Death by Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups…
mmmmm…. Reese’s Cups….
Speaking of candy, Valentine’s Day is coming up. One of the many holiday’s I try really hard not to celebrate. I’m thinking of renaming it Tahitine’s Day. Easter becomes Tahister. Mardi Gras becomes… nah… we’ll leave Mardi Gras the same. Its one holiday that is worth celebrating.
But when there is a child living in your immediate vicinity, one tends to get sucked into celebrating holidays one would rather not. (ie, said child wants you to BUY them things.). Kaitlin asked me to buy her a Harry Potter book. I can’t really object to that - I’m happy to do what I can to lead her innocent soul into the foul and nefarious practices of witchcraft and demonolatry. Now… could someone give me the title of the first book?
And speaking of Tahitimas. Las Vegas has a resort called Tahiti village, so if we can’t make it to Tahiti, perhaps we could go to Las Vegas. I’ve already lost everything I own in a divorce, a hurricane and a FEMA-related disaster. This time, I want to lose everything doing something fun. And what happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas. Kind of a shame really. If I’m going to get up to something crazy and sinful, I want to at least blog about it. I hope Las Vegas doesn’t make me sign a confidentiality agreement.
So what’ll it be, folks? Tahiti? Las Vegas? Or should we all just invade the Netherlands, smoke lots of dope and wear grass skirts?
Buy me a beer!
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In the UK, the first Harry Potter Book was “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.” The US publishers thought that no one in the US was educated enough to what what the Philospher’s Stone was and that no one would buy a book about philosophy (sigh) so they changed the title to “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”
Sigh. Again.
When they filmed the movie, they had to film all the scenes in which reference was made to the Stone twice so that in the UK you would get the correct reference, and in the US you would get the “you people are so dumb-assed that you have to change the stupid name so as not to overextend yourself” reference.
And I’ve been to Vegas. Didn’t care that much for it. I vote for the Netherlands! But I am sure Bas would disagree.
I just discovered it would take 4 times as many regular Hershey bars to kill me than it would Hershey Special Dark.
No wonder I like Special Dark so much more.
Poor New Orleans! I just read that a tornado hit the area and headed straight for the few FEMA trailers that were actually delivered. You can’t make this stuff up.
I vote for the Netherlands myself.
Run, Bas Run! (Our version of Run, Joey, Run - anyone remember that song. You shouldn’t really. Just like you should remember Walter Egan’s Magnet and Steel. But for some reason, there they are, stuck in my head)
And I can see it now. We arrive in the Netherlands. Bas is in Tahiti.
I like special dark too. Leave it to us to prefer the deadlier chocolate.
And everyone knows tornados always head for the trailer parks. Its a scientific fact.
I vote Netherlands even if Bas will be in Tahiti. We will miss you Bas.
Special Dark Suicide. Isn’t that a band?
If it ain’t, it should be.
If you were royalty perhaps you could kill your ruler in the best possible way: You could have Reese’s Cup Regicide. (Can you tell I’ve been working on my dissertation for too long?!)
New Reese’s Regicide, routing rulers repeatedly.
Reese’s Regicide, ridding rabble’s rotten rulers.
I ehh.. I’ve really got my eyes on Boston now
Nice and revolutionairy: Let’s throw a Boston Tea Party! What’s the leathal dose on tea?
I heared this Florida radio prgram had a contest where people had to drink as much water as they could hold down. A woman died in that. OD’ed on water.
I’d like to OD on chocolate. Any day. It’s Inca food. Xocolaltl! And the Incas had a way in dramatic deaths.
Hey, but the Netherlands is just like the US. And smoking weed is so common. I was at a theater show tonight and in the break the popped outside for a joint.. I mean.. Yawn.
Let’s do Vegas. But let’s do it our way… Hmm.. I don’t know.. But i think peeing Mercedeces is a nice mondain starter.
Then we throw thousands of decks of cards in the poker rooms. Take a pee shooter and add some extra winning chances to the roulette wheels…
3000 Reeces’ Cups. Noted.. Next Valentine
3014.4 Kit Kat bars and I’m a dead man. Somehow, I doubt I’d get anywhere near that mark before I wished death upon myself. Or before I repainted my walls, a la the ‘cherries scene’ in Witches of Eastwick (what?! I had to watch it. It’s required watching for homos!).
R the P, are you practicing your alliteration on me?!
Bas, you have QUITE an imagination for what we should do in Vegas. Frankly, your ideas sound better than anything else I’ve seen about Vegas…
PS - Too many Catholics in Boston, so that one’s out, but a modern day tea party could prove interesting. Unfortunately, reactionary Bostonians will have the anti-t3rrorism squads on our asses in about 2 seconds, especially if any of the teas have blinking lights…
Repeating R’s? Righto!
Regicide Reese’s responds re: rotten rulers.
Repent, Regal Rapscallion!
Reject royal rigidity!
Relinquish religious regal regime!
Re-embrace riff-raff rights!
Rescind roadblocking roguery!
Refuse? Receive repercussions.
Relish recidivism? Rue relentlessness!
Run! Retreat! Renounce!
Refurbish!
Refresh!
Regenerate!
I’m quite sure I can’t top Richard’s R Ranting, so I won’t even try.
As a side note on our vacation location choice, Bas, I think you’ll find the Netherlands is not very much like the US on many things. Note just one of many reports detailing the positives of the Netherlands vs. say, the US and UK:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6359363.stm
Sad but true.
Reprehensible!
Point taken..
That’s the one thing -and a rare thing for me- that gets me pissed off.. Mistreatment of children. I really dig UNICEF.
Children are mostly happy in the Netherlands. And still one hundred thousand are maltreated every year in our little country.
One-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero. 100000.
In a 16 million people country.
I got near to tears when i read that.
And now where top on the list of being best to our children. Oh boy.
Ehhh… Did that blow a fuse somewhere?
FFFF…FFFFF… Testing!
That is the way of the Shattered Prayer. It has a reverse psychic field. Whenever I am down and think the SP can cheer me up–silence. When I feel fine–lots of posts!
Hah… That was your psychic field sending out ‘down’ then Richard?!
Freaking New Moon. Bummer. But it’s the beginning of the Chinese New Year on Suday as i understand. Year of the Pig. And that’s supposed to bring fortune and a turn on setbacks. Or maybe that’s only for pigs; not sure about that..
Anyhow… Oink, Oink! Knor, knor!
Work’s got me down. But things could be improving. As you see, chatter is up on Shattered Prayer, so things can only get better.
All those pigs can’t be wrong.
I’ve been a little down too, which is why I haven’t been too chatty. I post, but I realise I haven’t been too chatty. I hope you’re feeling better Richard, its the year of the pig. (tomorrow).
Yes the year of the pig is a good year for wealth, but this is the year of the fire pig. If you’ve never seen a pig on fire, let me tell you, they can be damned destructive. We’re supposed to be seeing some earthquakes and volcanoes and sunspots and and early spring-forward time change thats going to throw our computers into disarray just like Y2K.
Then again, a pig on fire can be mighty tasty. Perhaps it is the year of the luau. Tahiti, here we come.
And getting back to the original theme of the post, has anyone seen that commercial claiming that Hershey’s special-dark is high in anti-oxidants and is actually good for you? Mmmm… yeah, lets just keep telling ourselves that, shall we?
I know that Special Dark is supposed to be good for you. Whenever I am trying to lose weight, I think “I’ll just get the Special Dark. It is good for you.” Which is why the trying to lose weight doesn’t seem to work.
And I’m sorry that you have been feeling down. I’m feeling down because my boss is an ass. He has just been abusive. But things may change soon. I recently found out that he is an ass to everyone and has been for years. So now that I know that he acts this way to everyone, I am just going to leave. I’m looking for a new job. Not the most exciting thing in the world let me tell you. Maybe that year of the pig will find me a better job with lots of money. Maybe a job looking at hurricane, volcanoes, earthquakes, and sunspots. It’ll keep me busy this year!
And I hope you feel better too, Che. Maybe I’ll find a job for both of us that pays billions!
Tahitimas with fire-roasted pig, it is! Delicious…
Sorry for both of you that you’re feeling ‘poorly’ as we said growing up. Maybe if we had that luau, it would feel better. Perhaps if we could win the current megamillions lottery, we’d feel a LOT better. I could probably make do with $150 million smackers. Too bad about that whole statistics problem…
Well, you should know about the statistics, Mojo. Lemme tell’ya, the odds of winning poker against an 8 year old are MUCH better than the odds of winning the lottery, as I learned to night. I’m up a whole six bucks.
Anyone get the distinct feeling I’m the ‘bad-influence’ auntie?
As Homer Simpson would say…
…mmmmmmm….. fire pig.
Che, taking poor KK for six bucks — at POKER?! Well, it is a life lesson for her not to mess with experienced folks when it comes to card games. Plus, you do provide ‘conversation time’ every day for her, and time is money. You’re right, though: The stats are much better for beating your kid-aged niece at poker versus winning the lottery. Unfortunately, the payoff isn’t the same, but hey, a bird in the hand and all that.
Mmmmm…. fire pig….
And Bas, I’m a bit behind here, but in response to your comment on UNICEF, yes they are awesome. While our kids in the US have some catching up to do with the more civilized countries, they still have access to basic medical care, clean water, clothes, and an education (well, technically, at least). Many thousands of kids in other less developed countries do not have access to these important necessities. That’s why I donate to UNICEF, especially since they do such a good job with getting the donations directly to those affected. It’s a great charity, and if I could win that lottery, lots more would go to them.
OK, off my soapbox now… just had to respond about one of my pet projects!
Hey, I don’t want to hear it - KK get 6 times the allowance I did when I was her age. She can afford it.
Anyway, I intend to use the money on her so it all works out, and yes, she did learn a lesson about poker. My grandma taught me to play poker when I was five. Now… I’m passing on this important hereditary knowledge to a younger generation. I’m glad these youngsters today are interested in the wisdom of their elders.
I’m all for life lessons involving poker. I tended bar for my father from a very young age. Back in the 1970s this wasn’t considered child abuse, it was considered important knowledge all kids should have for their futures. What makes that scotch and water good? How much scotch? How much water? Get in there and fix my drank!
Based on subsequent experience the only ratio that makes scotch and water good is 100% water and 0% Scotch. But that’s just me.
The only ratio that makes scotch and water good is 100% scotch and 0% water, but thats just me.
There are times when scotch and water is a necessity. My neighbors got me wankered on it during hurricane Ivan. For Cindy, it was half a Soma and a shot of tequila. For Katrina, it was rum and coke.
But thats a fine lesson for you to learn, Richard. I was around 9 or 10 when I learned how to make a gin and tonic, and that Germans make pretty good beer. Those were the good ole days, when our families could teach us the necessities of life, like gambling and boozing, without a flock of social-workers descending on our homes.
I do like Rum and coke, but Scotch and Gin (or the crack of the 1700s as it used to be known) do nothing for me. Too manly I guess. Gin tastes like pine needles! Although I used to drink Beefeater Martinis very dry straight up with a twist (a lesbian in graduate school got me drinking those). It was like drinking a glass of pine perfume, but it would get you drunk really fast.
Whereas my dad was a beer and Scotch kind of guy, my mother loved her Margaritas. She and my aunt would fix several pitchers of Margaritas and go out on the beach, slap on the baby oil, get some sun cancer and drink like tomorrow was never coming. I think I take after my mother in some very important ways.
Today’s kids just don’t learn these lessons! To this day, my parents will introduce a new card game they’ve learned whenever we see them. And money is going to exchange hands!
Gambling and boozing. Oh to be a child of the 70s! Who wouldn’t put up with no hair conditioner, clothes that would ignite and melt onto your body, bell bottoms that tripped you up whenever you walked, and children’s toys made of broken glass and asbestos just to grow up during that magical period between Nixon and Reagan!
Hey! And don’t you forget the great efforts towards global warming in the 70ies!
Sunshine and booz… Way of the future!
And thanks to reverend Che at least KK now knows how to secure a wealthy future
Ohh.. And there really are plenty anti-oxidants in chocolate!
Ever tried chocolate and Scotch? Heaven. Pure heaven. I think the chocolate keeps the alcohol from burning or something.
And while the profitablity (is that english?!) of change might be disputed.. In your case, Richard… go for it. Happy hunting.
Mojo… Love your soapbox!
And Che. MMMPPPFFF… To the earthlings: that’s mind-to-mind conversation taking place