Loading ...LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Activists in the Pacific
Northwest have sometimes resorted to extreme measures in their efforts
to end the clear-cutting of old-growth forests. Among the most creative
has been a woman named Dona Nieto, also known as La Tigresa. She has on
occasion planted herself half-naked in front of marauding lumberjacks
bearing chainsaws and bulldozers, stopping them in their tracks with
the sight of her bare breasts and regaling them with her
“Goddess-based, nude Buddhist guerrilla poetry.” She’s your role model,
Libra. Let her inspire you to be original, experimental, and funny as
you fight for a righteous cause that rouses your zealous idealism. It
could be political in nature, as in La Tigresa’a case, or it could be
personal, as in lobbying a loved one for more focus and intensity.
Thats Bas’ horoscope this week on Free Will Astrology. Yes, Bas, this week, we want to see you throwing yourself naked in front of some trees and bellowing poetry at advancing lumberjacks. But… uh… you’d better watch your bits around those chainsaws.
My own horoscope reads thusly:
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Lord, grant that I may
always desire more than I can accomplish,” prayed Michelangelo. He
exulted in the feeling of having too much to express. He thrived on the
stimulus of his delicious frustration; he used the inspiring sting of
his nagging inadequacy as a fuel for his boundless creativity. Are you
willing to experiment with this approach, Gemini? Do you have the nerve
to love what’s imperfect about your life? Are you brave enough to laugh
at the probability that your yearning will never be completely
fulfilled?
And while I’m no Michelangelo, I do understand the vast yearnings of a mad creativity. The problem is not the yearning, the problem is, this world isn’t exactly friendly to the creative. I get the feeling that if Michelangelo were alive today, he wouldn’t be for long. He would die, hungry and alone in a gutter somewhere, or in a FEMA trailer, a few damp sketches clutched in his sweaty, feverish palm. Or he’d work at Wal-mart for minimum wage, unable to afford decent health-care or paints or a chisel, and arrive home every night too tired to produce a creative thought. He’d soak his feet, drink a beer, and wish he lived in some other time, in some other place, where beauty and creativity were appreciated. Renaissance Italy, perhaps. He’d dread tomorrow.
Mojo’s horoscope says:
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian philosopher
Jonathan Zap reports that the typical adult has a mood change once
every 90 minutes. According to my reading of the omens, you’ve been
below that average for the past few weeks, lumbering along at only a
few emotional shifts per day. But that will soon be history, as your
hormones conspire with cosmic rhythms to send you spiraling upwards to
the levels usually experienced only by people in the 13-18 age range:
one mutation every 20 minutes or so. Don’t worry. It won’t last
forever. And it could even be great fun if you love, respect, and
celebrate your inner teenager.
Mojo, with overactive teen hormones. I’ll let R the P handle that one. And speaking of R the P, here’s his horoscope:
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s not completely dumb
to sell your soul to the highest bidder for a while. And it’s an
all-right time to entertain iffy prospects for increasing your cash
flow or to work hard to make your boss rich (as long as you get a
percentage). But just because it’s an OK time to do these things
doesn’t mean you should do them. Consider this: It’s an even more favorable time for you to temporarily rent your good ideas to the highest bidder, to strike a deal with proven powerhouses that you know can increase your earnings, and to work your ass off in behalf of your own dreams.
Got no clue what thats about, but I’ve always been in the market for souls. Usually cheap, very sinful souls. Like Weasel’s. I suspect R the P’s soul is out of my price range, now that he’s a fine, upstanding professional sort who doesn’t sin nearly as much as he used to, unless you count unclean thoughts as sins, which I reckon some folks do.
So according to Rob, this week I’ll be dying in the gutter from an overdose of creativity, Bas will be nude in the forest, and R the P will be pursuing his dreams and dealing with Mojo’s wild hormones. It could be a very interesting week.
Don’t forget to post pictures, Bas.
Buy me a beer!
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Comments
This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 at 9:25 pm and is filed under mystical. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Three air signs! (and a fire sign feeding off our blather!)
Two mutables, a cardinal, and a fixed!
What a group we are.
(Two mutables, a cardinal, and a fixed walk into a blog . . .)
Although Rob usually just takes a shot of tequila and drops whatever he can on the page, I AM tired of chasing after other people’s dreams and getting fairly well paid, but COMPLETELY unfulfilled doing it.
I know, I know. . . What a white guy problem. Whoa is me! I make a lot of money, but I really want to paint poetry on the wind!
But it really is soul draining sometimes.
‘Whoa’ is you, RtP? Is that a Freudian slip or did you mean ‘Woe’ is me? Interesting… We’ll have to come up with some ways to recharge your waning soul, R. You need a full soul, by jeebus!
Bas, I would pay good money for those lumberjack-halting photos of you! Sounds very, um, earthy.
Thanks Che for those interesting comments on Rob’s, er, ‘analyses’. What an interesting if completely bizarre person Rob is.
Wahaaa!!! Oh Rob.. It takes a position of selfawareness to judge if it is favourable to go around naked to make a point…
I mean, if you’re godlike in appearance it for sure will get your point accross; how ever ridiculous.
Ehh.. that’s marketing isn’t it?
My selfawareness says i’d be challenging the lines of decent exposure even before i could make a statement of any nature.
What a whealth of uncommon sense again in these horscopes.. I really, really like Robs’ edifications!!
What’s this all on air and fire signs Richard? And mutuables.. cardinal… fixed..
Have pity on the total sign ignorance of this naked crusing Crusader
Thanks for sharing Che. That Michelangelo reference was way spot on by Robbie.
I wouldn’t want to link the generosity of FEMA to that of the Medici…
Of crusing for lumberjacks for me then i guess! (You’d never want to pay for pictures of THAT Mojo! But thanks for the generous thought!)
Whoa! Woe is me.
Freudian slip. Ha ha ha. “Whoa is me” means stop it all ready!
I’ve been taking steps today to try to make my work more interesting. We’ll see if it recuperates from this.
Bas, I think the statement is even more intense if the body is not like a God! You may run the risk of the lumberjack thinking “OH! how hideous! Cut it to pieces!” but you also may have them running away so they don’t have to see the naked body.
Not saying that you would cause them to go running — just thinking of marketing.
But I imagine it is more of a case of people who protect trees would be likely to be able to “Feel their essential oils flowing!” and be more likely to run about sans kit!
I also liked the image of Michaelangelo in the modern times! ($1000 for a comic book!? Who drew it? Michael malangelo? — Homer Simpson). But it does lead to a very sad image of Che sitting in Macon with a pink beer.
Bas, Che will school me on this, and will probably point out that the sun sign is only a small portion of the horoscope and not even the most interesting one, but
Libra (you), Gemini (Che), and Aquarius (me) are all air signs. You can either be air, water (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), earth (Capricorn, Taures, Virgo), or fire signs like Sagitarius (Mojo). The other two fire signs are Leo and Aries.
Vaguely air signs are intellilgent, earth signs are grounded, water signs are emotional, and fire signs are adventurous. (How’s that for oversimplification, Che. Feel free to become angry at any moment)
Signs can also be mutable (Gemini, Sagitarius, Virgo, Pisces), fixed (Aquarius, Taurus, Scorpio, Leo) or Cardinal (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn). Basically, Cardinal signs begin a season (winter, summer, spring, fall), Fixed signs come at the height of the seasons, and mutable signs come at the end (or the change) of a season.
Mutable signs are therefore adaptable, fixed signs are (ahem) rigid, and Cardinal signs are named after a red bird.
No, really, Cardinal signs are ambitious, but without much follow through.
It is the dummy version of the Western Sun Signs!
Spot on lecture for this star sign dummy. Cheers Richard!
Airy Rigid it is!!
Sounds like a spark plug..
Or a cookie…
Stiff drink?
Mmmm… Airy Rigid. I’m going to have to create such a cocktail. In the blender of course.
I swear when R the P said “Whoa is me”, I thought it a purposeful pun. And it was merely a freudian slip. You’re losing your edge there R the P.
And sure, its a white-guy dilemma, but its one I understand. And in this society ‘pursuit of happiness’ is equated with ‘pursuit of money’, and if you interprest ‘pursuit of happiness’ any other way, you’re evil, unpatriotic, and a moral deficient. But hell, we’re all evil, unpatriotic and morally deficient anyway, so we may as well go all the way and do some dream-following. However, let me assure you, dream-following isn’t easy, and often results in homelessness, hunger, and other people thinking you’re evil and morally deficient.
I hope you find your bliss, R the P, and that it pays really well.
It is this soul draining job that makes me lose my punny edge! Although many would say that losing an ability to pun would be a good thing.
The money thing is also so varied too. If you have money, you can make more money. Your money will work for you, but this is only true of people who come from people who have money. They know all the tricks of the trade. People like Mojo and me who come from working class (who moved to middle class) backgrounds, don’t know those tricks. Therefore, you often get in so much debt to make your money that you might as well not make anything!! Almost every bit of what we earn goes to pay off debt accrued in the pursuit of our Ph.D. dreams.
To all those readers out there thinking of getting a Ph.D. Don’t bother. It ain’t what you think it is.
And also, living in New York City is really expensive. Not London expensive, but expensive.
And I know that dream pursuing can be equally unfulfilling. I too hope that you find your bliss and that it pays well too. Too bad you and I didn’t buy those winning $300 million lottery tickets, one in my state and one in yours!
And I guess my dummies guide to the western Zodiac passed enough muster to go without corrections!
My airy rigidity likes that.
Hey, you’d all try to steer clear of evil and morally dificient when you win 300M$.
You’d probably go around pink and Budweisered. Just for the lack of dreams to pursue..
And you would have to worry about things like getting the Mercedes in before dark…
I hope you dream of Tahiti next, Che..
Just have a look at this map:
http://www.thetahititraveler.com/maps/world.asp
How much would Tahiti cost?
R the P pointed out that it wouldn’t do us any good to have a Mercedes, because Che would just pee on it anyway.