(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
Loading ...Its kicks off this Friday with a ribbon-cutting ceremony, the torment of endangered animals (trained Bengal tigers. They’re tigers! They want to hunt, maim, eat and fuck. They don’t want to ‘romp playfully’ for the entertainment of a gathering of hicks and their inbred children), a Gospel concert (who’d a thunk it?) and an Elvis impersonator. Dear gods.
On Saturday there’s a pink pancake breakfast, a pet fashion show, a kid’s cemetery stroll (thats right, kiddies, one day you’ll end up here too!), a downtown bed race, and a country music concert.
Sunday we’ve got the Cherry Blossom Worship Service. I’m not sure, but I don’t think they’ll be worshiping Cherry Blossoms. If they were, I might actually attend, just for the novelty of it. But its actually being held at a Methodist church, and celebrates “love beauty and international friendship”. Sounds really… really…… zzzzzzzzz…..
Also on Sunday is an outdoor youth choir concert. Golly, as if that church service weren’t exciting enough! And after the choir concert, its the….
Kaleidescope of Cultures! Which is described as “an evening of multicultural delights!” featuring unique performances from the “honoured countries, Greece, Japan, Republic of China (Taiwan), and the United Kingdom”. Gosh, I really hope the UK performers sing the Monty Python lumberjack song.
Thursday is a children’s choir concert, and 80’s night with a Bon Jovi cover band.
Sigh.
The following Friday is ‘fun and fellowship’ at Ingleside Baptist Church. Or for the more sinfully inclined, Casino Night, with country music and pink cowboy hats.
The next day is another pink pancake breakfast, and a Mustang show. The car, not the horse. There’s a passion play where we can see the story of Easter (the Christian story with the undead Jesus, not the REAL story with fertility festivals, pagan gods and rutting bunnies), and the infamous street-party where the lowest common denominator gathers to listen to bands you’ve never heard of and get into drunken street-brawls.
And the final Sunday features an interdenominational worship service (which I’m sure includes only Christian denominations), a children’s parade, a military appreciation concert and an ‘international food fair’ sponsored by Piggly Wiggly. Can any of us imagine for one moment Piggly Wiggly putting on an international food fair? I’m thinking La Choy frozen dinners and some Swanson swedish meatballs.
And the worst thing about the CBF is - all the fucking pink. All I have to say is - into the blender.
Buy me a beer!
If you enjoyed this article please with your favourite bookmarking tool, or donate to assist with site maintenence and to keep tarot readings free. Thanks!
Email this post to a friend
928 Views
Recently:
- Story a Day: Beggars Would Ride
- Story a Day: Born Into Light
- Story a Day: Deep Fried Moose
- Story A Day: Roscoe Falls Reflections
- Story A Day, or Thereabouts
- Happy Birthday Bas!
- Night: not just for sleeping anymore.
- Lads of the Legion
- The quality of light at sunset.
- Ladies of the Legion II
Comments
This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 at 10:16 pm and is filed under fanatical. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Did they choose Piggly Wiggly because the Pig on the logo is pink?
Ah the delight of TWO pink pancake breakfasts in one week!
Ahhh… I get it! It’s a good, well thought out, family affair! Educational and recreational. I think we have those festivals too. I’ve been reading about it.
For the moment we celebrate the early spring with riots here in Utrecht. Police have shot a man dead -very rare here- and subsequently there’s been many rough nights. And people arrested (135!) just come from everywhere. Now that’s popular!
Utrecht Spring Riot Festival. No pink. Just drunken recreational mayhem…
Well i suggest putting both in the blender. And see what comes out.
Human nature cocktail anyone?
For sure some greenish-brown frothing concoction…
With all the cherry blossoms I’m thinking it would be more of a dirty pink concoction.
And Bas, no rioting. You’re supposed to be naked in the forest this week.
They should dye the Ocmulgee pink!
I mean, it is brown right now. And the pink dye would probably kill whatever fish were in it. And you can’t really see the river from downtown.
But if Savannah can dye the Savannah River green for St. Patrick’s Day, Macon should go pink. Since they happen at the same time, it would be like they would the preppy 80s cities.
Che, the CBF just sounds like a miserable middle-America crapfest. I’m sorry you have to be anywhere remotely near that. And pink as a festival theme is just terrible. I’m a little nauseated just thinking about it.
I think we should just use the acronym but secretly rename the festival so we can laugh furtively at them. I propose the Christian Bullshit Festival. That definitely goes in the blender.
If I ever see a pink river, I’m calling the EPA, or better yet, Greenpeace (both are scary in different ways, but better than pink rivers!).
Bas, Wij willen die foto’s zien…
Hi, hi!! Mojo, rustig jongen, rustig!!
I could go and throw myself naked at the policemen at the riot? Spraying them pink?
If you’re considering dyeing Ocmulgee.. I’ve got 10lbs of ‘Uranine’ at work. That colors water ‘radioactive yellow’. Mad scientist glowing yellow! 10 lbs would go a long way on a river.
And it lights up under black light.
Never tried it in a cocktail.. now that would be fun! Yellow glowing teeth in the disco!
Hey Che! Why don’t you start an alternate version of a Cherry Blossom Festival in Macon! A tradition has to start somewhere?
Tahitimas Sunflower Rave…
Daffodil Berserker Celebration?
(People running around naked, armed with chainsaws, hacking away at daffodils and everything turning yellow…
Just a thought.
Apollonian Laurel-wreath oracle-fest. Grape-blossom bacchanal (thats today anyway). Steel Magnolia vapor-fest and man-bash. First annual Wisteria celebration and Monster Truck Rally. The Azalea melee.
CBF - Christian Bullshit Festival. Good one Mojo. There does seem to be an over-abundance of christian events on the schedule. But that apron-decorating contest beats all. I’m tempted to go to that one just out of morbid curiosity. I have to know what sort of people actually wake up in the morning and feel compelled to attend such a thing (people like me, maybe, with morbidly curious minds)
Please do go to the Apron decorating contest and then post a picture of your creation on the Shattered Prayer!
It is up to you whether or not you’ll being wearing said apron in the picture.
If I were down there, I’d go with you, just out of morbid curiosity.
Of course, when I lived down there, nothing could have gotten me to go!