Loading ...Mother’s day is coming up, isn’t it? Well crap. I’m not sure why people who have performed the biological function of squeezing another human being through their loins should be given a whole day. I submit that instead of Mother’s Day, we have Breederless Day, to celebrate those of us who have shown the restraint of keeping our eggs to ourselves, and also for the men who have commited the sin of casting their seed upon barren ground. Repeatedly.
Because here at SP, if there’s one thing we like, its sinnin’.
So Breederless Day is on the 13th of May, and don’t forget Mercuralia is on the 15th. Thats the day offerings of chocolate chip cookies are made to Mercury, via his priestess.
Other proper offerings:
- Dice, lottery tickets (for the aspect of God of Luck)
- Cellphones, stationary, computers (for the aspect of God of Communication)
- Automobiles (especially Mercurys), airline tickets, world cruises (for the aspect of the God of Travel and crossing of borders)
- Money, Goods (for the aspect God of Commerce)
- Magical paraphernalia (for the aspect of the Hermetic God)
The sacred libation of Mercuralia is Goldschlager. Just seems right.
And it wouldn’t be right if SP’s new look wasn’t celebrated with a blender recipe. So here’s the recipe for a Frozen Golden Delicious:
- 1 Cup Apple Juice
- 1/2 Cup Soda
- 1 handful crushed ice
- 2 shots Goldschlager
Put juice, soda and ice into blender and blend until frosty smooth. Then add the Goldschlager and blend on low for just a second - enough to thoroughly mix but not so much that is macerates the gold. Pour and garnish with a cinnamon stick. Enjoy.
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Saturday, April 28th, 2007 at 9:21 am and is filed under edible, fanatical. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Hmmm, I’ll have to add Mercuralia to my calendar and make of note of the proper gifts to present to the high priestess.
Breederless Day! A tribute to contraceptives and Onanism!
God: “Damn it, Onan! What did you do?”
Onan: “I spilled my seed, O Lord.”
God: “Me Damn it, Onan! That shit is precious! From now on, it must go INTO a proper receptacle! Are you listening to me, Onan? Onan? For my future son’s sake, Onan, are you jacking off while I’m talking to you?”
Onan: “Um. No.”
Oh my god!
This is hilarious.
Here, in its entirety, as performed by Lego people, is the story of Onan.
http://www.thebricktestament.com/genesis/er_and_onan/gn38_01.html
O M G, that is hilarious! That whole site is awesome. Reminds me of _Ken’s Guide to the Bible_ ! Funny stuff.
I know! And the guy said that over 200 churches from around the world asked if they could use his Lego illustrations in their Sunday School!
“And now, kids, the story of how Lot’s daughters got him drunk and slept with him. Johnny, you get the lights!”
I know… I can see how stupid christians would think this is totally fine, but he’s totally poking fun, even if he’s gentle about it. Love the Noah’s Insobriety story and The Flood which has great visuals for the flood itself.
Too funny!
I laughed out loud at the three horses behind Noah going “Two?” when God tells Noah bring two of every animal on the ark.
Yes! Me too… The Lego pieces on the ‘water’ were hilarious too.
The Flood story is hilarious. All those corpses on the ground when they come out of the ark!
Priceless.
I know. The whole thing is TOO funny! They just show what a bunch of damn nonsense the bible is.
Well, back to work for me…
Keep going until you get to the page with the Law. It is hilarious. I especially love God enjoying a cup of coffee over the bones of the person who ate bacon and eggs and was then cursed with marriage, mildew, madness, and munching on his children’s limbs.
I haven’t laughed so loud in a long time. Those Laws are hilarious!
They even mention Dracula.
It also shows you how impossible it is to follow all the laws in the Bible.
I have to leave the computer. It has been a long time since the Bible has been enjoyable to me, but this is just hilarious.
I was just reading the story of the stoning of Stephen. (You picked the wrong place to spew your anti-Semitic filth!) Oh my. Must leave the computer before I died from laughing.
So many stories to go through, but so little time… As an aside, check out the FAQ. The last answer is funny.
http://www.thebricktestament.com/faq/index.html
I almost fell out of my chair at this short, pithy summary of the bible’s law about following your own moral compass:
http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_law/following_your_own_moral_compass/dt29_19.html
Just got back from late lunch/early dinner with the family (whole scary story in itself), and discovered this hilarity. That page is brilliant! I especially love ‘The Law’.
Yeah that one is great! I needed a good laugh this afternoon.
Now this is art.
Yes, it’s awesome! Love this stuff…
If the bible were written like this in the first place, I might’ve been more interested in it.
Praise the Interweb! I just looked up Onan and was taken to this brilliant site.
Hours of fun ahead as I reacquaint myself with the cherished Bible stories of my youth.
Great site that!! And way more graphic even then ‘Ken’s Guide to the Bible’!
My mom’s on vacation in France.. I’m sure she’s having a winey great time there