Loading ...Hell just opened up and spit out a big-ass storm upon the town today. One moment it was sunny and bright, the next moment, constant lightening, the loudest most incessant thunder you’ve ever heard, high winds, and torrential rain. Then the lights went out.
Okay, it happens.
The electricity went out around 4, then around 5, the storm stopped. And the sun came out. And the heat rose to a muggy high 90s. And we had no air-conditioner.
Let me tell you folks, the thin veneer of civilization that barely shrouds our barbaric sides can be melted away by high temperatures and no air-conditioning.
I was very short-tempered and snappy. I’m sure no one is surprised by that. KK was horrified to have no TV. And I was sneeringly dismissing her TV-less despair until I realised - gasp! - I might miss Dr Who.
I tried to read and ignore everyone, but KK wanted me to make her a banana split. I made her stand over me and fan me in return.
My mother was a bit irritated by KK’s hyperactivity, but overall mom was the calmest person in the house, because she has a bottle of downers. Which, really, in emergencies like this, she should share with the rest of us.
Don was by far the worst. Is anyone shocked by this? He went on a racist tirade against a non-white family member who dared to do something as horrible as phone. He told the family member ‘fuck off motherfucker’, then slammed down the phone and used the N-word so many times I was ready to beat him with a baseball bat. Then he told everyone who didn’t like it (which was mostly me, but it upset KK too) to kiss his ass. And y’all know me - its hard for me to keep my mouth shut in these situations. I hate having to keep quiet, but I’m no good to anyone homeless.
My mother handled it fairly well though, by saying in a pleasant and cheerful voice, “Oh Don… just shut up”.
More reasons for me to hate living here. Actually, its fine when Don isn’t around. I’m getting along fine with my mother, for the first time in decades. But Don… ugh. He is an ugly ugly person, inside and out.
Anyway, now the air-conditioning is back on. The barbarians have lapsed back into their oh so fragile civility.
And I can now watch Dr Who.
Buy me a beer!
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Comments
This entry was posted on Friday, July 20th, 2007 at 7:01 pm and is filed under criminal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Sorry to hear about the storms, power outage, and (as usual) Dumb Don. It’s just too bad that people like that refuse to go (not so) gently into that good night - forfuckingever. Evil - the unfun kind - seems to have a way of hanging around, unfortunately.
Funny how that thin veneer of civility is so easily shredded. Or not so funny.
Glad you got some A/C and Dr Who in the end! If only you could toss Don into the Time Vortex.
Well the storm itself was great. I mean really amazing. I haven’t seen one like that in a while. And the sound of it was just…. BOOOOOMMMM! Magnificent. Hell it even drowned out Don’s fat mouth for a while.
But I’m seriously considering hotfooting him.
I know what you mean about a good storm like that. Every now and then I like to see one of those. One night when I was working on my dissertation at work, I got a ‘front row seat’ to a major lightning storm which had very little rain. It was truly amazing. I was rather glad to be inside a large building with lightning rods, but that’s cuz I’m a little chicken about big storms. Drowning out big mouthed assholes is always a plus, too.
Your hotfooting comment reminded me of an episode of Father Ted where the Ted kicks Bishop Brennan ‘up the arse’. I think Don would benefit from that kind of really hard, foot-swung-back, painful kick up the arse.
I’m not sure what definition of hotfoot you were using, but I was using it in the voodoo/rootwork sense. “To make someone go away”.
A good STFU spell might be well in order too.
Ah, no, that would be a bit more acceptable to the social atmosphere of the household… No, in Philly, there is some expression for the hotfoot which means something similar but in a much more direct manner (as in I should put my foot up your arse, you prick!).
Spells usually work a bit better at keeping the peace and very few magistrates would prosecute for a spell; a kick up the arse, however, could elicit police intervention.
Well with all the Harry Potter controversy(is he evil? is he a christian? is he just a work of fiction?) I wouldn’t be surprised if witchcraft were soon once again illegal in these parts. Until then, I reckon I’ll keep my Don voodoo doll handy.
(I usually do not use the erroneous term ‘voodoo doll’ but prefer the term ‘poppet’, but because in the virtual reality world of Shattered Prayer, I have a robot sex-slave named Poppet, I prefer not to associate that word in any way with the oh so unattractive Don.)
HP is definitely destroying our youth who cannot discern reality from fiction. Or is that the adults who are the total fucking idiots? Too many sanctimonious jerks in this world.
HA! Well, I didn’t know that voodoo was erroneous, but I suppose I should have. Regardless, you definitely don’t want any confusion between robot sex slaves and Don. Robot garbage compactors and Don, I can see; but not sex slaves.
Well its not voodoo that’s erroneous, its the term ‘voodoo doll’. The use of dolls and poppets are more a product of European witchcraft than 0f voodoo or Vodoun, but somehow the use of dolls became conflated with voodoo,and in the more free-style forms of voodoo - like the kind prevalent in New Orleans - the use of dolls has made its way into practice.
Isn’t that always how it is? Someone always f-ing it up and then that f-ed up thing is the one that gets popularized. [sigh]
Yes, Hollywood do loves the voodoo doll, don’t it?
Me, I just like whatever works to get Don gone. Voodoo doll… hotfoot powder… AK-47.
Haha… just kidding, FBI man.