Loading ...My mom…. and yeah, if this post was about something dirty, it would not start with the words my mom. So anyways, my mom makes the best pound-cake in the world. Best.
Moist and rich on the inside with a light layer of buttery crust on the top.Yum.
And you’ve got a nice warm, fresh slice on your plate, and you eat it with your fingers, pinching off a tidbit at a time and savoring every sweet, fattening bite. You carefully save the upper crust for last, because this is the best part, the end of the pilgramage, the Jerusalem of the pound-cake. And just as you’re about to pop that golden, crusty morsel into your mouth, it falls to the floor and lands in the spot where your very fat, furry cat was just lying.
You never think such a disaster could happen to you, and when it does, it feels like the end of the world. You could weep for a thousand years. You could cut out your tongue and fling it into the garbage because your taste-buds have been deprived of such a prize.
Oh sure, you could go cut yourself another piece of cake, but THAT was the perfect piece. Fresh out of the oven, just the right tempature, the first piece is the best piece. Another piece will not taste the same.
Yes yes! I admit it. I picked it up and ate it. It was by far the lesser of two evils. To leave it would have been the Shattered Prayer equivalent of a deadly sin. I did brush it off first, but Bea-hairs. Well they stick. They’re alive, they worm inside everything. Hell, I find Bea hairs everywhere, I probably eat dozens a day unawares. So what if this time I was actually aware of them?
Of course now I have a pussy hair lodged on my palate, just like I’ve been munchin’ hair-cake or something. You know how it is when it tickles and makes you utter gutteral Hebrew consonants just to try and dislodge it? Or maybe you don’t, I don’t know.
Oh hey, look… the post ended up kinda dirty after all.
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 24th, 2007 at 4:54 pm and is filed under edible. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I love it! It’s true. That crusty bit straight out of the oven is the Holy Grail of cakedom. It is Divine. To have it taken away when it was so close… I would have eaten too. I mean, she’s your cat and there’s nothing (really) wrong with her, so why not? Besides, they have actually done research (well, pseudo-research) that showed that it’s fine up to and even past one minute after it hit the floor! The hair part is just an irrelevant detail.
Worth it all for that Golden Brown Crusty Goodness!
And, yes, that title did lead me to believe the post would be about sex. Instead, it’s about something better: Food!
Hair-cake! I thought 70ies ‘Hair’..
Loved the Hebrew vowels… It’s different in humans; compared to cats working up furballs, isn’t it?
Yeah, cats are more efficient… We just hack and growl and it’s just not pretty. Worth it for the cake, though.
I am so glad I have friends who understand this situation. People who know the value of a good piece of …. cake. Finally, a place where I truly feel like I belong. A place where everybody knows my name, and understands my cake-fetish.
Like Karen Walker says, “I’m getting all misty… down there.”
It’s good to be connected…
I love that Karen quote. Here is another I think you’ll appreciate, Che:
Honey, you’re simple, you’re shallow, and you’re a common whore; thats why we’re soul mates!
You got to hear Todd Colby declaring his love for cake!
That’s so bizarre, Bas, but funny.
I’ll punch somebody in the head for CAKE!!!
Good stuff. I can relate…
Okay, I’m going to have to download some of these cake covers.
Todd Colby should come join us at SP.
Another Karen:
My catch-phrase is: “24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. You figure it out.”
But I WILL punch somebody in the head for cake.
I’ll also eat it off a fur-laden floor.
So true, Che. Come on over, Todd Colby.
That is a great Karenism. Haven’t heard it before, but love it. ‘Cuz it’s just so darned true. Plus, it has math which is fun (well, sort of).
Head punching for cakes! Is that a new SP Holiday Ritual? While we’re making rituals (as popes and other officiants), we should consider the great, crusty hair cake as an official treat of one of our holidays, to be decided by Che, our Reverend Mother of the SP Bene Gesserit.
And for weirdest Cake cover so far, I vote for this one (admittedly, I didn’t listen to them all… but you have to admit that’s weird).
Head-punching for cakes!
And speaking of holidays, did anyone even NOTICE it was Jersey Devil Day yesterday?
Head-punching for cake sounds more like an easter thing, though, doesn’t it?
“Happy Easter motherfucker” Blam! “Haha! gotcher cake!” Its so traditional, so spiritual. Christ would like it. We could dress in bunny suits as we do it. Jesus loves bunnies.
By your inflection, I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but…no
-Karen again.
Bene Gesserit? So I’m demoted to a minor part in Dune?
Dammit! Jersey Devil Day has not yet risen in the ranks of national holiday-dom.
Good point. It complements Easter best, what with all that Jesus-this and Jesus-that and love and peace… then WHAM a fist to the side of the head and YOINK, I gotcher cake, beyotch! Jeebus wept. Cuz we punched him in the head and took his Bunny Cake!
Ha, I do have that Karen quote - it’s great. And so often, oh so true.
Sorry about the demotion in Dune-land, but you have to be a leader and they seem to have trouble keeping them alive, so I thought that was the only suitable title. Still, the RM didn’t fare well either, but we work with what we have. I didn’t want you to have the Kyle McLachlan role due to all the annoying voice-overs which would eventually drive you (and us) quite mad.
Fierce outfits, they had in the end of the movie, but I ain’t ridin’ no damn giant worms. I said it before and I’ll say it again: No giant worms! I figured you felt the same, which is yet another reason not to be the Kwisatz Haderach. Plus, it’s hard to spell. I had to look it up.
And full circle back to Hebrew vowels, since Hebrew is the language from which the KH was derived!
(Off to bed… Getting up early and am tired…
Jesus wept. Cuz we punch him in the head and took his bunny cake.\”
I laughed till I stopped. If I\’d been eating cake, I\’d have spit it halfway across the room. That should be a blog-title, that.
No, I wouldn\’t want the Kyle McLachlan role. Mainly because I can\’t stand his face. It looks like its made out of rubber. Have you ever noticed that?
Oh, I don\’t know. I\’ve ridden a giant worm or two in my time. I\’m surprised you\’re so against the activity.
I agree about Kyle McLachlan’s face. I was so upset when I discovered he had been cast as Paul Atreides in Dune. I mean, I was into the flying wing underwear that Sting wore, but I just couldn’t buy Kyle McLachlan as Paul. Ruined the movie before I even watched it.
Here’s Sting’s grunders
http://imdb.com/gallery/mptv/1390/Mptv/1390/8864_0027.jpg.html?hint=tt0087182
I do NOT, however, remember Kyle McLachlan dressed like this in the movie.
http://imdb.com/gallery/mptv/1390/Mptv/1390/8864_0026.jpg.html?path=gallery&path_key=0087182
Maybe I would have enjoyed it more.
And I saw that movie in the theatre with a guy with whom I was regularly having sex. I was 15 years old and he was 16. His greatest desire was to be a farmer. So much so that when we were young (in grade school) he used to drive a frisbee around the playground and pretend that it was a tractor. He would pretend he was pulling a harrow behind him. And he pronounced it “Hair-uh.”
Yes, that was my first regular sex partner. We were so not meant for each other.
By the way, he loved the movie Dune and I was severely disappointed with it.
I loved the book and he never read it.
He never read anything unless it was about John Deere.
I thought the movie was godawful. Though sting’s winged underpanties redeemed things slightly.
I did like the book. The second and third books were good too.
Then it all went to hell.
Is anyone watching Damages tonight?
Jeebus, Glenn Close is 60 years old - still sexy as hell.
Just got in, so no. Not watching damages. I heard it was going to be on and that it was another risky FX show, though.
The movie was godawful (I’m thinking about the spice). It didn’t capture any of the complexities of the book (I’m whispering about the spice). I just didn’t like it at all (I didn’t like it at all. Oh, and spice).
I thought for those readers who were a fan of the movie that you would appreciate the stupid WHISPER OVER that accompanied it. Good Lord! (I’m repeating what I just said out loud. Spice).
Oh please! We don’t have readers who were fans of that movie. Our readers are tasteful! After all, they read SP(ice)
SP(ice)
I found that hilarious. Maybe I am very tired. Or maybe it was fucking hilarious.
And I also agree about the books. Children was pretty good. By the time they got to God Emperor of Dune, I was getting bored. Did everyone turn into a worm? That was kinda gross.
And then it was The Cacti of Dune, The Mildly Annoyed Ixians of Dune, The Trying to Cash in on My Father’s Genius When I’m Just a Hack of Dune.
Oh no, wait. That’s the current series by Frank’s son Brian. A series so bad, he had to have help writing it.
By the way, I did read Harry Potter this weekend, but I cannot comment on it because Mojo is currently reading it.
No Spoilers from anyone who has read it.
Well… it wasn’t THAT funny.
I haven’t even read the first Harry Potter. How I avoided it for so long is beyond me. I just don’t know if I want to commit to reading a series of seven children’s books. I’m thinkin’ there ain’t too much sex in’em. Not like the children’s books I read when I was a kid. Oh wait, that was my grandma’s porn.
Well its about my bedtime. Nighty night all. Sleepy tight.
No. Not much sex in them at all. But they are fast reads, and surprisingly well written. I enjoyed them.
What if that was the way people reviewed books.
I read it. I liked it. Read it if you want.
Nighty night.
That was a pretty bad movie. I liked KM in Twin Peaks, but he wasn’t ideal for Dune (although I had never read the book before I saw the movie).
Good point about the giant worm, Che. I just don’t like ones with teeth. Plus, I’m no size queen, so giant is not necessarily better. But don’t quote me on that.
Everyone at work agrees with R’s summary of HP Book 7.
BBL… eyes are scratchy now…
I had trouble watching Twin Peaks because of Kyle’s rubbery face. I just do not like his face. I watched Blue Velvet only for Isabella Rossellini (you know how she loves her big beef and cheddar). It was good despite Kyle, and not because of him. He just annoys me.
Can’t say I’m much of a size-queen either. Mainly because I’m not a queen, but still. And teeth? No thanks.
what’s wrong with teeth? *nibble nibble*