Loading ...This happened while I was living in Durham in the north of England. Durham is a lovely town, situated around a majestic cathedral and a castle that sits high on a hill, looming over the town like so much doom. This is really the only good thing about Durham. The people are unfriendly and small-minded (especially if you have an american accent, like me), and there’s not a whole lotta culture and night-life to speak of.
So we did lots of drugs. Usually legal, experimental stuff, like Salvia Divinorum.
Disclaimer: This post is NOT a recommendation for anyone to do Salvia Divinorum. I personally find the stuff to be immersive and enlightening, but it is so not a recreational drug. If you do it for recreation, it’ll bite your ass. You’ve been warned.
I was the only person in the room approaching the Salvia experience with a spiritual attitude, rather than a recreational one, and my own experience was incredible, revalatory, and deeply, personally insightful.
Everyone else got bitten in the ass.
Except maybe Adam: I don’t remember what his experience was like that night, but I do know he went on to have some very good ones.
Pi didn’t have any sort of trip at all. But thats par for the course for him. He seems to think he’s a hard-head with regards to certain halluconigens, but I just think he has a mental block to alternative realites.
When Rich’s turn (not R the P, but the other Rich) came his spine became twisted up pretzel-esque. When I emerged fully from my trip he was lying on the floor making noises like “Achghrrrch.. Arghchblshrh…” I still wasn’t completely sober, so I laughed at him. Probably not nice, but I genuinely thought he was making some kind of joke. I didn’t know he was actually in pain.
And there’s Ross, writing his name on a post-it note. He stuck it on the wall and said, “Thats in case I forget my name.”
I laughed, “Haha… you’re not going to forget your name”.
He forgot his name.
He also forgot to look at the post-it note. He was so entrenched in terror, he didn’t know who he was, where he was, or who we were. He thought Pi and I were evil scientists who were doing some sort of terrible experiments on Rich, who was lying on the floor yelling, “Arrrghch… Arrrlchghsh…”
“What are they doing to that poor man”, Ross thought.
I didn’t realise Ross was in this state of sheer terror. I thought he wasn’t high at all so I handed him back the bong and said, “Smoke some more!” in a demanding tone.
He thought I, the evil scientist, was trying to poison him.
He held the bong shakily to his mouth.. and blew into it.
“NO!” I screamed, “SUCK IT! SUCK IT!”
I think around that time Pi collapsed into a fit of hilarity, and Ross is murmuring, “but I don’t want to suck it”, and pretending to have a toke just to please me, the mad scientist.
I think I was honestly, having just emerged from this wonderful experience, just wanting everyone to see the same things I had. I was just being very very insistent about it, not realising that no one else was having a good time. I couldn’t fathom the idea that no one else in the room was as joyous and moved as I was.
Around that point, everything descended into chaos. Rich screaming, Pi laughing, me yelling, and Ross on the verge of tears. I think Adam had gone to the bathroom.. way to escape the chaos, Adam.
Things finally calmed down enough for Rich to regain the use of his back, and Ross to regain his name. I don’t think they ever did Salvia again.
Buy me a beer!
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