Loading ...I think having an ‘about’ post is long overdue at Shattered Prayer. I mean, how will we ever get new members into our cult… uh.. ahem…. our social club, if we don’t have a mission statement or summat? To that end, I’ve put together a little summary of our activities. Give a yell if I’ve left out anything.
About:
Organisation: Shattered Prayer
Official Language: Dunglish
Other languages spoken: English, Spanish, Aramaic, Latin, Tongues of the Holy Spirit, that backwards demon-language from the Exorcist, Bathyllic, and Dutch animal noises. (woef! blaf! moe! piep!). We accept speakers of other languages, but if you don’t speak one of the above languages while here, then none of us are going to understand you, and the conversation will lapse into incoherence, which is generally fine with us.
Official snack: Greek-filled chocolate bunnies, or chocolate-covered Greeks. Either one - we’re not picky.
Other snacks: Cakes, pies, cookies, donuts (esp. Boston Creme-filled), brownies and generally anything that contains lots of fat and sugar, as dictated by the official SP dietician, Bas.
Forbidden snack: Carrot salad. There’s just no excuse for carrot salad.
Official libation: Mojitos of the Undead.
Other libations: Any frozen blender cocktails, vodka and cranberry, tequila, and beer. Lots of beer.
Official soft-drink: Dr Pepper.
Other soft-drinks: Tab, fresca, vanilla-coke, key-lime creme soda, and mango-flavored Lilt.
Official Mascot: The giant Greek-filled Chocolate Bunny (aka, the Trojan Bunny)
Other Mascots: The Jersey Devil, Dracula, Big-Bush Mercuri, those big heads on Easter Island, Lois Lane, David Cassidy, Adrienne Barbeaubot, anything with a stone penis, anything wearing a lei.
Official Muse: Samuel, the rough muse.
Other Muses: When you’ve got one rough muse, the others don’t stick around for long.
Official deity: Hermes-Mercuri
Other deities: Oh, just about anyone with a stone penis is fine.
The Holy Land: Tahiti
Other Holy Lands: Transylvania, Greece, Hershey PA, the Netherlands, New Jersey; anywhere thats not in a desert or on top of a mountain or in Alberta, cuz those kinds of Holy Lands suck.
Official appliance: The Blender.
Other appliances: Who needs other appliances if you have a blender?
Official song: Tahitimas, by Poesboes
Other songs: Well, we quite like the Modern Major General song from Pirates of Penzance.
Official Game: Head-punching for cake
Other games: “Whats in my vagina?”; stuffing Greeks into a chocolate bunny, licking chocolate off Greeks; stomping (and by stomping I mean ‘eating’
the gingerbread Kyoto.
Official Crest: An inspiring image of the Jersey Devil, rising up from blue Tahitian waters, wearing a lei and a stone dildo, and holding aloft a mojito in one hand, and a chocolate-covered Greek in another. (I really have to make that graphic, don’t I?)
Official Motto: Nude holiday vagina stuffing revelry for everyone!
Other Mottos: “Jesus wept. Cuz we punched him in the head and took his bunny cake.”, “Mmmmm…. sacrilicious.”, “Are you gonna suck me? Or are you gonna pump me?”, “What’s in my vagina?”
Calender of Holy Days:
February 1: Richardmas
March 1: Shelleymas
First Sunday after the first full moon following something something… Uh… same fucking day as Easter, okay?: Dracuster, where Dracula’s resurrection from the grave is solemnly celebrated by SPians everywhere.
First Sunday in May (or in Canada, first Sunday in March. Right?): Breederless Day.
May 15: Mercuralia. Also Chocolate Chip Cookie Day.
June: Che-mas.
June 21: Che-day
July 23: Jersey Devil Day.
October 2: Basmas
October 31: Hallowe’en (hey, its fine like it is - why change it?)
December 6: Mojomas
December 25: Tahitimas
Buy me a beer!
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Comments
This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 31st, 2007 at 11:41 am and is filed under phenomenal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Awesome, Che! We’ve been needing this ‘About’ statement.
Your mention of carrot salad made me shudder [still shuddering]
But your comment about the crest, well, that’s one graphic I really would like to see!
Look, there is something I want to know from the long-time SPers. This came up at the blogathon but so far, no one has had an answer.
Has the “Share your wisdom” above the comments box always been there?
You’d think one of us would have noticed such a thing. Anyway, I think I’m going to change it to something more appropriate.
It has always been there. But I prefer to make an ass of myself.
By the way, this is brilliant — the about post. It completely sums up what this site is about.
HA! i love the comment box change. i was feeling a bit inadequate. “my wisdom? what am i, king solomon? ok, wise, wise, wise… ass? the fuck, you say. wisdom. hmmmmmm….”
“radio edit” was already taken. *shrug* but this? this, i can do.
uh. this is, i mean to say, the official soft drink helped me through blogathon. good choice.
*runs away to make t-shirts with the motto on them*
Hooray! Glad you guys like the post. And the comment-instructions. I have to agree with steff, we’re ALL good at making asses of ourselves. We’ve proven that over and over on this site.
We’re also occasionally wise, but there’s no point in feeling pressured to be wise all the time.
Awesome!
LOL! Make an ass… way better!
Brilliant ‘About’.
And i really can’t get to grips with why we didn’t honor Jersey Devil day more properly. We’ll have to keep proper track of it next year.
Love the new admonishment to make an ass of myself. It’s my specialty!
And, is there something on top of the SP God’s head? It looks like a French soldier hat or a doo rag… or maybe I need to turn up my screen brightness. I hadn’t noticed it before… Then again, there was stone penis to distract me.
Ah look -there’s Bas, popping in from his 90 week Dutch vacation. And I agree, we should have done Jersey Devil day more properly, but R the P and Mojo and I are getting together soon so we’ll make up for it.
and the thing on top of his head, Mojo, is a winged helmet. Dammit its Mercuri. I know its hard to recognize him without the big bush but one might think the winged helm would be a dead giveaway.
Well, I figured as much re the winged helmet, but from this angle it doesn’t look like wings, though I imagine it does from the side. He’s so smokin’ hot that I really don’t seen any reason for him to bother with accouterments.
Can’t wait for the proper Jersey Devil Day celebration!
So have we decided upon tequila and Mexican food, or perhaps something more New Jersey-esque? Whatever that would be.
And yes, smokin’ hot indeed. I’ve always had difficulty worshipping deities I didn’t find attractive in some way. Thats why Jehovah was always so problematic. He isn’t attractive in any way. Old bearded man in the sky with a bad attitude, with all the blasting and the flooding and the smiting. ‘fraid he’s just not deserving of my adoration.
Italian would likely be the most stereotypical Jersey thing. According to the Census Bureau, the largest ancestry group is, in fact, Italian with Irish, African, German, and Polish not too far behind. NJ is one of the most ethnically diverse states in the US. So, that means we can have whatever food we want and it still fits into JDD!
Something to be very grateful for is that the second largest religious group in the state is “None”. And collectively, 25% of NJ identify religiously as “None”, “Other”, or “Refused to Identify”. What a fun place! To be clear, though, the Jersey Devil is Jewish.
Ohhhhhh…. that would explain why his stone penis is circumcised.
See, told ya. Of course, barbaric Americans do it to all those unfortunate baby boys… but do not get me started on that topic!
I think its pretty barbaric.
I prefer the uncircumcised penis myself. I mean, its kind of unattractive, but really, penises aren’t all that lovely anyway. They’re just functional. And I like the way the uncircumcised ones function. Talk about a long-distance shot-put. Woohoo! And menz with their foreskin still attached seem to have way better orgasms. And if they’re having better orgasms, and doing all that grinding and shuddering well… lets just say they’ve got a whole new setting on the vibrator.
Well put, Che!
So what you’re saying is, my own selfish personal preferences carry far more weight than any serious socio-religio-political arguments.
Well, yes, absolutely. Anybody can debate sociopolitical/psychosocial points, but there’s no denying the simplicity and power of “I like it better cuz I have more fun with it”. There you have it. Debate over. I like it, now shove off you smarmy gits.
Niiiicce.
Well there ya go
hell, there’s headwear in that picture?
i hadn’t noticed.
we definitely have to get stefficus to our next Tahitimas celebration.
BTW, R the P and Mojo - when ya’ll are down next WE, do y’all want to go see Stardust?
Cuz I do.
okay so I’m drunk so I can’t read all the other comments right now so this may have been mentioned but you forgot to say that the talking in tongues is Richard the previous and Mojo because they are training to be jehovah’s witnessess and that our other holiday celebration is breederless day, come on that is my only holiday!
OH MY GOD you ARE drunk. I’m not sure that made sense - but I did hear the words ‘Breederless Day’, which reminds me that I left out Breederless Day. And how could I forget that holiday? Its one of my favorites! Especially since I found out my ex-husband is expecting his sixth - oh yes you heard me right - sixth child.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sorry for the laughter. The pitious, contemptible laughter. But I’ve been chuckling all damned day.
Unlike his wife who has probably been upchucking all day.
I got only two words:
Planned Parenthood. A place where one can explore the myriad wonders of birth control that is available today.
Anyway, two other words. Breederless Day. I’ll correct the calender right away.
Hmmmm… Shelley, now you’ve got me wanting a drink. I’m so suggestible to you - why is that? You say brownies, I have to go make brownies. You say booze, here I am, sucking down the JD. I’m like your personal, albeit somewhat useless, Manchurian candidate. (Uh… the original version, not that dire remake.)
i am sosoSO up for breederless day (insert rants here).
and, where do i have to go for tahitimas? are there grass skirts? coconut bras??
I’m game for Stardust, Che.
Wow, Shelley, that was pretty crazy. I like it. And on a Wednesday. Good stuff.
Breederless day, breederless day! Yay!
Stefficus, in some cases, you would be hard pressed to find coconuts capable of accommodating every woman (or man). But if it suits you… go for it!
…which is part of why i asked.
I myself have always imagined coconut bras and grass skirts for Tahitimas. But this sort of thing never crosses the minds of the gay menz on the blog, who dream only of chocolate covered greeks (which I got absolutely no problem with either. Mmmmmm….. Hellenicious)
Hellenicious *LOL*
I too laughed out loud at “Hellenicious.”
Chocolate covered Greeks are Hellenicious.
As to Jersey Devil Day, Mojo and I couldn’t celebrate it as we are in Jersey. If Tahitimas can be celebrated everywhere but Tahiti, then Jersey Devil Day couldn’t be celebrated in Jersey! It wouldn’t make sense.
And, just like holidays celebrated on Monday, we can have Jersey Devil Day Actual and Jersey Devil Day Observed.
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