Loading ...Now don’t get me wrong. I actually like Jehovah’s Witnesses. I might be the only person on earth who does, besides the Jehovah’s Witnesses themselves. The reason I like them is because my favorite aunt and uncle when I was growing up were Jehovah’s Witnesses. I know a lot about their religion, and its not as scary as most people think it is.
My problem is people knocking on my door without an invitation. I don’t care what religion you are, get off my damned doorstep. Its just an unfortunate coincidence that Jehovah’s Witnesses do this more than other religions.
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JW: Hello, have you heard the good news about….
Me: Sorry, can’t talk, I’m late for my Satanic Ritual.
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My friends are over and there’s a knock at the door. Bill goes to the door and peeps through the peephole, “It looks like Jehovah’s Witnesses! Quick! Everybody take your clothes off!”
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Its Hallowe’en, and I’m dressed like the Grim Reaper. I answer the door.
JW: I see you’re dressed for Hallowe’en.
Me: (looking confused) No….
——————-
I’m in one of the worst neighborhoods in New Orleans, basically enjoying the hell out of myself. A little old lady is standing on the street-corner with a Watchtower in her hand. She looks at me and says, “Can I speak with you a moment?”
Oh lord, I think, here comes the preaching. But I’m in a good mood, so I say “Sure”, and just to start the ball rolling I say, “I see you’re a Jehovah’s Witness”.
“Oh that” she says, “Never mind that. Would you walk me to my car? This neighborhood is scary and you look awfully tough.”
Gee…. thanks.
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 1st, 2007 at 11:24 am and is filed under ruminal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I’m always amazed the lame excuses they come up with to leave when they call at my door.
I had my leg in a cast some 20 years ago. Crutches and all. They call at the door. We speak half an hour and they want to leave in the middle of a good debate!
I followed them. With crutches. Hopping along. You never think about it, but they are FAST! Couldn’t keep up with them.
Wow, there are even JWs in the Netherlands.
I have this image of Bas on crutches, chasing the Jehoobies down the street, yelling ‘wait! wait! you haven’t even finished your cup of tea!’.
I certainly don’t mind debating JWs - or anybody for that matter. Y’all know me - I do love a good argument (as long as I’m not being forced to ‘communicate’ about my ‘feelings’
. I just prefer the arguments occur on my own time, rather than JW time, which is usually early in the morning.
Che, it’s a good thing you’re tough, or else you would have been listening to a diatribe about all that JW stuff. Can’t stand it, myself.
Ha! That’s great, Bas. They love to preach, but debating seems to scare them off pretty well. It must work because what they believe is a load of bloody rubbish. But I work with a very nice JW woman who I quite like. Too bad she can’t drink or party or anything else.
Like Che, I am shocked they have them in the Netherlands. You folks can tolerate anything! Good for you, mate. BTW, I will now be calling them Jehoobies. It’s perfect. In English, it sounds like a combination of Jehovah and boobs - JeebusBoobs! Jehoobies it is.
Jehoobies is good.
Or Jit-wits.
Yeah, that’s good too, but doesn’t evoke quite the same imagery. But it is more direct.
LMFAO! That’s hillarious!
This doesn’t involved jehoobies. It involves Southern Baptists.
When I was with my first boyfriend, a couple of young and cute Southern Baptists came a knocking on our door. They said, “Can we come in and talk to you about accepting Jesus Christ into your life?”
I smiled and said, “Sure. Come on in.” They came in and got seated. My boyfriend and I sat between them and the door, and I finished my sentence by saying, “As long as we can talk to you about accepting homosexuality into yours.”
I’ve never seen two more frightened Baptists.
Jeebusboobies! Oh dear, did I need that laugh.
And only if you accept homosexuality into your life!
When my mom used to call me from Montreal to complain about how all the JW’s kept showing up at her door, I told her to tell them, “Do you mind I was just getting ready to fuck my boyfriend,” but she didn’t have the guts to do it, although she laughed wholeheartedly.
But just getting naked and answering the door works… or the grim reaper getup.
Oh, I just noticed that you took away the “Share your wisdom” and have given us all the option to make an ass of ourselves… I love you more and more with each passing day.
I’m surprised y’all let me keep the ’share your wisdom’ up as long as you did. No one even called me on it until the blogathon. Really now, y’all were slackin’ off.
I did once have a couple of Mormons heal me with laying on of hands. My Mormon friend invited them over when I was feeling bad.
Her: Can I invite my friends over. They can do a healing.
Me: How?
Her: Laying on of hands.
Me: They’re gonna lay their hands on me?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Are they cute?