Loading ...So I’m reading the first Harry Potter book now. I’m a little disappointed actually. The way the christians go on about it, I was expecting maybe a hybrid between 120 Days of Sodom and The Satanic Bible. Which might actually be interesting reading come to think of it.
Okay, we now have an Aries among us, and I’m a little bit pissed off that I’m no longer first in the weekly horoscopes by Rob. However, out of fairness, I’ll let Steff be first this week. But if I don’t like it, next week she gets tacked onto the end somewhere.
“The face is the most erotic part of the body,” says fashion designer Vivienne Westwood. Try out that perspective for a while, Aries. Your assignment in the coming week is to enjoy getting excited by faces that captivate your imagination. This isn’t just about pure physical beauty, of course. You should also be alert to the titillating wisdom and arousing compassion that are revealed in their features . . . as well as the ripples of inscrutable emotions and the flows of secret knowings.
The face is the most erotic part of the body. Yeah sure, tell that to a horny Aries.
Alright now me. Nope… not likin’ this being second in line at all:
“I do not wish to hear about the moon from someone who has not been there,” wrote 19th-century wit Mark Twain. That’s an extreme statement of how important it is to formulate conclusions based on first-hand knowledge rather than on hearsay and random opinions. In the coming weeks, this principle will be even more crucial to your mental health than it usually is. In my astrological opinion, you need to significantly increase the proportion of information you acquire through your direct perceptions, as well as from people who’ve had intimate contact with the things you’re curious about.
What? Am I seeking wisdom again?
I don’t know if Karah’s going to be joining us for the weekly horoscopes but just in case, I’ll include her this week:
“Dear Rob: Do you have any tips on dealing with fear that paralyzes you? Like say I need to tell a certain someone how I really feel. My heart keeps telling me to do it. My mind keeps telling me to do it. But my fear makes me put it off again and again. And I don’t have much time before the window of opportunity closes. Please help! I don’t want to miss out! - Cowardly Cancerian.” Dear Soon-To-Be-Courageous Cancerian: In accordance with cosmic rhythms, which are conspiring to assist you in summoning hidden reserves of chutzpah, I hereby assign you to actually do the thing you fear at one of these times: Friday, August 10 between 7 and 9 pm; Saturday, August 11 between noon and 2; Sunday, August 12 between 3:30 and 6 pm; or Monday, August 13 between 6 and 8 pm.
So is that Greenwich Mean Time, Eastern Standard Time, Central Time… what? I mean, if you’re going to go as far as hand out this strict schedule, you could at least provide a time zone.
This week, Bas is a shooting star. Why am I not surprised?
When you see a shooting star, you’re usually looking at a piece of cosmic debris that’s 30 to 60 miles away and no bigger than a grain of rice. As it streaks through the atmosphere, the compression of air in front of it creates a shock wave, generating enough heat to send a bright light to your eyes. Sound like something you want to emulate, Libra? I believe that in the coming weeks, your smallest actions, like those of shooting stars, could produce dramatic, far-reaching effects.
Next week, he’ll be a rose in bloom in the garden of happiness, and the week after that, a playful dolphin in an ocean of wonder, and the week after that, a happy songbird in the tree of inspiration, and the week after that, a fluffy cloud in the blue sky of promise. Gag.
But this weekend, Bas is the dancing drunk in the Festival of Darkness. Go Bas.
Mojo’s year gets a brand-name:
In Infinite Jest, novelist David Foster Wallace imagines what life will be like in the future. One big change is that the years will no longer be known by numbers. The naming rights will have been sold to corporate sponsors. What might have been 2013 and 2014, for instance, will be the Year of Dairy Products from the American Heartland and the Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment. I thought it might be fun to borrow that idea for your horoscope, especially in light of the fact that imminent events may play a big role in defining the main themes of 2007. Will this turn out to be your Year of Fertility Rites in the Wild Frontier? Or maybe the Year of Your Inner Animal’s Intelligence Upgrade? Or the Year of Your Fantastic Voyage to the Cosmic Lost and Found? We’ll soon find out.
I think if Rob gets his way, this’ll be the Year of the Pantsless Sagittarius.
Somehow, I can’t imagine Rob listening to KMFDM, and yet, here he is, quoting the least quotable band on earth for Richard’s horoscope:
“Desire is not an occupation,” croons the lead singer of the industrial rock band KMFDM. But I beg to differ, at least as far as you’re concerned. For the immediate future, it would definitely not be totally crazy for you to play hooky from your job and stop doing all the busy work you usually do so that you could fully devote yourself to exploring the riddles of your deepest longings. I’m not just talking about the yearning for love and sex, but every single one of your bone-aching, abyss-tempting, reality-crunching hungers.
So Richard, not only your bone (ahem) aching desires for a certain pantsless Sagittarius, but everything else too. I think that might include writing.
But thats just my interpretation.
Shelley will be swearing a lot:
I’d like to see you permanently lose at least 50 percent of your chronic aggravation. And I have an idea about how you might do that. Choose a day when you’ve got the leisure time to spend one intense half hour cursing about everything that annoys, frustrates, and upsets you. For those 30 minutes, you’ll allow yourself to unleash tremendous ferocity as you commune with visions of your outrage. Giving yourself that permission — so my theory goes — would drain the backlog of vexation you’ve been carrying around. If you do it right, your spirit will be purged of the sour heaviness of background rage for at least eight weeks, probably longer.
Shelley I got no clue why you always get the homework, but if cursing a lot is as difficult as it gets this week, piece a’cake.
Speaking of cake, I smell cinnamon buns. Mmmmm…
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 8th, 2007 at 8:47 pm and is filed under mystical. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Well I think I’m going to go do a bit o reading ‘fore bed. When I say HP is disappointing, I don’t mean its bad. I just mean I expected more wickedness, considering how loudly the christians are howling for his blood. Harry Potter and the Bloodthirsty Righteous.
Good title.
Should have warned you ahead of time.
There is nothing — nothing that can be in any way objectionable in the book.
The Xians are just angry that they do magic and have to rely on themselves.
The Xians of the early 20th century did the same thing with the Wizard of Oz. They were furious that Dorothy had to rely on herself and not on God.
They felt that self-reliance was sacrilegious. And they felt that no one, especially girls, should be taught they should learn to be more independent.
Oh fuck, I’m swearing again this week? I was swearing all last week too! It wore my ass out.
Che, what you could do as far as the horoscopes are concerned (would this be an appropriate time to say vis a vis the horoscopes? I never know when you can say that. ha ha) You could put them in order starting from the month we are in. Like Leo (since we’re in Leo) then Virgo, Libra…
That way we could all eventually get a chance to be first. Damn them Aries (sorry Steff) for always being first, yeah and those Pisce (me!) for always being last. Hm! That’s something to swear about! Fuck Fuck Shit piss motherfucker!
I was surprised when I read the first Harry Potter that it was kinda slow moving but I got why everyone was reading. By the time I got to the third book, I think, I was in full frenzy. Had to wait about a week before the 6th book came out. Waiting for the 7th was totally painful. I hope you enjoy them Che, they are a fun read.
xo
Damn that self-reliance! Far worse than la Vay or de Sade!
Well so far I’m halfway through the book and Harry’s been shopping in London. I mean… write about something I haven’t done.
Oh sure, he was shopping in London for magical accoutrements.
But I’ve done that too.
And he didn’t even take a side-trip to Soho for a little leather and steel.
Wait, you want me to give everyone a chance to be first in the horoscope? That sounds downright… fair.
Not to mention that would make Bas first right now, and the first thing we’d read is how he’s a brightly shining sun in the solar system of spirit, a bubbling fountain in the glade of enlightenment. And that would depress us right off the bat because the rest of us are probably just a bunch of schmucks, swearing or pantsless or searching for enlightenment, when all we really have to do to find enlightenment is meditate on a Libra for the rest of our lives because obviously they hold the secrets to the universe.
I seem to have gone off on a tangent. What the hell was I talking about?
Something something.. soho… leather…
I don’t know.
i had a long, recurring, entirely pointless argument with my sister about whether or not the aries horoscope always comes first.
sags can be pathologically stubborn, i’ve found. heh.
traditionally, i DO come first, dammit, no matter WHAT she says! practically, i really don’t care. put me later, that way i don’t have to wake up so early. ’sall good.
coincidentally, i usually do come first. huh. mmmm, leather…
Hey- I’m not stubborn at all and I will stand by my assertion for all eternity if need be!
Damn those perky Libras! A good friend of mine is a perky Libra, often having fun and having people do things for her for no apparent reason! If she weren’t a little wacky, she’d probably be a CEO by now. Libras are fun, though. I think I’ve liked every one of them I’ve met, which is saying a lot for me, because I don’t accept easily. And it’s not because I’m stubborn!
Yeah, Che, HP is not at all objectionable. Not one bit. It’s just that those hard core christians are once again playing the victim role. What a bunch of assholes. I agree with Shelley that the books get better as they go along, and as Harry et al. mature.
Given that cute Daniel Radcliffe plays Harry, I would in no way object to his taking a side trip into Soho for leather goods… as long as he brings me along!
But I digress.
Folks, we’re getting ready for our long, somewhat dreaded trip tomorrow. So, we’ll be out of touch for a bit. BUT, the good news is, we’ll be able to see Che in person soon!
Just wanted to clarify that the Northeast US has not resorted to long holidays a la the Netherlands. Back in a few days — post-Che!
Squeeeeeeeee!
I mean… I’m sad you won’t be on SP for the next few days, but I’m selfish. I’d much rather see you in person. Have you all to myself for a little while.
Well y’all have a whack of fun together and just know that I am jealous
fuck, shit, piss, motherfucker. ha ha!
The swearing is now cracking me up. Maybe I am getting all the rage out. Maybe I just need some alcolhol.
maybe…
Damn, I wish all the SPians could hang out with us. But we WILL meet in Tahiti one day.
We must!
Tahiti Tahiti Tahiti!
My mantra for the week, in between swearing.
I’m signing off. I’ve got weird neck and shoulder pain and sitting at the computer is excruciating.
you guys have fun, really, I swear!
And I won’t be jealous, you guys deserve it!
Hey! SP gathering
And nope.. it’s only Libras that have long holidays!
And i’ve just met the most amazing woman tonight. I’m wishing on Rob’s lucky star… Fingers crossed, HP at a ready.
Ohh.. HP is about to outrank the Bible in sales. That’s what the Xtians worries the most.
I did finish HP7 last week. It was a brilliant ending. I’m not spoiling the leather.
Leather?
Mmmm…
Leather! Leather bound HP!