Loading ...I should be in bed, but I’m waiting for my bedclothes to get out of the dryer (where they will be toasty on this Fall night — I know it is summer, but it is 63 degrees outside right now and it was in the 50s yesterday! Far cry from “every day is like a Sun-day” down in the south. Temperatures over 100 every day is no way to run a region of the country.) So while I wait, I thought I would post my favorite Tallulah Bankhead story.
It seems that while at a fundraiser for Adlai Stevenson, Tallulah had to go the bathroom. She settled down to do her business and discovered there was no toilet paper. She happened to see a pair of feet in the stall next to hers, so she knocked politely on the wall and said, “Excuse me, dahling, I don’t have any toilet paper. Do you?” The woman quite brusquely said, “No. I do not.” Tallulah undaunted asked, “Excuse me again, dahling, but do you have any Kleenex?” The woman replied icily that she did not. So Tallulah said, “Well then, dahling, do you happen to have two fives for a ten?”
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Thursday, August 23rd, 2007 at 12:11 am and is filed under seminal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I love that Tallulah story too, as you well know, R. She was quite a gal. Not sure I would have been close friends with her, but she certainly seems good for a laugh.
Alas, our good weather will not last. It will be in the low 90s on Saturday. We can’t complain, I guess… At least we don’t live in an oven like the South!
I’d hang out with Tallulah. Well, maybe in small doses, but then, when have I ever taken a small dose of anything?
Had a dream about you two last night. (by “you two” I mean R the P and Mojo). I dreamt I was supposed to be meeting you in a bingo parlor. It wasn’t a dire bingo parlor full of little old ladies in polyester. It was quite stylish, had a bar and a restaurant and a lounge.
While I was waiting for you, I was playing a game of bingo and noticed a really good-looking woman staring at me. After the game I followed her to the bar and sort of noticed her flirting while I had a margarita. Then I saw you two come in and head toward the restaurant, so I ran to meet you. You were fighting with one another, over a bad haircut Richard had. Some friend of y’all’s had cut his hair, and buzzed parts of it and shaved words into his head. Illegible words at that. Anyway,he was taking it out on those around him, so I decided to head back to the bar.
I was feeling kind of brazen so I put my arms around the hot woman and she kissed me, but I felt kind of bad about not hanging out with Richard and Mojo, so I told her I’d be in the restaurant with friends, if she wanted to come hang out with us. I went back to the restaurant and Richard started yelling at me, “why is lipstick smeared on your mouth? what have you been doing? who have you been kissing? You don’t want to hang out with us…!” etc.
And I said, “Nice haircut” and went to play another round of bingo.
mmmm, liiiiiipstick.
hehehehe.
I figured you’d like her, Che.
Her last words were
“Codeine. . . Bourbon.”
My last words will be “That ceiling fan sure is wobbly… gackh.”
By the way, I like how belligerent and bellicose I am in your dream.
And you should have known it was a dream if Mojo and I were fighting. We don’t fight. We get extremely silent, bottle any anger, retreat to separate rooms and then come back to each other to say “We still Love!”
It is sickening really.
But it’s what has kept us together for 11 years.
In honor of our loving love, here is “When Loving Lovers Love.” Sung By Pearl Forrester and the Observer (Brain Guy) on MST3k.
PEARL: When loving lovers love,
When loving love on wings of gold
In loving love we fly above,
Their love is such a soft and precious love.
It’s love.
A lovely love is all we seem to need when
We’re in loving love.
But then, it’s gone,
It is nothing but a memory.
OBSERVER: Memory.
PEARL: Memory.
OBSERVER: Memory.
PEARL: And then it’s back,
And loving lovers love again.
OBSERVER: Who knows where it flies?
PEARL: The lustrous love must rise,
OBSERVER: Into the endless skies.
PEARL: A new day shining bright,
OBSERVER: Your heart has wings to fly,
PEARL: And no one else can fly.
OBSERVER: I really can’t say why,
PEARL: I really do like pie.
OBSERVER: I know a couple of guys,
PEARL: They really do like pie.
BOTH: And loving lovers love as loving lovers love,
Golden, shimmering, lustrous, lovely, loving,
Loving love.
Thats a real touching song. Especially the part about pie. Pie can really cement a relationship. Way more than communication. I mean, why argue when you can just ignore each other? Speaking of pie, Pi and I used to argue over two things. 1) When he wanted to communicate, and I didn’t, and 2) Warhammer 40K. Now granted, that last one was really important, but the first one. We could have skipped every single one of those arguments, if he’d only realized what a waste of time all that “communication” was. All those times he wanted to communicate, could’a been spent doing something truly important. Like playing WH40K.
I’ve decided next year for the blogathon I’ll be blogging for (as well as doing hands-on volunteer work for) the Azkheban Rehabilitative Sodomy Endowment (or A.R.S.E.) I’m such a humanitarian. Really.
Pure as the driven acid rain.
most of the time, “communication” is just another word for, “don’t talk to me right now, fucker. i’m eating pie.”
I’d play for A.R.S.E. I mean, I’d blog for A.R.S.E.
I mean, mmmm, A.R.S.E.
Mojo likes the Pearl MST3Ks so much more than the Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank ones. And we both love “When Loving Lovers Love.” It is such a touching song. It mentions Mojo’s favorite thing.
Pie.
And the great news for all MST3K fans is that Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo), and Bill Corbett (Crow) have teamed up again to be “The Film Guys.” They do commentary for films, just minus the puppets this time. It is still hilarious. We watched “Killers From Space” tonight and watched “Hollywood After Dark” two nights ago.
They have a website
http://www.filmcrewonline.com/index.html
and they do tracks for rotten old movies just like they used to.
And if you want to hear them riff on newer movies (rotten or not), you can check out RiffTrax.
http://www.rifftrax.com/
Mike and guests (everyone from Mary Jo Pehl, who played Pearl, to Dougie Howser himself, Neil Patrick Harris) do commentary tracks for more current films. You have to download the commentary track and sync it to the DVD, which you rent or buy.
I’m just glad that they are providing me with so much entertainment again. I mean, it’s been 8 years!
Okay. For whatever reason, the websites didn’t show up in my comment above.
Just type in The Film Crew and RiffTrax into Google and you’ll find the sites.
And it is The Film Crew. Not the Film Guys. That was my sleepiness typing.
Steff, around here, thats definitely what communication means. New t-shirt: Don’t talk to me, fucker, I’m eating pie.
Bloggin’ fer arse. Its what we’re all about.
So what channel are you watching these wonders on? I could use a dose of mst3K, in whatever form. I used to love it. Well, you know that R the P. We spent an entire thanksgiving watching a 24 hour mst3k marathon. And Pi and I once spent an entire New Yrs eve playing WH40K. They say that what you’re doing at midnight will be what you do the rest of the year. Twas true that year.
’swhy i always try to be having sex at midnight.
Unfortunately, they aren’t on tv. The RiffTrax are 2.99 on the website www dot Rifftrax dot com (I don’t know why my links aren’t showing up).
But you have to rent or buy the dvd of the movie, the 2.99 just gets you the commentary.
The Film Crew is available on DVD from their own website (I think it is filmcrewonline dot com). Or from Amazon.
Mojo and I just got finished watching The Matrix and Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace with RiffTrax. Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy did the commentary, and the Matrix especially was hilarious.
And Good God Keanu Reeves was beautiful in that movie. Still couldn’t form an expression if a gun were to his head, but ungodly beautiful.
The thing about Star Wars The Phantom Menace, though, is that neither of us have seen it since our first watching it in 1999.
It is even worse than we remember it. Sure, there were moments when we laughed listening to the RiffTrax, but it reminded me of watching MST3K when the movie was SOOOOO horribly bad that it was difficult to provoke laughter because of the pain the movie was causing.
Phantom Menace was just like those horrible plotless sci-fi movies of the 50s, but the budget was higher.
It was simply horrible.
And Che, I do fondly remember the Turkey Day Marathon. My parents said, “You want to go spend time with her on Thanksgiving, watching a TV show instead of spending all day with us?”
Um. Yeah.
Although I did eat with them and then go see the marathon with you. My mother is an excellent cook.
Apparently Bill Corbett, the 2nd Crow, also saw that marathon and fell instantly in love with the show. He contacted the “best brains” people and eventually became a writer and actor on MST3K!!!!
I need to contact some shows that I admire. Maybe I’ll become an actor or writer in them.
Yeah, I seem to remember the Phantom Menace being godawful.I mean really… putrid. I was in England when it came out, and it wouldn’t be showing there for several months after it came out in the US. My roommate flew to America to see it. I hope he had a good vacation otherwise. Thats all I gots to say.
‘fraid I dont’ find Keanu appealing. Just one a’them things I reckon.
Sometimes Keanu Reeves looks gorgeous to me and sometimes he just looks dumpy.
He always looks vacant.
And he never can act.
But sometimes I don’t care if actors act well as long as they look good.
Because sometimes, I’m shallow.
I will admit to watching movies with the sound off sometimes.
and sometimes, the sound is the most important part. i’m sure i’ve (already) mentioned my affection for a scottish accent.
i am a little odd about which actors make me drool, or so i’ve been told. it’s part of my charm.
Your affection for a Scottish accent is understandable. I was listening to an audio adventure with the 8th Doctor in which Sean Biggerstaff from the 1st two Harry Potter films was doing one of the voices and I thought “How cute he is!” even without the benefit of seeing him.
And the current Doctor actually has a Scottish accent in real life.
i know. heh. i almost got why others find him so appealing on the show where they let him use it.
i have an aural fixation.
Ha ha!
You should watch the 7th Doctor then. Not much on the eyes, but he does have the Scottish accent.
Or cutie pie Jamie, companion of the second Doctor. It wasn’t a real Scottish accent, but he did look fetching in a kilt.
huh. i don’t remember jamie. i was, however, disappointed when the doctor on stargate atlantis was killed off. and sometimes i watch craig ferguson - where by “watch” i mean “listen to while doing something else and have no real idea what he’s actually saying.”
the most extreme manifestation of my accent fetish was probably when i was channel-surfing late one night with the mute button on and recognized a scottish accent by sight on some documentary or something. i was right about the accent; don’t remember what the hell the show was, though.
It takes a tremendous talent to recognize an accent by sight.
And here is Jamie — although lately none of my links are showing up, so can’t say that it will work.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/photonovels/moonbase/three/49.shtml
*blush* why, thank you. i don’t think of myself as tremendous, but if you say so…
hm. nope, still don’t recall jamie. i watched the old dr. who shows rather haphazardly… it’s possible i just missed the 2nd doctor entirely.
Oh! It worked.
Here’s Jamie in leather gear
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/photonovels/moonbase/one/12.shtml
Jamie showing a bit of skin
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/photonovels/moonbase/two/05.shtml
and Jamie in a skirt
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/photonovels/faceless/six/46.shtml
He was one of the longest serving companions. Almost 3 years with the 2nd Doctor.
He traveled with Ben and Polly
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/photonovels/faceless/six/59.shtml
Victoria
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/photonovels/fury/six/50.shtml
and Zoe
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/photonovels/wheelinspace/two/35.shtml
And was even with the Doctor when he first met the Brigadier
http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/classic/photonovels/weboffear/three/39.shtml
Very important that Jamie is.