The Shattered Prayer

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If you’re thinkin’ it might be time for Rob again, you’d be right. We’ll begin with me, shall we?

“I feel worst when I’m not learning,” writes Harker, one of my readers, “whether it be the stickier details of things I’ve almost mastered or the fresh spring wind of something entirely new to me.” If you share that perspective, as many Geminis do, I’ve got some good news for you: In the next 30 days you could learn more about love and intimacy than you have in the past two years. For those of you who are brave enough to shed your know-it-all romantic theories, the coming weeks could be like an intensive workshop in the fine art of creating exciting togetherness.

Yep, togetherness has certainly been more exciting than usual. In ways Rob, even with all his wisdom, probably never imagined.

And for steff:

In the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, mamihlapinatapai is a word meaning “gazing into each other’s eyes, each hoping that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start.” If I’m reading the astrological omens correctly, you’ve been experiencing some version of this poignant deadlock lately. It may have made sense for you to refrain from making the first move up until now, but it no longer does. Get yourself in a generous mood and provide the jumpstart you’ve both been hesitant to try.

Hrm…. I’ll leave you to interpret that one.

I got no idea what Bas’ means, since he’s been out of touch lately (hint hint), but here it is:

Art critic Simon Schama prefers not to think of Van Gogh’s Wheatfield With Crows as the work of an unhappy madman battling with suicidal urges. Rather, he prefers to see it as the seminal masterpiece of a modern genius who launched modern painting. Without denying that the first theory has some validity, he chooses to emphasize the truth of the second interpretation. I urge you to adopt a similar approach as you evaluate the meaning of recent events in your life: Don’t repress the pain they unleashed, but on the other hand, play up and celebrate their gloriously redemptive aspects. And don’t forget to sign up at the new forums.

Okay, maybe that last line wasn’t part of the original horoscope. But we miss you.

This week, Mojo is given a role model he can really identify with:

Homer Simpson, star of the TV show “The Simpsons,” has a continually evolving list of the many feats he hopes to accomplish in his life. Among the fantasies that have come true for him are being the manager of a country-western singer, keeping a diary while living in the wilderness, devouring the world’s most massive hoagie, and seeing Stevie Nicks naked. In accordance with your astrological omens, Homer is your role model in the coming week. May he inspire you to carry out one of your lifelong dreams, and to add three more lifelong dreams to your list for the future.

Thats my kind of horoscope. Be more like Homer Simpson. Pass the doughnuts.

R the P is committing some crimes this week:

“Dear Rob: Every night recently, I’ve dreamt I’m committing crimes like fraud, robbery, and embezzlement. (No murders, thank God!) It’s getting so I’m not that happy about going to sleep. I feel bad about the mayhem I’m perpetrating. (Although I did have a fun car chase once.) I don’t dream about the fruits of the crimes, just the criminal activities themselves. Is this something Aquarians in general are going through? I can’t tell if I feel guilty about something, am psyching myself up to be an outlaw, or have just been watching too many episodes of ‘Law & Order.’ -On the Lam.” Dear On the Lam: My guess is that your dreams (like those of many Aquarians) are prodding you to find more meaningful, productive ways to express creative rebellion in your waking life.

Good advice. Nothing wrong with a little creative rebellion.

Shelley’s going to the underworld, one of my favorite places:

Mythologist Joseph Campbell wrote books that describe the archetypal elements of the hero’s journey. Borrowing his perspective, I want you to know that it’s a perfect moment to take on the role of the hero and carry out an extended exploration of the underworld. Although it’s dark and odd down there, it happens to be the realm where your soul feels most at home. And your ego? It will probably feel like an exile, at least initially, but I bet it will ultimately find the underworld to be unexpectedly interesting and rewarding. For best results, Pisces, make a forceful decision to wander through the place with an adventurous spirit; don’t wait around for fate to command you to make an appearance. Dive down! Dig deep!

And while you’re down there, you need to find a damned soul who can help you with your injury. We want you back! Get well soon.

Hrm… looks like Rob may have been fairly accurate this week. Well… there’s a first time for everything.

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