The Shattered Prayer

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Well, Supergirl was dead (along with all all these people — that Crisis was rough). But, as I said in the last post, it was hard to keep a good woman down, so it was only a matter of time before Supergirl was resurrected. Even if it was as a blob of strawberry jelly.

After the Crisis, DC mandated that the ONLY person to have survived the explosion of Krypton was Superman. That was it. No more Supermonkeys, or Superdogs, or Supergirls, or Kandorian refugees, or Kryptonian criminals from the Phantom Zone. Just Superman. He had to be “special” and what made him special was being unique. In fact, even Krypton got a makeover. Gone were the days of the glorious 1950s era Krypton in which science made everything wonderful (even weddings! Just how much did that diamond put Jor-El back?) and in were the days of 1980s dystopic distrust of science where people did not interact, did not have sex, and just sat around all day in their green dresses and black body suits and contemplated how horrible every other civilization was. This change allowed us to realize that Superman was better off on wonderful old Earth. There was no way he’d ever want to go back to that godawful, sex-less place. Unless it was to get one of his mother’s fabulous hats.

But the changes didn’t stop there. They also dictated that there would be no more Superboys. Yep, Superman started his career as a fully grown man, saving Lois Lane from a space plane crash (and he did it in his regular clothes. Ma Kent decided that he needed a disguise and sewed up his first Superman outfit. She even made him a stylized “S” based on what Lois had called him in her article “Superman.” Yep. That’s right. The S was not a Kryptonian symbol. It was just Ma and Pa Kent’s graphic design expertise at work. Here’s a very sad (or very cold) Lana Lang looking at some Superman headlines after he started wearing Ma’s clothes.) So that meant that Smallville remained a sleepy Kansas town and never became famous. And it meant that all those exciting adventures of Superboy never happened.

This change caused quite a few problems. No Superboy meant no Legion of Super-Heroes. Because not only was Superboy a member, but also the Legion had formed based on his heroic history! The Legion was integral to Superman’s growth as a person when he was a boy. His best friend Pete Ross was invited to join the Legion as a Reservist. His girlfriend Lana Lang had visited the Legion, adopted the identity of Insect Queen and had become a Legion Reservist! Hell, the Legion had even been to Krypton! The Legion brought Superboy tears and danger, but also a sense of belonging and great joy. And most importantly, he never would have learned that the cost of costume material was prohibitively expensive to some people in the 30th century had he not joined.

And remember Supergirl (see, I didn’t forget this was about Supergirl) was a member of the Legion. (Recall that the Legion used to erase Superboy’s memory of her before sending him home?) Brainiac 5 even cried when Supergirl died. But now, in new continuity, Supergirl didn’t exist. So how could Brainiac 5 cry? Who founded the Legion? Why did the Crisis create more problems than it solved?

All right. Hang on. To get around the problem the “no more Superboy” ban had created, the writer of Legion decided that Superboy would continue to be the inspiration of the Legion even though he never existed. How can this be, you may ask. Well, it seems (here we go), Legion super-foe, the Time Trapper, who once created “the Iron Curtain of Time” had created a “pocket universe” in which Superboy did exist. Every time the Legion went back in time to get Superboy, they visited this pocket universe instead of the “real” DC universe. Superboy and the Legion eventually found out about this deception and in a fight with the Trapper, Superboy died. Before he died, however, the real Post Crisis Superman (with me still?) visited this “pocket universe” and fought with Superboy, who was much more powerful than the new, improved, Post-Crisis, cape shredding Superman (see, even Superman’s cape was less powerful Post-Crisis). Superboy and Superman soon discovered there was no need for the hate and everyone had a good laugh together.

But all good things must come to an end. After Pocket Universe Superboy died, the (good) Pocket Universe Lex Luthor unwittingly unleashed the pocket Phantom Zone criminals onto Pocket Earth. The three criminals, who possessed all the powers of a Pre-Crisis Kryptonian, promptly killed everyone on the Pocket Earth. To fight these villains (good) Pocket Luthor created a protoplasmic blob using the DNA of Luthor’s true love, dead Pocket Lana Lang. This protoplasmic Lana Lang was the new, improved, non-Kryptonian Post Crisis Supergirl. She was Super-Strong, could change her shape, could turn invisible, and could move things around with her mind (in fact, she was kinda like the Martian Manhunter), but she wasn’t Kryptonian! Or related to Superman! Or able to defeat the Pocket Phantom Zone villains, apparently. Superman had to come to her rescue and kill the Pocket Phantom Zone Villains, executioner style. Yes, that’s right. The modern Superman is a murderer. (But don’t worry. His guilt led him to turn himself in to the police. No. Not really. It led him to abandon the “real” Earth, go off on a whiny guilt trip out into space and lose most of his clothes. Hey, at least we discovered another way the Post Crisis Superman differed from the first. Post Crisis Supes had chest hair.)

Superman brought blobby Lana back to the “real” DC universe and the pocket Universe died. (None of this explained who the Supergirl was in the Legion of Super-Heroes. The writers just ignored that and hoped we would too). Post Crisis Superman dumped Post Crisis Supergirl off with his parents (just like the Pre-Crisis Superman had dumped her off in an orphanage — no matter who they are, Supermen don’t like girls messing up their good thing in Metropolis). Ma Kent took to calling her “Mae” for Matrix (because she was a protoplasmic matrix). They also convinced her to go blonde and not look so much like Lana Lang. It would upset the real Post Crisis Lana. Who was sort of a weepy crybaby. I prefer catfighting Lana to “feelings hurt all the time” Lana. The new Supergirl was given lots of exposure, even taking over Action Comics after Superman died (going so far as to become Clark Kent in so no one would know Clark and Superman were one and the same.) She even got a chance to ape some famous covers, including her own death cover.

But Mae had some problems. She was kind of dumb . She fell in love with the younger, fitter, hairier Post Crisis back from the dead Lex Luthor. She even came to blows with Superman over her lover. She also got a little too much into being Clark Kent, actually thinking she was him. In essence, she was called “Supergirl” but it just wasn’t the same. After all, she was a blob from a place that didn’t even exist. She wasn’t catching anyone’s fancy.

Along came writer Peter David to the rescue. He got to start a new Supergirl Series. Gone were Lex Luthor and the blob from nowhere. Now, Supergirl was a young woman named Linda Danvers (remember, Pre-Crisis she was also Linda Lee Danvers?) It seemed that Blobby Lana Mae Supergirl tried to save a young woman named Linda Danvers from a ritualistic murder conducted by Linda’s boyfriend Buzz and his little cult of Buzz worshipers. Buzz sliced open Linda and Blobby Lana Mae Supergirl tried to heal her wounds, but instead fused with Linda, saving her life. This fusing meant the two of them could switch between each other — either be short brown haired, non-powered Linda or tall blonde super-powered Supergirl. The merging jettisoned the invisibility and shape-shifting Martian Manhunter like powers as well. The change also meant Supergirl no longer thought of her self as Matrix. She was simply Supergirl. In fact, the left over non-merged bits of Matrix became a new, soulless creature called “Evil Matrix” which had to be defeated by Linda/Supergirl.

The themes of this series were also more complex than the themes of any other Supergirl series had ever been. Supergirl became a series about redemption. From now on, the two of them, Linda and Supergirl, worked together to save Linda’s soul. Complicating matters a bit was the fact that this act of selflessness — which in essence destroyed Matrix and saved Linda — caused the pair of them to become the Earth Angel of Fire.

The series was fantastic! Complicated plots, thought provoking story lines, discussion of religion and different beliefs in comics — done in a complex, non-superficial way. I loved it. I thought it combined the best of the Pre-Crisis Supergirl with the best of what they were doing Post Crisis. It had whatever you could possibly want — lesbian comediennes, angry female cults, bad dates, television screens in desperate need of cleaning, Post Crisis gender switching Super Horses, angry Fire Angels, banshees, Bizarros, and just for Mojo, Giant Demon Pussy Cats!

It was mature, adult, extremely well-crafted story telling.

So of course it got canceled.

But not immediately. Supergirl survived for a couple of years before the powers that be decided they needed yet another “new” Post Crisis Supergirl. I’ll outline those changes in Supergirl’s story in my next post — the post that finally introduces us to the midriff baring anorexic Supergirl of today.

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