Loading ...For all we know, in your past life you were a virgin who was thrown into a volcano to appease a fire deity. But whether or not that’s an actual fact, we can say this with certainty: At some time in your current life, you made a great sacrifice in an effort to pacify a person whose anger or violence or manipulativeness you were intimidated by. Now I say unto you, Aries, that it’s an excellent time to fix any distortions that were unleashed in your life because of that sacrifice. You’ve got the personal power and insight you need to set the healing in motion. Halloween costume suggestions: the mythical phoenix; a virgin-turned-warrior carrying the severed head of the fire deity; a fireman, firewoman, or firedancer.
That was Steff’s horoscope from Rob this week.
A virgin? What the hell is Rob sniffin’ this week?
Mine:
My writer friend Jeff Greenwald is looking for a publisher for his book Fifty Ways to Leave Your Comfort Zone. I think it’s a great concept, which is why I’m surprised that some of Jeff’s colleagues discouraged him from using that title. “At this tormented moment in history,” said one person, “the last thing anyone wants to hear is how to do what’s inconvenient and nerve-wracking.” To be true to your current omens, however, that’s exactly the advice I’m duty-bound to offer you, Gemini. The most interesting pleasures you can generate in the next few weeks will come from leaving your comfort zone. Halloween costume suggestion: whoever is least like you in the whole world.
I can see I’ll be dressing as Dr Laura this year.
Bas gets rich this week:
A survey of Russians revealed their thoughts about the best ways to get rich. A third of them said that stealing is most effective, whether that comes in the form of embezzlement, fraud, extortion, or plain old larceny. I don’t recommend that approach to you, Libra, even though you’re in an astrological phase that’s favorable for increasing your wealth. Instead, consider these strategies: working harder and smarter, expanding and deepening your web of connections, intensifying your commitment to excellence, and reading a book like Personal Finance for Dummies. Halloween costume suggestion: an impeccably styled schmooze specialist carrying a wad of big bills and a Wall Street Journal.
I reckon he’ll be hosting the next annual Tahitimas festival.
In the meantime, everyone is looking up to Mojo:
If you’ve been put on a pedestal by a person who admires you a little too much, it’s likely you’ll have to climb down from that pedestal in the coming weeks. If you’ve been floating up in the clouds, it’s time to get your feet on the ground. In fact, Sagittarius, if there’s any way in which you’ve been too high and mighty, too far outside and beyond, you’d be wise to leave it behind in favor of a more down-to-earth perspective. This is very good news, by the way. After an initial jolt, life will be more interesting and people will become more helpful. Halloween costume suggestions: an angel coming down a ladder, a parachutist, a celebrity drunk in rehab.
Richard is strappin’ one on for Halloween:
A 30-foot-high shaft of concrete draped in straw sprouts from an altar at an amusement park in Changchun, China. According to the China Folk Culture Association, this phallic symbol celebrates “our ancestors’ pursuit of happiness and prosperity.” Even if you’re a lesbian, I suggest you make a comparable tribute to divine virility, Aquarius. Perform a ritual to tap into the archetypal energy of the Wild Man. Make or buy a lucky talisman that will inspire the full bloom of your martial exuberance and primal will. Halloween costume suggestions: Dionysus, Pan, a shamanatrix with a strap-on, a transgender magician with a huge wand.
Wild-man Richard! Wanna borrow my wand?
Then there’s Shelley’s:
Bending the rules of the game? Blowing off the expectations of the pack? Circumventing the conventions of the way it’s always been done? Good work, Pisces. But why stop there? How about if you invoke an outrageous spiritual truth so you can suspend a humdrum old law of nature or two? After all, lyrical transgression is your specialty these days. It’s one of those rare times when your “sins” are likely to be so sublimely necessary that they will generate no bad karma. Halloween costume suggestion: Blend a deity with a superhero, like Buddha and Spiderman, or the goddess Athena and Storm from X-Men, or Jesus and Neo from The Matrix.
I think R the P needs to do the Superhero/Messiah costume. Then again, maybe we can all be a super-hero diety for Halloween. I think I’ll be Isis/Isis. Or is that one too obvious?
Well anything’s better’n dressing as Dr Laura.
Back-up ideas in case Isis/Isis doesn’t work out:
Coyote/Wolverine
Bast/Catwoman
Satan/Daredevil
Gaia/Terra
Nike/Ms Victory
Callisto/Callisto
Inari/Crimson Fox
Camazotz/Batman
Krishna/Deep Blue
Nemesis/Nemesis
Hercules/Hercules
Helios/Sun Girl
Lucifer/Fallen Angel
Iris/Rainbow
Dagon/Aquaman
Selkis/Scorpion
Icarus/Icarus
Herne/Huntress
Ganymede/Ganymede
Mary Magdelene/Magdelene
Zeus/Lightening Lad
Echo/Echo
Atlas/Captain Planet
Baron Cimitiere/Sepulchre
Medusa/Medusa
Nemesis/The Punisher
Cyclops/Cyclops
Pele/Magma
Hecate/Witchfire
Arachne/Spiderman
Tzeench/Changeling
Holy Ghost/The Phantom
Thunderbird/Thunderbird
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Thursday, October 25th, 2007 at 1:45 am and is filed under fanatical, mystical. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Is Rob EVER right about my horrorscope? My gods, that’s about as far off as he can possibly get.
Anyway, those costume ideas are GREAT, Che, but you will need a lot of makeup to be as ugly as Dr Laura. What a nightmare! You’ll make a better Isis/Isis. You’ll have to change your name to Andrea Thomas or at least JoAnna Cameron, but you’re an adaptable person.
Can I be Lucifer/Fallen Angel?!?!?! PLEASE?!?!?!?! If nothing else, the challenge will be to make the male and female aspects both look right. But I am just hoping I’ll ascend to actually being a Fallen Angel (super-magick costume fabric, I’m hoping). Better than those sycophantic UNfallen Angels.
I’m not sure Rob is ever right about anyone’s horoscope. But he’s entertaining.
Of course you can be Lucifer/Fallen Angel. There are enough ideas for everyone. I’d like to do Holy Ghost/Phantom but I’m not sure how I’d pull off the Holy Ghost part of it. I like the Baron Cimitiere/Sepulchre idea. That could work for me.
And of course, feel free to add your own ideas. How about:
Allah/Kismet?
True. Rob is entertaining!
Sweet! I get to be Lucifer/FA. Love the HG/Phantom idea. It may be difficult to actually become ghostly, holy or otherwise, without resorting to the obvious but immutable solution of actually dying.
I dunno the Baron nor Supulchre. You’ve stumped me there. I do like the Allah/Kismet idea. I used to like the Kismet character from comics.
A long time ago I thought it would be neat to go as Supergirl, but I didn’t. I did go as Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction once, and that was as draggy as I ever got.
Once, you and I went to a Halloween party — oh this is pulling the recesses of my mind here — and I wanted to go as Dream from the Endless, but all I had was clown white makeup.
I remember the party being lame.
When the hell was that? Am I conglomerating things in my mind here? That did happen, didn’t it? Seems like I tried to tease up my hair and hold it in place with hair spray.
And did you go as Death from the Endless?
Oh, and that reminds me, I never did get to the slutty Supergirl post.
And here is a cross dressing tale filled with crime!
When I was around 7 or 8, and the Secrets of Isis was on TV, I wanted a horns of Isis necklace so bad I could taste it. If it was good enough for Joanna Cameron, it was good enough for me.
And then a girl down the street had a necklace that was not exactly the horns of Isis, but it was close.
So I stole it from her.
And then I put it under my shirt like Andrea Thomas did. Whenever she was thinking about whatever problem she encountered she used to rub on the chain of the necklace, and then go into an alleyway or something and pull that thing out and say
“O mighty Isis!”
Well, I rubbed that necklace chain just like Ms. Thomas did and my mother said, “What are you wearing?” I lied and said I had borrowed the necklace. My mom told me to take it back immediately.
I never did get to turn into Isis!
Seven years old and already the boy ain’t right.
And believe it or not, Fallen Angel also reminds me I never got around to that Supergirl post.
When the Secrets of Isis was on TV along with Shazam! (owned by DC), DC made a comic book about the show.
It only lasted 8 issues.
But while DC kept the rights to Shazam! Filmation owned Isis outright. After the failure of the 1970s comic book, Filmation said no the the Andrea Thomas/Isis appearing in DC comics.
Well, last year, DC said “Fuck it.” They figured Filmation may own the show Isis, but they don’t own the goddess. So they introduced a slightly altered midriff baring version of her in the pages of the comic “52.”
This woman was named Adrianna Tomaz. She is in no way the Andrea Thomas from TV. Really, they are completely separate characters!
But just in case Filmation sued, Isis died in the pages of 52 not long after her introduction.
Well, it was nice having her back with the Shazam Family, however briefly
Oops. Last link is broken. I probably forgot to put http in it or something, but I can’t go back to a comment like I can go back to a post and change it.
Oh well.
Here is the correct dead Isis link.
Alright. I gotta clear my name here.
I have never dressed as Death from the Endless for Hallowe’en. However I may have inadvertently been mistaken for her, because you know… my clothes back then.
I’m not sure which lame Halloween party you are referring to, but if it wasn’t one of our parties, it was prolly pretty lame. Was it that pagan Samhain party? Did you go with me to that thing? cuz it was lame. Those were some lame-ass wiccans.
I will admit that while I was putting together superhero/deity pairs, I thought of you.
The entire time.
I think it was that Samhain party.
Because it was lame.
Very lame.