Yeah…. Rob. We’ll start with me, because I’m so light-years ahead of everyone else:
I love how electrifyingly your intelligence works, Gemini — how fast you can comprehend things that other people require many twists and turns to grasp. But I don’t love how your quick mind sometimes alienates you from those who are moving more slowly than you, and I don’t love it when that undermines your ability to capitalize on your brilliance. Fortunately, I don’t think this will be a problem in the coming days. From what I can tell, you will have uncanny fun without making any karmic messes as your brainpower generates breathtaking feats of voluminous understanding.
Thaaaaaats right. My voluminous mind, my electrifying intelligence. I just leave all y’all in the dust. An’ y’all know it too. I am Miz Brilliant, so take that!
Okay Steff, you next:
This would be an excellent time for you to visit terminally ill patients in a hospice or go on a tour of a maximum security prison. To take maximum advantage of the current cosmic opportunities, you might also travel to the Slum Theme Park in Americus, Georgia, where Habitat for Humanity has built replicas of the leaky-roofed, earthen-floored, bug-infested huts that so many millions of the world’s poor call home. In other words, Aries, I recommend that you give yourself firsthand exposure to people whose problems are much more demanding than yours. To do so at this juncture in your life’s journey would provide a helpful shock that would inspire you to conquer the personal challenge you find most daunting.
*shudder* Better you than me.
Okay, now for Bas:
You’re coming to the climax of the season of fertile tension and productive arguments. (Let’s hope you haven’t allowed it to devolve into the season of fruitless disputes and awkward silence.) As you prepare to harvest the full potential of the opportunities that have been made available, I offer you three pieces of advice from the French essayist Joseph Joubert. (1) “Never cut what you can untie.” (2) “It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it.” (3) “The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.”
Harvesting the fruits of opportunities is always good. Quoting French essayists, not so much.
Woohoo! Mojo’s gonna win the lottery:
A man in Santiago, Chile won $250,000 in a contest held by his bank. There was only one catch: In accepting the money, Mario Habit had to abide by the bank’s stipulation that he spend all of his winnings in one day. Summoning a manically relaxed concentration, he succeeded, paying off his substantial debts while also buying two cars and three apartments. I believe a comparable opportunity is about to come your way, Sagittarius. You will be offered a new resource or blessing that has to be used quickly in order for it to be fully available and effective.
Okay, I gotta ask. Three apartments and two cars for 250K? And debts all paid off? I’m thinkin’ the living expenses in Santiago are considerably more reasonable than, say, London or New York. Or Atlanta even.
Anyhoo… Mojo. If you win the Jersey equivalent of a Santiago quarter-mil, please consider I need a house. Thankee.
And for Richard the Previous:
Few people realize that in the 15th century the Buddha was canonized as a saint by the Roman Catholic Church. He was officially called Saint Josaphat, a name that’s derived from the word “bodhisattva,” which refers to a deeply compassionate person devoted to becoming an enlightened being. Virtually every element of Josaphat’s life story as reported by the Church is a duplicate of the original legends about the Buddha. I expect to see a comparable theme unfold in your life in the coming weeks, Aquarius. I bet you will get credit or receive an honor or be given an acknowledgement that seems rather accidental, or comes from an unexpected source. Like the Buddha, you will richly deserve the reward, even though it may feel odd or askew at first.
Somehow I doubt R the P is going to be canonized by the Catholic Church. Unless, of course, “canonize” means “fire a cannon at”. Then there’s a distinct possibility. Kinda like there’s a possibility of me being taserized by the Macon PD.
And finally, Shelley, who’s always last by virtue of her Piscesque ways:
How would you go about relocating Tanzania’s Mt. Kilimanjaro to the south of France? How might you undo and fix the debacle of America’s occupation of Iraq? What steps could you take to creatively disrupt the pathological family patterns that have knocked you off-center for years? In 2008, I predict that you will have extraordinary potential to solve impossible problems like those. More than ever before, you will be able to attract the help and summon the inspiration necessary to accomplish goals that have previously seemed beyond your power. And it all starts now, Pisces.
Buy me a beer!
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you know what i was just thinking this very morning? yep. “we ain’t done rob in a while, the poor guy. terrible dry spell, terrible. he needs some luv.”
then, of course, i came here and read my craptastic horoscope. yeah, i’ll go drive through the ghettos of rural southern iowa, maybe let a few meth addicts crash on my couch. will that do it, rob?
There are ghettos in Iowa? I really hope one of the titles of story-a-day (ever notice that the abbreviation of story a day is SAD?) is “The Ghettos of Iowa”.