The Shattered Prayer

I’m talking about Rob. Let’s start with me, shall we?

As I approached a pick-up truck from behind while out driving my car, I saw an unlikely bumper sticker. It said “Surf Colorado.” But Colorado is a landlocked place, I thought to myself, more than a thousand miles from the ocean. At the next red light, I got closer to the truck and was able to read the fine print: “In your river kayak, you don’t need an ocean to catch a wave.” What a perfect message to convey to my Gemini readers, I mused, and resolved to write it into this horoscope. In fact, you are currently in a phase when you don’t need an ocean to surf. Nor, for that matter, do you need a plane in order to fly, a soulmate to achieve romantic rapture, or money to be rich. Your imaginative powers are peaking at the same time as your resourcefulness.

Yep yep… the ole “you don’t need money to be rich”.

Now that we’ve gotten that trite platitude out of the way, we an move on to Steff and her desires.

I urge you to spend 2008 turning all of your pretty good but half-developed notions into a few brilliant, fully formed ideas. While you’re at it, melt down your hundreds of wishy-washy wishes and recast them into three driving desires. This is the Year of Pinpoint Aim, Aries, also known as the Year of Lasering Your Focus and the Year of Seeing with Fierce Clarity. Psyche yourself up for a major campaign to cut the crap so the essence can shine.

’nuff said.

Next up, Bas. Looks like the Libras have graduated from fluffy clouds and rose-colored glasses to all-out euphoria. Way to go, Bas:

A few months ago I went to a costume party on the Cruise Ship Ecstatic, which was docked in San Francisco Bay. The theme was “The Ecstatic Muse: What is the future of your own turn-on?” I recommend you make that your meditation in the coming weeks, Libra. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you’re overdue for a rigorous inventory of your approach to creating rapture, bliss, and joy. If in the course of your investigations you find you’ve been neglecting this essential aspect of your physical and mental health, take dramatic steps to upgrade your zeal. It’s time to get more aggressive about feeling excited.

Now Mojo - good stuff:

Ask not what you can do for your country; ask what your country can do for you. The same advice applies to your relationship with your family, job, closest companion, circle of friends, and favorite group. During this brief period when enlightened selfishness is the wise thing to pursue, don’t get caught up obsessing on how you can serve them. Diplomatically request that they serve you.

Richard the Previous is going to opening metaphorical doors, probably for Mojo, since Mojo will be demanding service in the near future:

While riding my bicycle through a quiet neighborhood this afternoon, I saw two girls fiddling with the gate of a tall wooden fence. They were frustrated because it wouldn’t open and let them inside. One kicked the gate. The other tried unsuccessfully to climb up to reach down over the top to the latch on the other side. Finally, the younger girl put her hand under the gate and managed to free some obstruction on the other side. The gate opened. “I got it! I got it!” she yelled, jumping up and down with exhilarated triumph. I foresee those words and that emotion flying out of you soon when you, too, finally open a metaphorical door that has been stuck.

And it looks like Shelley will become the secret president of the United States, which is pretty damned good considering she’s not even American:

The President of the United States is George W. Bush, but the Secret President of the United States is . . . well, I can’t tell you, can I, because then he or she wouldn’t be secret anymore, right? I can reveal this, though: The Secret President of the United States is working furiously behind the scenes to create a world in which generosity, not fear, is the prime motivator — a world whose moral system is rooted in beauty, love, pleasure, and liberation instead of control, repression, propaganda, and profit. And the Secret President of the United States has a special assignment for you to carry out in the coming months, Pisces. Are you ready to become more of a leader than you’ve ever been before? Do you have the courage to be an inspirational role model who motivates people through the power of beauty, love, pleasure, and liberation?

Recently:

• Super-Sister
• Writing Weekend
• A Coda on CoDA
• Did Plurk Kill the Shattered Prayer?
• Happy Birthday Bea!
• Lois Lane — Unpleasantly Sexy
• Hysterical Blindness
• Welcome back Mojo and Richard.
• Raining. Pouring.
• Those custom Plurk profiles.