Loading ...Spring has sprung and the cherry trees are in bloom. And you know what that means. Yes, my allergies are exacerbated, but thats not what I’m referring to. I’m talking about the Cherry Blossom Festival. Hooray!
Yep, this is the time of year the entire town goes pink, and not in a good way.
I went to the official Cherry Blossom website to find a schedule of events, but the overabundance of pink crashed my browser. Actually, I think it was the dodgy script they have on their page. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that no one in this town can build a decent website.
‘Cept me, of course, and I wouldn’t be caught dead building a big pink website. (I also would never install a glitchy script that crashes browsers).
Anyway, I did finally find a schedule that didn’t crash my browser.
The festival opened up on the 28th of March with a gospel concert. What a fucking surprise. There was also the Cherry Pink Welcome luncheon, hosted by the students of the Fellowship Christian acadamy.
The following day was the first of several pink pancake breakfasts, a dog fashion show, a lawnmower race (Yeehah!) and an evening of worship and praise. Because gods forbid a day go by in this backass town without an evening of worship and praise.
Sunday kicks off with… jeez… would you guess a worship service. I guess the evening of worship and praise the night before just wasn’t enough. Also an athletic dog show. (again with the dogs. Dogs and God - its all we get around here), and… oh…. another evening of worship and praise.
How many evenings of worship and praise does one festival need? I count at least six, plus several more daytime services, and I lost count of the number of gospel concerts. There is at least one gospel concert a day, sometimes two or more.
Can we assume I’ll be avoiding this thing like the plague?
Yes we can.
Lets see, on the non-religious side of things, we have Jerry Brown, the Traveling Showman, and his Monkey, DJango, a shoe-decorating contest, a pink fashion contest, and margarita night.
Oh wait… margarita night. That doesn’t sound too bad.
Hmm… the margaritas are pink. Well, what the fuck do I care, as long as there’s tequila in’em? Gods know I’d need some serious tequila to get through this thing.
And there you have the even of the season. A whole goddam two weeks of pink, dogs, monkeys, shoes, pancakes, lawnmowers, god and margaritas.
Buy me a beer!
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Tro dee tro!
Ah the Cherry Blossom Festival. Such luminaries as Sally Jessy Raphael once graced those hallowed pink streets during the festival. And now we have her conceptual successor DJango, the monkey.
And I say forget these atletic dog shows. I want a show celebrating fat lazy dogs!
You make me glad I’m no longer there.
Although those pink margaritas are tempting. Maybe I’ll make my own and go to some worship service (harder to find up here) just to get the feel of being in the Cherry Blossom Festival.
I think everyone on SP should do something to get the “Cherry Blossom Experience”. That way I don’t have to suffer alone.