Loading ...Today is my sister’s birthday. She is 38. Her son turned 8 two days ago. Our dad turns 68 two days from now. In our family, we like to have a child be born every 29 years and 363 days.
So in honor of my sister’s birthday, I thought I would write about Superboy’s Super-Sister!
Super-Sister appeared only once in the history of Superboy, and that was in Superboy 78, cover dated January 1960. Supergirl had made her debut 7 months earlier in Action 252, so Super Sister had to be called something else. She, unfortunately, got saddled with a name that makes her sound like a title character in a 1970s blacksploitation film. Pam Grier as SUPER SISTER!.
So who is this Super-Sister? How does she fit into Clark Kent’s life?
Well. It just so happens that Superboy is flying on a patrol and sees a Space ship in the clouds. This makes him think to himself “That queer craft…is it a spaceship from another world? I’ll see what this spaceman pilot looks like. . .”
Superboy flies up to the spaceship and receives the shock of his life, “She’s a Space-Woman!” The pilot is naturally surprised to see a flying boy and veers to keep from hitting Superboy. Superboy being the gentleman he is, thinks to himself “Just like a woman to lose control!” and he reluctantly saves her.
After being rescued the woman tells him “I can read minds and picked up your insulting thoughts. ‘Just like a woman!’ Well, my boy, it so happens the world I come from is run by women, not by men!”
Superboy, ever the gentleman, retorts, “If you women run your world the way you run your spaceships…well, I’m glad I don’t live there!”
The woman is further incensed by Superboy’s attitude, “Another insult! I’ll teach you a lesson, you snippy boy!” Superboy doesn’t care for her threats and sniffs, “Bah! I’m invulnerable to all physical harm. . . and the angry way you’re reacting makes me glad I’m not a girl!”
Superboy then flies off, only to discover that the space-woman has TURNED HIM INTO A GIRL!!
Superboy is terrified! “Holy cow! I’ll remain a girl, even though I have a boy’s mind!”
When he gets home, Ma Kent is thrilled! “Well, I’m delighted! I always wanted a daughter!” She tells Clark, “You’ll have to wear dresses now, Clark!” Ma Kent rechristens her new daughter “Claire Kent” and promptly goes shopping.
Claire soon makes her super debut. She doesn’t know how to explain why she is suddenly a girl instead of a boy, but, as one of the comic book captions tells the reader, “Luckily, someone offers his own explanation!” The passerby offers, “You look enough like Superboy to be his twin sister! Maybe Superboy never revealed your existence for reasos of his own!”
A thankful Claire stammers, “How did you . . . er . . . guess? Call me . . . uh. . . Super-Sister!”
In spite of her continued heroics (heroinics?), life is tough for Claire. She has to got to cooking class when she’d rather be the batter in the game the boys are playing (even though as Clark, she never played baseball) and can think of a thousand things more interesting than listening to Lana Lang’s dreamy records!
Gradually, however, she begins to embrace her new found womanhood, especially after getting mocked by the men she saves “Hmff! You may not be as able as Superboy, Super-Sister! After all, super or not, you’re just a girl!”
Super-Sister can’t believe it! “Hmmm…I’ll show them that a Super-Sister can do as well as a Superboy!”
And there are other benefits to owning a pair of breasts! Claire has a new superpower! She can tell when danger is going to happen before it happens! (Take that Spidey-Sense)! Ma Kent knows exactly what is happening to Claire. “You have feminine intuition now! Men don’t have it! It’s like a sixth sense that warns women of dangers in advance!”
Soon, Claire begins to love her transgendered life. She becomes the 1960 version of Gloria Steinem, helping Sisters do it for themselves! “I”m glad I helped another girl! Even if it will seem that I always favor women in danger over men!”
And it turns out, that was the lesson the Space Woman wanted to teach Clark all along! In fact, she didn’t really turn Superboy into Super-Sister! She just made him and everyone else think she had! She simply wanted Clark to understand gender oppression. A grateful Superboy declares “I learned my lesson! I know now how it feels to be a girl and meet undeserved scorn and ridicule from men!”
The SpaceWoman is pleased and says “Good, Superboy! We always treat our men fairly on our woman-ruled world! Farewell!”
So all is right in Smallville and Superboy learns what it is like to have a vagina.
Or does he? Superboy turns to the reader after Space Woman has left and says “As for me, I’m glad I’m still Clark Kent, not Claire Kent!”
Pretty, sneaky, Super-Sis!
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Sunday, August 24th, 2008 at 4:35 pm and is filed under hysterical, lamentable. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
LOL! Made my day, this one did.
But what’s this on the cover about super-baby and the ghost of Jor-El?
Super-Sister didn’t even make the cover! There were usually 3 stories per issue back in those days, and poor old Super-Sister didn’t rate an appearance!
I wish that I could find some links to some of the pictures in the issue, but alas, all you get is Jor-El and Superbaby.
Incidentally, the only Super-hero stories my sister liked growing up were Superbaby stories.
Here is a page with links to several scans of the hilarious original comic.
Too funny! Turns out Superboy makes quite the sexy little Super-Sister!
Thanks Mojo! That is indeed the original story!
Plus one of my favorite stories from when I was a kid! I want to know more about the male Black Canary. Cute little leather jacket, boots and hot pants, sir!