Loading ...I stuck pretty firmly to my schedule today. Tarot readings until noon, a quick cleansing ritual, updated the news, and then… then I got distracted by the idea of masturbation and fantasies about tacos. Hey look, I don’t question your fantasies, you don’t question mine.
It kind of reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where George tried to combine sex with food. I feel he went wrong when he tried to include another human being in the mix. He’d have saved himself a lot of trouble if he’d just had his pastrami sandwich while wanking. Two forms of self-gratification at once.
But I resisted the urge for a wild taco-fuelled jerk-fest and wrote this post instead. What’s it about? Your guess is as good as mine. Perhaps in honour of Seinfeld, its a post about nothing.
As a post-script to this senseless post, a little something not so senseless. As many of you know, and some of you don’t, Bas is a musician. I would like to encourage him to write a Blender song, perhaps something that incorporates the Mojito of the Undead recipe. So please, everyone, post a comment encouraging the creation of a Blender/Mojito song. I can’t help but feel that the world would be a far finer place with such a song gracing its airwaves.
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Saturday, September 9th, 2006 at 1:11 pm and is filed under criminal, edible, subliminal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I would love to hear a song celebrating the creation of the Mojitos of the Undead, all through the timeless power of Blender!
Bas, you have my vote.
I have it on good authority he’s been working on a carrot-grater song. While the carrot-grater is a wonderful kitchen utensil which is reminiscent of R the P’s tongue, it can’t quite compare to the majesty and power of a blender.
Still, I’m looking forward to the carrot-grater song, and hope Bas will also grace us with a Blender song.
See, that’s what you get for kissing a red neck with a mouth full of Skoal! A reputation for a carrot grater tongue. I learned my lesson.
Well maybe your tongue was just rough that night from.. I don’t know, eating pistachios with Johnny Bill or something.
But discerning palates agree (because Will backed me up on this) your tongue is like a carrot grater. Or it was that night.
Sigh. I will learn to love my carrot grater. It’s too bad I don’t like carrots.
I’m not too fond of carrots either. They aren’t really a food are they? They’re just a little TOO orange. Not the subtle pulpy orangeness of an orange, or the fragrant flesh of a melon, or warm glow of a pumpkin. No, they’re ORANGE!
There’s only one way I’ll eat a carrot. In a cake. (I bet you knew I’d say that). A cake with lots of cream cheese frosting.
Have you ever had carrot salad? I’m sure you have since its a southern thang, grating up carrots, mixing it with mayonnaise, and adding raisins. What an atrocity.
I refuse carrot salad.
Here is a true story about carrots and me.
When I was a kid I loved Bugs Bunny (who wouldn’t have loved his thumbing his nose to authority, wise-ass attitude, and penchant for drag?). I wanted to be like Bugs. I got the attitude and authority thumping down pat (though was never one for drag — once or twice maybe) All that left was Bugs’ diet. And what did Bugs eat? Carrots. So I begged my mother to buy me some carrots (mom and dad ate carrots, but not often). So she went out and bought me some carrots.
I was all ready to be enveloped in a taste sensation to complete my Bugs Bunny transformation. I got my six year old self ready and chomped right down on that carrot like my idol.
And promptly vomited.
It was unbelievable nasty.
I haven’t forgiven carrots to this day.
But I do love some carrot cake. Now that’s delicious.
Well thats the secret to rendering carrots edible. Surround them with sugar, flour, lard, cinnamon, nuts and raisins and coat them with thick, sweet, creamy icing.
Its the only way really.
I agree that carrots are much tastier when cooked with sugar & fat, and covered with delicious frosting.
I love RtP’s story about his rather shocking first encounter with carrots. I suppose that if you expect chocolate and get day glo earth flavored mealy carrot… your shock may overcome you.
I agree, it sounded like a truly traumatic experience.
I never ate carrots because whenever I saw them as a child they were always grated up and covered in mayonnaise. Thats enough to put anyone off.
At work one time we were discussing carrots for some reason and I mentioned carrot salad. No one had ever heard of it. When I described it, one older person decided she had had it once but didn’t like it at all. I announced that it was the most disgusting thing ever and that no one should try even making it for fun. My family tried all sorts of things to get me to eat it, but I refused. Vile.
How could you? Those people were living in an insulated paradise where things such as carrot salad were unknown, and you became the Satan on their tree, offering the carrot of forbidden knowledge.
I only like carrots when cooked dead. You know.. UK style
Raw carrots are only suitable to be in the ground and suck water.
He, he.. Just uploaded the Carrot Grater song to my FTP! Che’s got the address to that, if you’re interested. I’m not sure it’s wise to put that here.
Well I just got through downloading it myself and am about to give it a listen. I also sent the link to R the P since he inspired the song with his tongue.
I haven’t listened yet, but I will say that in the Southern US it is also the style to cook all vegetables until they are a mash. Any nutrients and fibre must be cooked out of those things before they go into any Southern mouth.
Its not to different in england really. But in the South, its traditional to cooke vegetables to a mash with salt-pork, then dump pepper vinager or tobasco sauce on your vegetables (especially greens or black-eyed peas).
In England, they don’t care for that much flavour with their food.