Loading ...This year, Story a Day is really three stories a week. The second title we were give was “Deep Fried Moose.” Ugh. Two stinker titles in a row. But I plowed on through and came up with this.
Deep Fried Moose
April stopped dead in her tracks. She looked down at Mabel Smith not believing what the woman had just said to her. “I’m sorry,” April said slowly, “I don’t think I heard you right.”
Mabel just laughed. “You heard me right. But just in case you didn’t, I asked you what you ran into this time. The door? The wall? The side of your house?”
April seethed at the question. Everyone knew what she “ran into.” Especially Mabel Smith. April would like to wipe that condescending holier than thou expression off Mabel’s face. But that would be un-Christian of her.
April had not run into anything. Instead, her husband’s fists had run into her. Just like they had done for the last 15 years. Fifteen years of violence and abuse while everyone in town just stood by and watched it happen. At first there had been quiet concern. Troubled glances. Some people even had taken her aside and asked if she were all right. And she would always say yes. Some people would go so far as to ask her why she didn’t get divorced. As if she could. She was raised to think that divorce wasn’t proper. It was only something that low life, godless people did. Divorce wasn’t an option. You were married until death us do part. That is the way it had always been and that was the way that it always should be.
Besides, even if she didn’t think that, there was no way she could divorce J.D. Pickens. He was the richest man in Moose Fords. He had his hand in every pocket and he owned half of the businesses. He even owned this restaurant, Moose Fords Bar-B-Q, where he “allowed” April to work, mainly so that she could soak up any gossip around town. You never knew when that information could come in handy.
All this job really allowed her to do was see how pathetic the whole town thought she was. She should have been the envy of them all, the first lady of Moose Fords. But all anyone could do was laugh at her behind her back. Poor little rich girl, beaten up by her husband, a man that every man, woman, and child in Moose Fords were afraid of. Deep down all of them thought better April than them. At least she bore the brunt of his fury, sparing them and their little jobs and little lives.
And in the process, she had become a town joke. Always running into things. Poor pathetic April Pickens.
April took a deep breath and said, “That is what I thought you said. I didn’t run over anything. I tripped.”
Mabel and the other women laughed. “At least you’re mixing it up,” Mabel said.
April just smiled sweetly back at the women, “I tripped over your husband. He was passed out face down in the parking lot when I got off work last night. I hope I didn’t hurt him. Though I doubt he could feel anything as drunk as he was. I do hope he got home all right.”
All of the women at the table stopped dead still at April’s words. Lisa Bannion actually dropped her fork in surprise. April had never talked back to any of them before. Ever.
Mabel started to sputter. “How dare you talk to me like that?” she finally managed to spit out.
April just poured Mabel another glass of tea and said, “Mabel, everyone knows your husband’s the town drunk, just like everyone knows that I run into things. Between the two of us, someone’s always falling down. You’d think you’d be a little more sympathetic to my condition.”
Mabel was absolutely fuming now. “You just wait until I tell your husband about this!”
April laughed. “Well, you two are awfully close. Go on and tell him. But you can’t deny Larry was passed out drunk last night.” She poured some tea for Lisa, too. “Or the night before.” She filled Mary Beth Harper’s glass. “Or the night before that.” April held the tea pitcher up and looked off in the distance. “I just wonder what makes him seek out that bottle every night. Are things going okay at home, Mrs. Smith?”
The three women were absolutely shocked. They wondered what in the world had gotten into April. At the next table over, Josephine Watkins and Irolene Lassiter had overheard the interaction. They could no more believe what they were hearing than Mabel Smith’s party could. No one talked back to Mabel Smith. After JD, she was the most feared person in town. April glanced over and saw them staring at her. She snapped, “And you can wipe that smirk off your face, Josephine Watkins. When Larry ain’t drunk he’s in your bed.”
April had said this loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear. Josephine turned white as a sheet and several people actually gasped at what April had said. Irolene Lassiter recovered before anyone else and gently said, “April, that was uncalled for.”
April looked at Irolene and seemed as if she were about to say something about her too, but then thought better of it. She nodded towards Josephine Watkins and said, “That was uncalled for. I apologize, Mrs. Watkins.” She turned back to Mabel Smith and said, “And to you too, Mrs. Smith.” The people in the restaurant collectively let out their breaths a bit. This was more like it. April Pickens was supposed to be as weak and passive as JD was strong and domineering. April looked around the restaurant at all of them looking at her and considered what she was doing. She couldn’t lash out at them. It wasn’t proper. Considering her actions, she actually started to break down in front of them. A few tears came rolled down her cheeks and she said, “That wasn’t right of me. I know it. I’m just so worried, you see.” Everyone leaned in a little closer. “JD didn’t come home last night, and I’m just afraid he’s off in a ditch somewhere.” Everyone started looking at each other wondering who JD had decided to sleep with the night before. April finished weakly, “Or worse.”
Seeing April humiliated again had a mollifying effect on Mabel Smith. After all, she knew where JD was last night. Or part of the night at least. She said, “Well, now, April, that wasn’t right for you to go off on us like that, but I can certainly understand with all the worry you must be feeling with JD not coming home.”
Irolene Lassiter offered, “I’m sure he was just out playing cards, or having fun with some of the workers down at the plant. I’m sure it is nothing to worry about.”
April said, “I know. It just isn’t like him.” Everyone nodded their head as if to agree with her, even though they all knew it was very much like him to stay out all night, drinking, whoring, and having fun at the townspeople’s expense. After all, Moose Fords was his town. There was no denying that.
April collected herself, “Especially when we were going to introduce that new special today at the restaurant.”
Mary Beth Harper, always one to avoid confrontation, tried to redirect the conversation by asking “What is the special? I knew that there was something new that he was introducing, but I don’t know what it is.”
April wiped away her tears and smiled, “He was so proud of it too. All his special creation. It’s called ‘Deep Fried Moose Pie.’ And it is delicious, y’all. And it isn’t fried moose. I mean, really. Can you imagine eating moose? That just isn’t right. It’s just named for the town. It is like a pastry filled with hamburger meat and potatoes. It even has a little bacon in it. And a few other secret ingredients. And then, you actually deep fry the pastry. I can just feel my hips getting bigger thinking about it. And he was so proud of it too. He wanted everyone here to have some of it.”
She started to cry again. “But now he’s not here and no one will have any of it and that means that tonight, he’ll just come home and . . .” she let the sentence end there. Everyone knew what she meant. As much as they made fun of her weakness, none of them would be able to stand up to JD either. And they didn’t want to be the cause of one of the beatings. It was one thing to make fun of her after the fact. It was another to put her in harm’s way.
Mabel Smith actually came to her rescue. “Don’t you worry none, hon. We’ll all have one of these Deep Fried Moose Pies. They sound delicious, now don’t they, y’all?” Everyone at her table quickly agreed with her. Mabel then turned to the rest of the restaurant and said, “And y’all want one too don’t you?”
There was a chorus of yeses all around.
April stopped crying and smiled brightly at all of them. “Y’all are all just so sweet! Thank you so much. You’ll love them. I swear you will! I’ll go get them for you now!”
She bound back to the kitchen and everyone watched her go. When she was out of earshot, Mabel Smith said, “That girl is just plum pathetic.” Everyone murmured their agreement with her assessment.
April, however, did not care what any of them thought. When she got to the kitchen the smile immediately left her face. Although she shouldn’t think it, she hated every one of them. But she couldn’t let them think that.
The cook, Henry Jenkins, looked at her as she walked through the door and asked, “Those bitches getting to you again, honey?”
April pursed her lips as if she disapproved and reprimanded him. “Now, Mr. Jenkins, that ain’t nice, and you know it.” Henry had the temerity to look as if he were actually contrite for his faux pas, but he knew she loved it when he talked that way. April smiled at him sweetly and said, “But they can be a mite trying at times.”
Henry laughed his deep soothing laugh and said, “That they can be. That they sure can be.” He went back to prepping the food.
April said, “And Mr. Jenkins, there is a special order for everyone out there. Those deep fried moose pies I was telling you about, the ones I prepared last night, everyone wants one. They are already made, really. All you have to do is deep fry them.”
Henry looked at the pastry balls in the corner of the kitchen. He said, “Well, to tell you the truth Mrs. Pickens, I think they kind of nasty, but if they’re on the menu, they’re in my fryer.”
April smiled brightly and said, “Mr. Jenkins, you are the sweetest thing. I think you deserve a raise. I’m going to have a word with my husband about that!”
Henry laughed. “That is mighty kind of you, Mrs. Pickens, but if you don’t mind, I won’t bother to get my hopes up too high. Your husband’s a bit tight with his money.”
April just raised her eyebrows and said, “Oh. I don’t know. I think you might just be surprised.”
Henry chuckled again. “If you say so, Mrs. Pickens.”
“I do, Mr. Jenkins! I certainly do.” April had a lightness in her step as she walked over to gather the pastries to be deep fried. She handed them to Henry Jenkins one by one and he dropped them into the boiling oil. As she watched them fry, she thought about how much better her life was going to be. And how much better the lives of all the nice people in town were going to be. Even if there were very few actually nice people. But there were some. People like Henry Jenkins, who always had a kind thing to say to her.
Things were going to get better for April because no one would have to worry about her husband again. Least of all her. As each pastry ball plopped down, she went over the events of last night again, events that had at first terrified her, then sickened her, then finally exhilarated her. Ever since last night, she had felt different. Liberated, even. It was what allowed her to say the things that she always wanted to say to people like Mabel Smith and Josephine Watkins.
And telling them off wasn’t the only thing April had done differently. She had lied to them, too. Something she never did, and it felt good! She knew she would be lying a lot from here on out. And she didn’t care that it was not the Christian thing to do. Hell would have nothing on the years she spent with JD Pickens. The Devil could bring on anything and it wouldn’t phase her. Not after what she had done last night.
It had all started when JD came home late last night as she was grinding the meat for the pies. She always found it better to be awake when he got home, no matter how late it was. And he was drunk. Again. And he smelled of sex. Again. Sex with Mabel Smith. He slept with many women in town, but none more than Mabel Smith. And that was the very reason that everyone feared her. She was what April should have been. Although she was JD’s mistress, the town treated her like JD’s wife, and she wielded the power accordingly.
Last night had been worse than usual, though. JD had waltzed in like a cock of the walk and started telling April all about his night, telling her how Mabel was better in bed than she could ever hope to be. He started telling her how pathetic she was. And how she made him sick. She just listened and kept grinding the meat, hoping he’d wear himself out and go pass out on the bed. But he was relentless. He told her that he was going to divorce her, humiliate her in front of the entire town. He came over to her and started to shove her, asking her what she thought about that. She kept quiet, hoping he would just go away. But he didn’t. And the shoving got more forceful. He kept saying “What do you think about that?” Then he slapped her. And kept asking. And he slapped her again.
April didn’t know why she did it, but she finally had enough. She finally could not take anymore. She finally yelled, “Then go on and divorce me, you coward! But you know you won’t. You don’t have the courage to do it! You need your little whipping girl to let everyone know what a big man you are! Well, you’re nothing! Just a pathetic man who beats up on his wife!”
JD reeled back as if he had been punched. And then the full force of what she had said came over him. He launched himself at her and started punching, releasing his fury like he had rarely done before. April was pushed back and slammed in the wall, the meat grinder still in her hands. As he pounded on her she swung her arms up to protect herself and the grinder hit him square across the face. He fell back, bleeding badly from a deep gash across his forehead. For a moment he was in shock and then he yelled, “You’ll pay for that!” and launched himself at her again. As he flew towards her, she swung the grinder again, hitting him square across the temple.
JD fell down like a sack of potatoes, blood pouring from his face.
April stood stock still for a moment looking at what she had done. She looked at the prone bleeding body of JD, for once looking weak and pathetic. Then she looked at the meat grinder in her hand, a heavy, old fashioned iron thing.
Then JD moaned. In a split second she made a decision. She wasn’t going through 15 more years of this.
April jumped on top of JD, hitting him again and again in the head with the meat grinder, fifteen years of pent up fury unleashing itself through that kitchen appliance. Every humiliation became a blow. Every indiscretion. Every infidelity. Every beating. She beat him over and over and over again until she could not hold her arms up any more. She then fell back, exhausted from her orgy of rage. She looked over at JD, his face unrecognizable, smashed by her unleashed liberation.
And then it hit her.
She had killed JD Pickens, the most powerful man in the town. When she realized what she had done, she sat still for what seemed like hours. What was she going to do? He had kept her captive all of her adult life and now she would go to jail for killing him. He would control her life in his death as much as he ever had in his life.
Even in death he was inescapable.
That is when April decided that was not going to happen. She looked at the meat grinder in her hand one last time, and then over at JD on the floor. She knew what she had to do. There was an animal in her kitchen that had to be cleaned and dressed.
So she got up and went to work.
And now, less than twelve hours later she was serving up that animal to the jackals that were sitting in JD’s restaurant.
Correction. In April’s restaurant.
And it was going to work, too. She would never go to jail. They’d never find a body, and no one would really miss the fact that he was gone.
Except maybe Mabel.
As the first round of Deep Fried Moose Pie came out of the fryer, April started to laugh. If Mabel wanted JD so much, well then she could just have him.
In fact, April would serve him to her right up on a plate.
Buy me a beer!
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LOL, very nice.