Loading ...Ah, the letter B snapped off my keyboard, right as I was writing the sentence, “She nodded and removed her robes”. Now if she’s nodding, and removing her robes, you don’t want to stop and have to snap the letter B back on your keyboard, now do ya? But thats what happened.
And it wasn’t one of those simple, snap-unsnap jobs, it was the situation where all the little piddly bits come apart, and you have to fit them back together just so, or your key ends up warps and disfigured, jutting up from the smooth surface of your laptop to jam its pointy edge into the tip of your oh so delicate finger. 2 out of 3 popes agree, finger-stigmata just doesn’t carry the same gravitas as the palm kind.
No this had to be done right. Now I have long, thin, nimble gemini fingers, which should easily be able to snap those piddly little parts together, so that I could get back to the disrobing. But no, the piddly parts didn’t want to go. They eluded me. They mocked me. I had to break out the torture implements.
The dread needle-nosed pliers. Now, the hammer may be the butt-masturbation tool of the straight man, but the needle-nosed plier, especially when the needle of its nose is heated white-hot, is the S/M tickle-tool of the inquisition. I was some kinda serious about my letter B. After all, without it, I couldn’t spell such fine words as ballyhoo and brouhaha. I couldn’t even spell the word robes. Can’t disrobe if you can’t spell robe.
I wielded the needle-nosed pliers like an expert inquisitor. I torture that B into its proper place. It lay down and snivelled like a bug (do bugs snivel?). Did I succeed? Well I couldn’t spell bug if I hadn’t.
Buy me a beer!
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This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 27th, 2006 at 1:57 am and is filed under fanatical, literal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Damn that old Sony! Well, hopefully your clearly superior repair skills will keep it going for a while longer. I would have screamed and moaned about it for a few days… Not very effective, but easier. Keep up the good work!
Well the Sony’s been working just great so far (except for the whole letter B fiasco, which was partially my fault… okay, mostly my fault… well, maybe entirely my fault. I shouldn’t have been eating crackers near the keyboard so that a cracker bit would jam the letter B, requiring me to clean it… thereby breaking it, but hey its fixed now).
Laptop designers should know that we all eat while working, so they should create repelling force fields. Clearly, it’s a design flaw and not cracker crumbs!
He, he.. Assss long assss you don’t sssspil ssssomething on your ’ssss’ and ssstart to ssstutter…
And call me.. ass.