The Shattered Prayer

Last night I dreamt Bas threw a party in Amsterdam. I crashed it of course. A lot of bloggers I read were there. Ken drank all the good wine, and I was left with the plonk. Ever notice that about parties? There’s always one or two bottles of decent wine, then when you’ve got a bit of a buzz, someone opens a box of plonk, hoping you won’t notice its plonk.

I notice peeing on technology isn’t the most popular topic I’ve ever written about. It seems many people have some sort of aversion to body functions. “We don’t want to know you pee!” they say. But everyone pees.

I wonder, if Type O Negative had sung Everyone Pees instead of Everything Dies, would it have been as popular with the goths?

I don’t know - I had to post this while its fresh in my mind. I just saw a commercial for a pregnancy test advertising in a serious voice, “The most sophisticated piece of technology you’ll ever pee on.”

While this may be true for most people, might I remind my four readers that one New Years Eve, I peed on a Mercedes.

I’m totally not gettin’ my stats here. According to my reports, I’ve had 160 hits on Shattered Prayer  today. According to Feedburner, I’ve had ten. According to Analytics, I’m somewhere in the middle at 43. So who’s right? I’m thinking, none of them are, and they just make shit up so we think they’re doing a good job and will use their products.

The season of baby Jesus being officially over, I find myself missing him a little. So today, instead of surfing for Japanese porn, (as one does on a lazy Sunday afternoon), I went surfing for the Lord.

One site I found was just too good to be true.

I learned from Wired that non-dairy creamer is potentially explosive. So not only does it taste bad, not only is it unsuitable for a vegan diet, but its also deadly. And though I doubt Coffee-Mate is going to become the terrorist weapon of choice anytime soon, the NSA might want to keep one eye open.

They say (whomever ‘they’ are) that what you’re doing at midnight on New Years Eve is what you’ll be doing the rest of the year. This year, I was looking at internet porn. And as much as I enjoy the occasional foray into the seedy underbelly of cyberspace, it isn’t exactly how I want to spend my entire year.