The Shattered Prayer

I don’t think it has EVER taken me longer to read a book in my life, but I’m finally finished with that damned book about the Pilgrims. Long and the short of it? Pilgrims were religious fanatics who needed Native Americans to survive in the “New World” only to betray and annihilate them a generation later. I knew that before reading that book, but at least it is now DONE! In celebration, I turn to the realm of fantasy. And as my nystagmus enables me to wrap the text around me like an inchoate cerement, I immerse myself in the sometimes sabulous words of Stephen R. Donaldson, eschewing all else until I become tabid, roynish, and etiolated.

In other words, I’m reading a new book.

Last August, a woman in Pennsylvania experienced a miracle when she cut open an eggplant. The seeds were arrayed in the shape of the word “God.” Felicia Teske regarded it as a divine sign that had been sent to comfort her for some difficulties she had recently experienced. She felt deep gratitude for the gift. Nevertheless, she cooked up the vegetable and served it to her family for dinner, though not before saving a slice that she offered for sale on eBay. I urge you to follow Felicia’s lead in the coming week, Gemini. Magnetize yourself to epiphanies and breakthroughs that will simultaneously feed your soul, your body, and your bank account.

Ah yes, exploiting miracles for money. Just like somethin’ I’d do. That was my horoscope for the week from Rob, in case you couldn’t guess.